ISABELLA.
A
NOVEL.
BY
THE
AUTHOR OF “RHODA,” &c.
“Take, if you can, ye
careless and supine,
Counsel
and caution from a voice like mine.
Truths
that the theorist could never reach,
And
observation taught me,——I teach.”
COWPER.
IN
THREE VOLUMES.
VOL.
III.
LONDON:
PRINTED
FOR HENRY COLBURN AND CO.
1823.
I S
A B E L L A.
CHAP.
XXXVIII.
Make instruments to plague
and punish us.”
SHAKESPEARE.
IF
appearances were to be trusted, Isabella at this period gave no great proof of
the impassiveness which was so provoking to Lady Charlotte. When they met at
dinner, her cheek was pale, and her eye depressed; she appeared abstracted, and
had scarcely a smile even for the sallies of Mr. Burghley. From motives of
delicacy, this ardent, but well-judging friend, while he endeavoured to
dissipate her sadness, did not appear to notice it. Policy kept Sir Charles
equally unobservant; nor did Mr. Willoughby let fall a word which could betray that he was aware of any change in her usual
manner. But his eye was turned perpetually upon her; he was diligent to shew
her every trifling attention; his discourse was directed to her, and in a tone
that marked more affection than was his custom, except when they were alone.
Isabella
was but too sensible of such marks of interest from the man whom she fondly
loved; and whom the result of her solitary reflections but an hour before had
taught her to believe was about to be torn from her for ever. Her hands trembled, her eyes filled with
tears, and she was on the point of losing all self-command, when Mr. Dunstan’s
“wonder what his Grace will say to my spending my Christmas in this out-of-the-way place,” was
received by Mr. Burghley with such a shout of laughter, so well echoed by the
disdainful tones of Lady Charlotte and Sir Charles, that no pathos could stand
before it. Even Isabella smiled; and thus having a moment in which she could
re-collect the scattered forces of her mind, she regained her power
sufficiently to enter into general conversation, explaining the smile of which
she was conscious, by saying, good-humouredly, to Mr. Dunstan, “the Duke cannot
say less than that we are very attractive, and you very indulgent.”
“Yes,
yes!” said Mr. Dunstan, who was always in good-humour with Isabella, because
she alone treated him with uniform civility, “I dare say that is exactly what
his Grace will say; and,
indeed, it is a great deal the truth. You do contrive to make Eagle’s
Crag very agreeable; and, I am sure, there is nothing in my power, except quite
breaking with the Duke, that I would not do to save you from the ennui
of a tęte-ŕ-tęte.”
Lady
Charlotte’s beautiful lips were drawn into a form which spoke the word fool! as
plainly as if she had uttered it; and Mr. Burghley and Sir Charles again
treating Mr. Dunstan with cheers and laughter, Isabella found the reins
once again in her own hands, and resolved that if possible she would never
again hold them so loosely.
The
effect of the emotion that she had betrayed did not appear to pass so lightly
from the mind of Mr. Willoughby. Contrary to his usual custom, it seemed to
have made an impression on his feelings that proved he feared its cause or its
consequences. She was his first object when, after a short separation, the party
re-assembled over their coffee. He took a moment when Lady Charlotte was
running over the keys of one of the musical instruments, to say to Isabella,
“You
are uneasy: something disturbs you, you are not like yourself; it is impossible
that you should suppose—I am sure your good sense and candour are above
suspicion — you must do me the justice to believe that you are inexpressively
dear to me; you cannot mistake compassion, and a fair appreciation of a
thousand good qualities for any thing that can offend you. She is indeed
to be pitied; you see how unequally she is yoked; and her fervent mind and warm
feelings sometimes betray her into manners and expressions that nobody can
condemn more sincerely than she does. She has not your command of mind; but you
cannot be misled by all this. I am sure you know how to allow for weaknesses that you do not feel; and you
must rather wish to aid, than to condemn my efforts to lighten so hard a lot.
If any misapprehension has disturbed this just view of things, I beseech you to
correct it. You have not a more sincere friend than Lady Charlotte; if there
have been any fault or folly it is mine, not hers; pardon what is past, and
trust me for the future.”
Mr.
Willoughby might have spoken for ever. Isabella would not have dared to have
trusted her voice in reply under the observation that was upon her; she pressed
the hand which he held out to her tenderly between hers, and rising, went
towards Lady Charlotte.
“I
wish,” said she, “you would sing that little Scotch air, which you were singing
the other night.”
Lady
Charlotte looked up to Isabella with a cast of countenance that really
terrified her.
“You
wish that I would sing!” said she; “oh no! I know my own inferiority better.
Nobody would listen to my voice, while they were wishing to hear yours.”
Good
God! thought Isabella, can she be jealous of me?
Extraordinary
as it may seem, this was really the case at this
moment, even to the point of breaking out into fury. She beheld Sir Charles’s
prophecy fast fulfilling, and she felt that if Mr. Willoughby did once
open his eyes, not only to the virtues, but to the charms of Isabella, that she
would rival her in his fancy, as she had before done in his judgment. What then
was she? degraded even in
her own eyes! disappointed in her revenge! the deserted, neglected, and
triumphed-over creature which she had so long destined Isabella to be!
These
thoughts passed like lightning through her brain, and seemed to set it on fire;
she arose hastily from the instrument; but Sir Charles, who saw that she was
ruining both his hopes and her own, laying his hand gently on hers, and as
disregardless of Isabella, as if there had not been such a creature in the
world, he said,
“You
do not thus escape; I would not forego the song you promised me for any
gratification whatever.”
These
words, accompanied by an intelligent pressure of her fingers, recalled her to
common sense; and, resuming her seat, “well then, I will sing,” said she, “but
I shall croak like a raven, for I have felt a cold coming all the evening.”
Nor
did she undervalue her powers; the discord of her mind communicated itself to
her touch and to her
voice, and never did she make worse music.
“Lady
Charlotte,” said Mr. Dunstan, “you play and sing horribly to-night; for pity’s
sake have done.”
“You
play like an angel!” said Sir Charles; “and sing like a seraph!” said Mr.
Burghley laughing; “pray go on, were it only to convict Dunstan of having no ears.”
“Would
he had no tongue!” said Lady Charlotte; and having given a little ease to her
malignant heart by this morsel of mean spite, she sung her next song more like
herself, and better deserved the plaudits that both Sir Charles and Mr.
Burghley lavished upon her.
But
from whence, thought Isabella, arises this change of scene?
She
could easily account for Mr. Burghley’s part in the drama, as arising partly
from roguery and partly from good-nature; but to find Sir Charles in open
alliance with Lady Charlotte, and to see Mr. Willoughby remain throughout the
whole inattentive to what passed, absorbed in his own thoughts, and indifferent
alike to Lady Charlotte’s injuries and Lady
Charlotte’s attractions, had in it something so new and so unaccountable, that she scarcely believed that
she was not in a dream.
Is it
possible, thought she, that my sorrows are passed? Is there no more in the
connexion that has been so painful, than what has been represented? May I trust
for the future?
“Now,”
said Lady Charlotte to Isabella, and rising at the same time from her chair,
“you really must take my place. You see how compliant I have been, even to my
disgrace. You can fear no such consequence from obliging us.”
Isabella sat down, but she felt for
a moment that she could not command a note. She struggled to resume her powers,
and not wholly without success. She chose a little plaintive air, which
required small compass of voice, but she sung it with so much expression, that,
low as were the tones, they reached the ears and the heart of Mr. Willoughby. He
was instantly by her side: but he listened in silence, and when she ceased
singing returned to his place on the sopha, from whence he had been roused. He
did not, however, again fall into a reverie; on the contrary, he took up a
book, and appeared to be occupied in reading. The rest of the party fell almost into an equal silence, till
Mr. Willoughby, as if suddenly becoming conscious of the general dulness,
closed the volume, and said, “Burghley, do you really leave us to-morrow? Is it
impossible that you should give us a little more of your enlivening company? It
seems as if we should want it.”
“It
seems rather as if it were given in vain,” returned Mr. Burghley, laughing;
“but I assure you I should like nothing better than to continue your buffoon as
long as you would tolerate me, if it could be. But I have played the truant too
long; and although my good uncle never scolds, yet he can put his good-natured
words into a certain form which I understand quite as well, and which I respect
much more than I should all the scolding in the world; and his last letter
shews me that he thinks it
is high time that I was again in town.”
“We
may as well go together then,” said Sir Charles, “if you have no objection, and
don’t prefer your valet’s company to mine.”
“What!
will you too leave us?” said Mr. Willoughby. “I thought we were sure of you, at
least for another fortnight.”
“I
thought so myself yesterday,” returned Sir Charles; “but my letters this
morning have determined otherways, to my sincere regret, I assure you. But if
you should not all tire of rustication, I hope I shall be able to get down to
you again before it is long, and bring with me all the gossip and scandal of
the town.”
“Oh!
we shall have lost all taste for such things by that time,” returned Lady
Charlotte. “We are going to be rational and good, ŕ merveille.”
“A merveille, indeed!” returned Mr.
Dunstan, with more than his usual quickness, though not with more than his
usual good-nature, “if some of us are rational and good at all.”
“You
speak for yourself, I suppose,” said Sir Charles, with a severe look; “and none
of us are disposed to dispute your knowledge.”
“Oh!”
cried Mr. Dunstan, trying to get off from an antagonist whom he had by no means
intended to provoke, “the present company, you know, is always excepted.”
This
confusion of ideas made Sir Charles and Mr. Burghley laugh; but Lady
Charlotte’s fiery eye had not yet withdrawn its indignant glance, which her
husband’s first speech had made her cast towards him; and Mr. Willoughby and
Isabella appeared to be absorbed in their own thoughts.
Indeed,
nothing could exceed the astonishment of the latter at what was passing before
her. She had not dared to flatter herself that Sir Charles would leave them;
and to find him determined to do, and with a tone of indifference so contrary
to his usual manner, could not but suggest the suspicion that there was
something more than an unexpected call to town which was the occasion of his
doing so. That there was an intelligence between him and Lady Charlotte she
could no longer doubt. She had heard the latter say, “you are right, there is
not a moment to be lost;” and his reply, “hush;” shewed that he feared she
might betray what she wished to conceal.
What
could be the connexion between them? Her worst suspicions recurred; yet how
were such base purposes to be forwarded by Sir Charles’s withdrawing himself
from Eagle’s Crag? She was resolved to try him upon this point.
“We
are then to lose you to-morrow, Sir Charles?” she said.
“Not
if you command me to stay,” said he.
“I am
not used to command,” replied Isabella.
“A
wish would be sufficient,” said Sir Charles.
“I
have seen more powerful wishes than mine fail,” said Isabella.
“More
powerful! — Ah! whose can those be? — A word, a look would fix me to this spot,
hard as it would be to witness what I must
witness if I did stay, and which I dare not flatter myself I should be allowed
to redress. But I shall offend you. In a word, I must be gone. That horrible
scene in the park revealed to me a secret which, though it shall never pass my
lips, warns me to be gone. I cannot imitate your heroism, and throw myself into
the jaws of the lion, except it were to save something still dearer to the
heart than even your divine little Godfrey.”
These words were uttered as they stood a little
apart; and Isabella had only to step back a few paces to be again in the
hearing of the rest of the party. Her desire to ascertain what Sir Charles
really meant had detained her till he spoke the last word; but it was scarcely
pronounced when, with a look of such severe composure as chilled all the blood
in Sir Charles’s veins, she turned from him, and was again in society. She had
not, indeed, gained any knowledge as to what grounds any understanding between
him and Lady Charlotte could be founded; but she had heard a declaration so
explicit of his sentiments for her, as justified the treating of him from
henceforth with the greatest coldness and distance.
“What!”
said Lady Charlotte, “are you too unsuccessful? Could not your persuasions
prevent the desertion with which we are threatened?”
“I
did not use any persuasions,” replied Isabella.
“Shall
I try my influence?” said Lady Charlotte.
“There
is no point that I wish to gain,” said Isabella.
“Oh!
happy Isabella,” exclaimed Lady Charlotte, “who has nothing to wish!”
“I am
sure,” said Mr. Dunstan, “Mrs. Willoughby deserves to have all her wishes, for
she endeavours to give every body else what they wish.”
“Logical!”
said Lady Charlotte, with one of her most provoking sneers.
“I
tell you what, Lady Charlotte,” said Mr. Dunstan ——
“No,
no, my dear Sir,” said Isabella, who dreaded one of the usual explosions
between this ill-matched pair, “tell me” ——
“So I
will,” said he; “and it is, that I wish to God that Lady Charlotte was like
you.”
“Shall
we change partners?” said the unblushing Lady Charlotte.
“Were
you talking of whist?” said Mr. Willoughby, suddenly rousing himself. “Let us
have a rubber; it will do us all good. Conversation does not go on smoothly
to-night.”
Isabella,
for once, was not sorry for the proposal; and instantly rang for cards. Fate
decided that she and Sir Charles should be the excluded persons; and Isabella,
fixing her eye for a moment steadily on him, as if to assure him that she was
perfectly aware of his presence, deliberately walked to one of the book-cases,
and, taking down a book, established herself at a table, with such an air of
determination not to be interrupted, that Sir Charles did not dare to make any
attempt towards conversation.
But
although Isabella’s eyes were upon the book, her thoughts were far away.
That
the reserve and propriety of behaviour which Sir Charles had so long preserved
should suddenly be broken up by a tone of gallantry so undisguised and so
affrontive to the purity and dignity of her character, she was persuaded could
not be the inadvertence
of an unguarded moment, for Sir Charles had no such moments; and, joined as it
was to an intimation which could not be mistaken, that he was not unaware of
the injuries to which she was exposed from the very person with whom she had so
lately had a proof that he was upon the most confidential footing, seemed to
leave no doubt but that such a change of manner arose from some detestable
purpose, that was to be accomplished by exciting at once her jealousy and her
resentment. It was impossible that the straight-forward spirit of Isabella
could pursue the windings of such a labyrinth; yet she saw enough to put her
more than ever upon her guard equally against Sir Charles and Lady Charlotte;
but she resolved simply to keep the onward path of integrity and truth, and not
to bewilder herself by any attempt at counteraction by plot or stratagem.
It
may be the will of the Most High to try me in the furnace of adversity, thought
she; but, with his help, I trust I shall come out as refined silver or the
purest gold.
It
was no more than necessary that Isabella should forget for a moment the natural
timidity and self-diffidence of her character; — to have doubted her strength
at this time would have been to have fallen.
She
was environed by circumstances that might have seemed to an affrighted mind to
have justified yielding; she felt her safety was in courage, — in being able to
look in the face the desertion of her husband, — the treachery of Lady
Charlotte, — the profligacy of Sir Charles! —to see all this as it really was,
and to take her measures, not upon what the weakness of hope might tempt her to
flatter herself might be, but what
the strength of her intellect told her probably would be. She was aware that what she had most to guard herself
against, was the inconsequent manifestations of her husband’s affections. Never
did she catch a glimpse of the blissful vision of being permanently and
exclusively beloved
by him, but that her whole soul was melted into tenderness. Nothing else in life
appeared to have any value; and she felt, that were she once to suffer the
delusions of imagination to assume the reality of truth, and was then to be
disappointed; that she durst not depend upon either
her reason or her moral sense to preserve her from that tumult of conflicting
passions which scarcely ever settles but in the abyss of vice, or the depths of
despondency.
With
others to hope might be strength;—with her she knew it would be weakness; and her first care was to balance words
by actions.
Mr.
Willoughby had said, “trust me for the future;” but he had solicited the
presence of Lady Charlotte. He had said, “you have not a more sincere friend
than Lady Charlotte;” yet he allowed himself to be engrossed with this supposed
friend to the neglect of herself. He had acknowledged “fault, or folly;” yet he
advocated the cause of her who had betrayed him into such error. Isabella knew
the conclusion that she
should draw from such a statement in the case of another; and she felt it to be
her wisdom and her safety to act by it in her own.
Steeled
by these reflections, she was able, when called upon, to take her place at the
card-table, to know the cards that she played, and to conclude the evening with
ease, and even with cheerfulness. Mr. Willoughby seemed to be reassured by her
recovered composure, and the heterogeneous party seemed to fall into its usual
form.
CHAP.
XXXIX.
“Now
the distemper’d mind
Has lost the concord of
harmonious powers,
Which forms the soul of
happiness, and all
Is off the poise within.” THOMSON.
“Proper deformity seems not
in the fiend
So horrid as in woman.” SHAKSPEARE.
THE
next morning brought the farewell scene of Sir Charles and Mr. Burghley.
Sir
Charles, by half words, by meaning looks, and by affected sighs, maintained, as
far as the eyes that were upon him, and Isabella’s dignified coldness made
possible, the tone of sentiment and attachment that he had assumed the night
before.
“It
is impossible but that I should soon see you again,” said he, as he made his
last adieu; “if it were only” — he stopped, —held out a hand, which met no
corresponding one; —sighed, and withdrew.
Not
so, the frank and honest Burghley. With his eyes glistening, and his heart more
full of compassion and admiration than he cared to avow, “God bless you, my
dear Mrs. Willoughby,” he cried.
“What shall I say of you, and from you, to the thousand and one friends who
will overwhelm me with inquiries of how you do? — what you do? — and when they
shall see you? — May I say there is any chance of your being in town this
spring?”
“No!”
replied Isabella, “for I believe I shall remain here the whole of it. But it
must not be supposed that absence and distance will make me forget those who
are kind enough to remember me. Most particularly, you must commend me to Lord
Burghley. I know he will question you closely about me. Pray tell him that I am
well; that my boy thrives; and ——.” She paused, as at a loss for a third
article of agreeable intelligence; she found none, and was silent.
“Oh!
doubt not but I shall have enough to say to my uncle when you are the subject.
I shall tell him that his ‘brightest star of the east’ is become a northern
luminary, and has dimmed the lustre of every other twinkler. I shall tell
him—.”
“No
need to repeat your lesson to me,” interrupted Isabella. “If you forget half of
it, there will be no loss. I wish you would take a lecture from Lady Rachel
upon flattery, hyperbole, and metaphor; it would do you infinite good.”
“I
like not her regimen,” replied Mr. Burghley; “no pouring in of wine and oil
with Lady Rachel; daggers and molten lead are her universal specifics.”
“You
are mistaken,” said Isabella. “But see her from me; and tell her that she is ever present to me, and
rules every thought.”
“Does
she ever counsel you to add a little of the wiliness of the serpent to the
innocence of the dove?” said Mr. Burghley, in a low voice; “for surely you are
a lambkin amongst wolves.”
“You
have been reproached before,” said Isabella, smiling, “for false quotation. The
word is wisdom, not wiliness; and I can assure you that
wisdom is much more Lady Rachel’s Catholicon, than either daggers or molten
lead.”
“Then
I pray you, my dear Mrs. Willoughby, in her name,” said Mr. Burghley, “to be
wise; and so give me your hand, and God preserve you. And if you should stumble
on my unknown goddess in your walks, as I suspect you will, tell her that there
is a mortal who adores her.” And so, with a most affectionate shake of the
hand, he ran off to the carriage, at the door of which he found Sir Charles,
and the two other gentlemen, grumbling that they were made to await in the cold
the issue of his lengthened farewell to Isabella.
“Burghley
is the happy man I find, Isabella,” said Mr. Willoughby, on returning to the
breakfast-room. “You seemed as if you had scarcely a word for Sir Charles,
notwithstanding what you owe to him; while you kept us all shivering in the
cold to listen to Burghley’s rattle.”
Isabella
coloured deeply at these words. “I really beg your pardon,” said she; “but I
was not aware that the remembrance I had charged him with to Lord Burghley, and
Lady Rachel, had taken up so much time.”
“I
should not have observed it,” returned Mr. Willoughby, “but that Mr. Dunstan
here did; and Sir Charles seemed vexed.”
Isabella
again felt herself colour; and she coloured the more because she saw Lady
Charlotte fix her eye upon her with the most marked and malign attention. She
flattered herself, however, that Mr. Willoughby was not aware of her confusion,
as he was busy arranging with Mr. Dunstan as
to what dogs, and in what direction he should pursue his morning’s
intended amusement of shooting. Before this discussion was wholly finished,
Isabella withdrew to her nursery, as was her customary practice after
breakfast, leaving Lady Charlotte as usual to pursue her own purposes for an
hour or two.
A
part of this time Isabella generally dedicated to the prosecution of that
course of reading which, since her residence at Eagle’s Crag, had made a part
of the regular distribution of her time; but this morning, when, after having
indulged herself with playing with her boy, even for a longer time than usual,
she retired to her book, she found she could not command her attention for five
minutes together; and having read the same page three times over, without
having comprehended a word of what it contained, she gave over the attempt; and
arraying herself for a walk, she went out in the hope that the keen air, and a
variety of objects, would brace her nerves, and settle the confusion of her
thoughts.
Having
wandered about for some time, with little choice or object, she struck into a
sequestered path, which led her a considerable distance from the house, to a
little ornamented
building, placed at the edge of a thick coppice, and opening in front upon the lake and park. As it faced the south, it
was generally warm and cheerful, even at the most dreary season of the year,
and here Isabella proposed to find amusement by watching the deer, and the
water-fowl, and the various other objects that the park and lake presented. The
building consisted of two rooms: the outer one well fitted up, lined thickly
with matting, and its windows and entrance so closely fitted, as nearly to
exclude the outward air; the other was little more than a receptacle for some
additional chairs and tables, for the accommodation of a larger company than
usual; or in which to make tea, when this retreat, which had once been a
favourite spot, was chosen for such a purpose.
Isabella
entered; and had scarcely seated herself in the
place from whence she could command the most extensive view of the scene before
her, when she saw, at a turning of a walk, Lady Charlotte and Mr. Willoughby,
arm in arm, directing their steps to the very asylum which she had chosen for
herself!
To
meet them was intolerable; but thinking herself sure of a retreat through the
inner room, she hastily entered it, and drawing the bolt with equal
precipitation, attempted to open the door through which she proposed to make
her escape.
What
was her dismay on finding it locked on the outside; and at the same moment to
hear Mr. Willoughby and Lady Charlotte enter the outer room! Perhaps the best
thing that she could have done would have been instantly to have made her
appearance; but a moment of irresolution put this out of her power. The voice
and tone of Mr. Willoughby was so impassioned and tender, as to throw her into
an universal tremor, and she sunk almost helplessly on a seat near her.
In the situation in which she was, it was impossible not
to hear ever word that was uttered in the adjoining apartment; and in the
relation which she bore to the speakers, it was not in human nature not to
listen.
“Tell me not,” said Lady Charlotte, in the raised voice
of anger, “tell me not of the warmth and truth of a passion
which was alive to every shade of imperfection in its object, — which could
darken those shades, — and which, on the cold balancing of prudence, could
reject the thing beloved for—what? for excellence, no doubt; but excellence
that did not charm, and merit that could not make happy! Tell such tales as
these, Willoughby, to children; but think not to deceive me. No! like the rest
of your sex, you saw your triumph, and abused it! — you saw that the creature who was cold and haughty to your whole sex
besides, would have been but too yielding to your wishes; and you preferred a
sacrifice to your vanity to the gratification of your love! — cold-hearted,
calculating, prudent Willoughby! And do you now come to solicit that as a
beggar which you might have commanded as a sovereign? — aye, and the poorest of
beggars! What have you now to offer me! — not even your name and hand,
worthless as you have made them by their having been once the property of another! And why was she to be
preferred to me? — in what might not Charlotte Stanton, without presumption,
cope with Isabella Hastings? I even disdain the competition! The man who might
have made the one his own, and chose the other, is not a prize worthy of
contention.”
“How,”
said Mr. Willoughby, “have I deserved this cruel burst of indignation? My
sorrows have met with more
indulgence; the friend has soothed
the mistaken lover; and of the presumption of hope you cannot reproach me.”
“Yes,
do upbraid my weakness,” said Lady Charlotte. “I deserve it well! Oh!
Willoughby, how little have you known the woman whom you have abandoned, —whom
you have undone! —whom, maddened by your desertion, in a moment of frenzy and
revenge, bound herself to the stock — the dolt, to whom, —oh! wretched thought!
—I have made myself accountable. What was it that I would not, even at that
very moment, have done or suffered for you! In your hands I could have been any
thing that you had desired to make me! The distinction of having been your
choice would have rendered all easy. But the world shall not see me degraded,
—dragged at the car of Isabella Hastings! —the despised companion of the man
whom she, with puerile plainings, might claim as her own, — the man whom she
affects to love by rule and measure! by the line of duty, and who seeks to be
so loved in return! — in whose presence your recreant passion quails, and dares
not shew its head!”
“Is
it possible,” said Mr. Willoughby, “that my deference for your delicacy, — my
respect for your situation, should be so misconstrued? And can you wish that I
should outrage my wife, and affront you at the same moment?”
“No,
Sir!” replied Lady Charlotte, with the most insulting disdain, “it is not possible; nor is it possible that I
should take a second place to any body; that I should be compelled to hear your
querulous passion in a morning; and in an evening behold you watch, whether
with fear or love you know best, the eye of your automaton wife! — see her the
object of your solicitude, and hear her praises
from your lips! No, Sir, this is not
possible; nor shall
it be endured any longer. This is not a part that even a friend can take. God knows with what innocence of intention, with
what ardour of affection, I offered to cheer the solitude which your ruined
fortunes make so necessary. I was willing even to conciliate your august
spouse; but she scorns my friendship, and appears to brave my powers! and you,
— gracious Heaven! do I live to hear it? — you talk to me of delicacy, of
respect! of not outraging the person who has
usurped my rights, and rendered me a wretch for ever!”
“For
pity’s sake,” cried Mr. Willoughby, “be less violent. I entreat you to hear
reason. Heaven is my witness how far I was from intending to pain you by any
thing that passed last night. Too well you
know how much reason I have for disturbed thoughts; too well I know how
unfairly I have trespassed on your goodness in accepting your most affectionate
offer to remain here. Can I view the sacrifice you make without regret and
pain? —I who have it no longer in my power to repay by a life of devotion a
tenderness such as yours, which, too ardent to be concealed, and too frank to
be disavowed, is yet restrained by
motives which exalt you in my mind above all the rest of your sex. Can I
contemplate my own situation? can I contemplate yours? and (I must add) that of
an unoffending, innocent,
excellent, confiding creature, to whose happiness I have solemnly sworn to
dedicate myself? and not be exposed to the severest pangs of remorse; the
deepest sense of misfortune? God knows how I have struggled to maintain an
outward calm, when all was tumult within! — when I have rather been willing to
incur the censure of thoughtless indifference, than to betray that I felt, as
all but a villain must feel! And if in such circumstances a temporary
dejection, — a momentary endeavour a little
to lighten, that only part of this
extended evil which can be mitigated,
may have occurred, is such a transient, and only apparent swerving from the ruling feeling of my soul, to be treated
as a dereliction of that attachment which can end only with my life!”
“Oh!
Willoughby,” said Lady Charlotte, “speak ever thus! and let my charmed senses
be alive only to your accents! And, oh! thou dearest object of my heart, pardon
my vehemence. Alas! how dearly have I expiated a fault of temperament which I
was never taught to correct. Pardon too my injustice. I acknowledge that I was
unjust; and that, for a moment, I could have rejoiced that you had been so too;
but, when my heart will let me, I know how to appreciate the superiority that decided your choice,––a superiority in
reason, in dignity of character. Oh! that they could have made you happy! I had
then been less miserable. How have we both suffered from the fatal error that
led you to believe that a heart such as yours could be satisfied with any thing
less than a heart! but let me cease such useless repinings; be it now my only
care to lighten the burthen which you have imposed upon yourself; all that I
can do, short of self-degradation, I will do. I disavow my petulance—my ravings.
I will remain here. I will patiently endure, that you shall ‘endeavour to mitigate the only part of the extended evil
which can be mitigated;’ while I writhe under that which does not admit of cure
or mitigation. Let her have all the merit of implicit obedience to the man she
does not love. I will content myself
with what may belong to my unreserved dedication of myself, short of dishonour,
to the man I do ——”
“Oh, beloved of my soul!” said Mr. Willoughby,
clasping her fervently in his arms, “how shall I thank you? how shall I adore
you enough?”
“Forbear!”
said she, as she released herself from his embrace, “such transports alone can
make me recall the promise I have given. A promise that I never would have
given, had I not known my own power to maintain the limits by which it is
bounded. I know the censure I should incur from the prudes of my own sex, whose
virtue is their weakness, not their strength; who dare not trust themselves;
who take shelter in hypocrisy; but why should I conceal the emotions of my soul? when I know that I can say to
the most headstrong of them, thus far shalt thou go, and no farther.”
“Admirable!
enchanting Charlotte!” exclaimed Mr. Willoughby, “what price is too high to pay
for the distinction of being beloved by such a creature?”
“Willoughby!”
said she, with a deep sigh, and laying her hand affectionately on his, “have
done! heap not faggots on my fiery trial. Fain would I teach you to consider me
only as a friend, a friend that wants as much consolation, as she wishes to
afford. Think
what a lot is mine; and do not aggravate its bitterness by shewing me how happy
I might have been, if you had known what would have made your happiness. What
is to be done? shall I go? shall I stay? can you be content to remain here, and
abide in seclusion, what the slow operation of pinching economy may do towards
restoring you to something like your former state? or will you by one vigorous
act cut off hope and fear at once? sell all you have, discharge your debts,
apportion your wife, and throw yourself on the wide world with the small residue?”
“I
must not, will not, ruin my child!” cried he in an agony. “And yet could I hope,” said the guilty Willoughby, fervently
grasping the fair hand that had not been removed from that on which it had
rested for the last few minutes, “could I hope that my lovely friend would
share my wanderings, — would illuminate my gloom—”
“No,
Willoughby!” interrupted Lady Charlotte, “hope not from me any abandonment of
my duty; gratified as I am by an ardency of passion on your part which so well
knows what mine would grant, could I do so and retain my own esteem. As a wife
I would have feared neither poverty, nor banishment; distance, solitude,
deprivation, should not have separated us. But now our intercourse must be within
the limits of our common society, or it must cease.
“It
is true I owe my odious tyrant nothing; and nothing would I pay him. Were you
once free, I would soon free myself; but I owe it my own dignity that he shall
not spurn me from him, for a man who has not even his name to offer me. I
repeat it, were your bonds once broken, mine should not hold me, formed as they
were under the most unholy auspices, and never sanctified by one after hour of
peace, or love; but I will not be the victim
of the husband even of Isabella
Hastings!”
“Oh, how you rend my heart with
self-reproach! with excruciating regret!” said Mr. Willoughby; “but the
sacrifice would not be wholly yours; I too should immolate most sacred duties,
most highly valued distinctions on the altar of love; but I urge not this plea,
I am already sufficiently wretched without having your ruin to lay to my
charge; but God knows what I can do. I have thoughts of going to town; perhaps
some resource may be found short of what you have suggested. I cannot make my
boy a beggar. I would rather waste out the lamp of life in the most miserable
dungeon; but I should have better hopes of success, if you, my beloved friend,
were to be near me, to warn me from danger, to aid me by your counsel; yet
appearances would be better preserved, if you were to remain here. You might
prepare; you might support her. It would then at least be impossible that she
should do you the injustice to believe that you injured her! yet how can I bear
to separate myself from my dearest friend! my wisest, my most disinterested
adviser, at such a critical moment?”
“I
repeat it,” returned Lady Charlotte, “that I go or stay, as you may decide, or even, if you please, as Mrs.
Willoughby may decide; hopeless as I am that she will ever do me justice, or
allow me to be of any use, or consolation to her.”
“Come,
my beloved,” said Mr. Willoughby, “let us walk. I fear the dampness of this
place may injure you; and as we return to the house we will determine upon what
is best to be done.”
“Secure
in our innocence,” said Lady Charlotte, locking her arm within that of Mr.
Willoughby’s, “we cannot fear the reproach of our own hearts, let us determine
upon what we will; and I am sure that you and I alike despise the censure of an
ill-judging world.”
And
with these words this guiltless and courageous creature, with an assured step,
and an erect countenance, withdrew from a spot where she had been putting into
action every spring of a machine which she hoped was to plunge the object of
her professed attachment into an abyss of misery and guilt. This unhappy being
however seemed to have taken a much juster estimate of his own conduct, and its
consequences, than did his
more daring, and iron-souled associate. His face was pale; his eye downcast;
his limbs trembling; and the arm which held his, communicated more support than
it received.
CHAP.
XL.
“Alas!
there’s no sound
To
raise him short of thunder!”
BYRON.
BUT
they are gone! and Isabella remains! and how does she remain? a motionless
body, from whence the animating principle seems to be fled. No colour was in
the cheek; no speculation was in the eye. There was no power of action, or of
thought: the heart, indeed, swelled as if it would have burst “its continent;”
but the voice had no utterance; the mind no consciousness; life and death
seemed to contend for victory!
At
length, “Oh God!” burst from her convulsed and colourless lips;–– “Oh, God, pardon him!” and
the breaking heart was saved!
The
awfulness of the appeal absorbed all mortal feelings. Wrongs! misery! were lost
in the sense of the obnoxiousness of guilt.
The
energy of prayer seemed to have restored her activity. Something perhaps she
might do that might aid its efficacy. She hastily released herself from her
confinement, and began to walk with a quick pace, she hardly knew whither, or
for what purpose. But her strength seconded not her wishes: her limbs became
trembling, — she gasped for breath: she was obliged to stop; to rest on the
first object that was near her. The overwhelmingness of recollections came over
her, and with it such a conviction of the difficulties of her situation, as
nearly to throw her into despair.
“What
shall I do? teach me, thou Fountain of Wisdom, to do what will please thee
best!”
And again she was calmed. She walked
slowly forward; unable to determine for the future, and for the present more
alive to the single thought of how she should endure the shock of the first meeting with her
injurers, than to any other of the sad variety of which her wretchedness was
composed. She struck first into one, and then into another circuitous path: she
recoiled from the view of those walls
that sheltered those whom she so much dreaded to see; and striking off from the
usual entrance, she found her way into the house, as if she had been the guilty
one, through a little private door, that opened into a small hall, from whence
went a flight of stairs that led directly to her own apartment. Here, to her
surprise, she encountered Mrs. Evans, who appeared to be seeking for her; and
whose caution that she must not be too much
alarmed, told her of misfortune; and awakened her to a sense of danger.
“What?
how? have they? has she?”
“Indeed,
madam, he will be well again; it often happens; you must not be frightened; the
last fit was not so strong as the first. I have put him into hot water; he is
better.”
“Oh
my child!” said Isabella, and rushed up stairs. Here she found the poor little
boy just recovering from a severe convulsion
fit, which, although no uncommon incident, at his age, seemed to the
inexperienced, and half distracted mother, as the agony of death.
“I
have sent for the apothecary,” said Mrs. Evans; “but I hope he will be quite
well before he comes. I have seen many such accidents; it is only teeth; he
will be well again in a few hours, and there is no particular danger of any
return.”
Isabella’s
mind was now wholly engaged with the illness of her child: all that had passed
so short a time before faded from her recollection; she was sensible alone to
the sufferings of the object before her.
Mrs.
Evans’s calm and judicious manner
stilled however, before long, the agitation of Isabella’s distracted feelings.
She took the child upon her knee: her tears flowed, and she felt that the
revulsion caused by this new infliction, had probably saved either her brain or
her life.
She inquired for Mr. Willoughby, and
found that he was not returned; but as she received this information, he
hastily entered the room.
“My
dearest Isabella! my love!”
Isabella
raised her eyes to him, with a look of so much wildness, that he had no thought
but that the illness of the boy had unsettled her brain.
“My
dear, dear love, be not so alarmed!” said he, clasping his arms round her; “our
beloved boy will be better; he will do well; will he not, Evans?”
“Oh
you will hurt him! you will hurt
him!” said Isabella, struggling to disengage herself from Mr. Willoughby’s
embrace.
“Not
for worlds! nor you either!” said he, with the tenderest and most impassioned
accent: and drawing a chair close to hers, he put one arm round her waist, and
laid the other hand gently on the child. Isabella again looked up to him, with
such a gaze of wild surprise and doubt, as at once astonished, and alarmed him.
“Evans,”
said he, “give Mrs. Willoughby some cordial. Rest your head on my shoulder, my
love,” said he; “you have been dreadfully alarmed; but for my sake compose
yourself.”
“I
have indeed been dreadfully alarmed,” said Isabella. “For your sake did you
say?”
“And
for our dear boy’s sake,” said he.
“Oh
Willoughby!” said Isabella, and burst into tears.
“Thank
God!” said Mr. Willoughby, she will now be better.
Mrs.
Evans quietly removed the child from Isabella’s lap; and Isabella, reclining on
Mr. Willoughby, continued to weep; while the fondness of his caresses, and his
anxious solicitude, seemed to make the tears flow but the more copiously.
Calmness and self-command, however, came with them; and the appearance of the
medical assistant, centering again the whole of her feelings in the child,
restored her to still further power of exertion.
She
had the consolation to hear him declare that the paroxysm was passed; that all
which had been done was right; and that there was nothing to be feared for the
future.
“You
will then, sir, I fear, find Mrs. Willoughby the greater invalid of the two,”
said Mr. Willoughby.
“Isabella,
my love, be kind enough to let Mr. Hawkins feel your pulse. Mrs. Willoughby has
been terrified till I fear that she is really ill.”
Mr.
Hawkins acknowledged that the pulse was extremely agitated and irregular;
prescribed a composing draught; assured Isabella that she had no further reason
for alarm; promised to call again in the morning; and took his departure.
Had
this really skilful professor been aware of the extent of Isabella’s moral
sufferings, he could perhaps have done no more for her than he did; but he
would have done it with less hope that she would benefit by his prescription.
Quiet was what Isabella knew she could not have; but seclusion was of all
things what she wished for most. As her fears for her boy had subsided, the
wretchedness of her own situation presented itself the more forcibly to her
imagination. A new sense of pain was excited by what a few hours before she
would have felt as the foretaste of the happiness that she most wished for in
this world. But how, after what she had so recently seen and heard, could she
regard the solicitude shewn towards her by Mr. Willoughby, but as the grossest
hypocrisy, to cover the basest purposes? Never had she till this moment felt
indignant against him; and the consciousness of anger towards an object so
beloved, had an acuteness of pain that she thought more intolerable than any
that she had ever felt before.
She
sat absorbed, and silent; her cheek one moment a glowing crimson, and the next
faded to a death-like paleness. Mr. Willoughby sat down by her, and, folding
her cold and passive hands in his, “My dear Isabella,” said he, “you terrify
me: I never saw you so desert yourself. What is it that you fear? you must be
persuaded that all danger is past; that we have nothing to do but to thank God for the safety of our dear boy.”
“I do
thank God; I do indeed!” said Isabella; “but—— pray leave me; I know I shall be
better when I am alone. But I have such a fixed pain here,” said she, laying her hand on her heart, “that I cannot
speak: and such a pain here,” added
she, removing her hand to her head, “that I cannot think. Evans give me the
medicine that was ordered. I will lie down here—close to my boy; let no body
come near me but Evans for a few hours, and I shall be better.”
Mr.
Willoughby would have remonstrated against the place which she had chosen for
her repose; wished her to remove into her own room, and said that he would
himself watch by her; but she said, with something of impatience in her accent,
“Pray let me have my own way; if I must leave my boy, I shall go distracted. I
would rather be alone.”
Mr.
Willoughby fondly soothed her, and embraced her fervently; and again entreating
that she would for his sake do all that she could to recover her composure,
very unwillingly quitted the room; not without some suspicion that the alarm on
account of the child’s illness was not the whole cause of her malady.
And
can all this be false? thought Isabella. Can that open brow cover the basest
heart? Can those accents which seem to flow so spontaneously from the feeling,
be suborned? If I wrong him, I am the most guilty of creatures! if I wrong him
not, I am the most wretched! The wanderings of his fancy, the surprise of his
passions, I was but too well aware that I was exposed to; but never could I
have suspected him of premeditated treachery. Never could I have believed that
he would have attempted to deceive, only the more easily to destroy me!
If
this is so, no future moment can give me peace. I can never cease to love; but
the love of such a man, could I obtain it, could never make me happy.
Absorbed
in her wretchedness, Isabella thought not of taking care of her health; but
urged by Evans, she at length consented to put off a part of her clothes, and
to lie down on a sofa, by the bed on which her child was now in a sweet sleep.
The
sight of his serene countenance communicated some degree of calm to her heart,
and she had just dropped into a kind of doze, when she started up:
“Did
I not hear a noise?” said she.
“Oh,
madam, my master will be so sorry!” replied Mrs. Evans; “I am sure he would not
have awoke you for the world. He has been standing at the door all this time,
and was so unhappy about you, that I could not but let him just look at you, that
he might see how quiet you were; and it was his foot, just as he left the side
of the sofa, that made you start.”
No!
thought Isabella, this cannot be trick; he may be seduced; he can never be
false. “Where is Mr. Willoughby?” said she. “Tell him that I wish to see him.”
Mr.
Willoughby had not withdrawn beyond the outside of the door; he heard the kind
inquiry, and the welcome wish; and was again in an instant by the side of
Isabella.
“You
are very kind,” said she, stretching out her hand to him: “and I wished to see
you, to tell you that I felt you to be so; and that I am better, a great deal
better; and now leave me, and I shall go to sleep in good earnest.”
“God
bless you, my sweet love!” said he, kissing her; “and pray be as good as your
word, and make us all happy again.”
Us
all! thought Isabella: can he really believe that any body but himself — that
Lady Charlotte cares whether I am ill or well? is he indeed so much her dupe?
and is it indeed beyond my power to undeceive him?
Something
like hope followed this thought; and in the indulgence of it she fell asleep,
and slept quietly and soundly for some hours.
Nor
had this short interval been less consoling to Mr. Willoughby. A strong
apprehension that Isabella had, by some means, become mistress of more of the
real truth than he wished her to know, had fixed itself on his mind. The
wildness of her look when he first accosted her, he could have referred to the
alarm she was under for an interest so dear; but her manner of repulsing his
caresses; her hasty question, “for your sake do you say?” her pathetic, and as
it were appealing, “Oh, Willoughby!” the little consolation that she had seemed to derive from the assurances of the
safety of her child; her peremptory desire to be alone; her want of compliance
with his reasonable request, that she would not seek repose in a place where
she was so little likely to find it; a something of failure in her usual
gentleness of demeanour; all these circumstances bespoke a mind agitated by
more than one painful feeling; the conscience of Mr. Willoughby was prompt to
refer it to its true cause. On his
first knowledge of the child’s illness, he had sought her from a genuine desire
to console, and to be consoled, for the impending misfortune which seemed
equally to hang over them both; and from a tenderness of affection, which at the moment admitted of no rival. Lady Charlotte
and her allurements had vanished from his imagination, and they were only
recalled by the extraordinary and unexpected manner in which he had been
received by Isabella; but they were recalled, not under the false colours with
which Lady Charlotte’s asserted innocence, and his own sophistry had invested
them, but in all the naked horrors of their real guilt; and he felt himself at
once the betrayer and the destroyer of the creature whom he had sworn to foster
and protect. His whole future peace of mind lay upon the safety of Isabella;
and in yielding to her earnest desire that he would quit her, he felt some
consolation in affording her the only gratification which she seemed willing to
receive at his hands. But to rejoin Lady Charlotte was impossible! he found
that he could not resolve to quit the door of the apartment which contained all
that he thought he prized on earth. He had remained fixed as it were upon the
threshold, from whence the compassion of Mrs. Evans had only induced him to
stir, by the hope of seeing Isabella in a state of repose; he had now done
more: he had seen her again at her own desire; she had spoken kindly to him;
she had assured him that she “was better,” “much better;” she had promised to
rest, and she had promised it in a manner that seemed to acknowledge a kind
recognition of the interest that he took in her welfare. Mr. Willoughby’s fears
for her life and health were dissipated, and he was ready to renounce the
painful thought that he had in any way contributed to the disorder he had
witnessed.
“It
all proceeded, no doubt (said he to himself) from anxiety for her boy; she
loves him a thousand times better than she can love me; and reasonably so; and
no wonder, if my very kindness was of no value, while she thought his life at
stake. The moment that a little repose had calmed her mind, she returns to the
even tenour of that regulated affection which her duty dictates to her as my
due. Had she had a heart so formed for love as Lady Charlotte’s, what a happy
man had I been! but she is as amiable as possible; and I am incapable of injuring her, further than by a preference
which I cannot control, and which is sufficiently expiated by the misery it occasions me.”
By
such hollow reasoning did Mr. Willoughby still the honest voice of conscience,
which would have told him what he was, and what he ought to be! but the moment
when she must be heard was not yet
come; and he sought Lady Charlotte to tell her that his boy was safe, and that
Isabella would be quite well in the morning.
CHAP.
XLI.
“Thou art alone,
If thy rare qualities, sweet
gentleness,
Thy meekness, saint-like,
wife-like government,
Obeying in commanding, and
thy parts
Sovereign and pious, could
but speak thee out
The Queen of earthly
Queens.”
SHAKSPEARE.
HE
had no cause to distrust his sagacity, when he saw that the child gave no cause
for anxiety; and that Isabella, although pale and wan, yet, with her wonted countenance and voice, resumed
her accustomed ways of going on; and seemed not to have been aware, or to have
forgotten, that there had been a moment when the attentions of her husband had
been less acceptable to her than usual.
“Nothing
can be more clear,” thought he, re-assuring himself, “than that the whole was occasioned by her alarm for her
boy. I never gave her cause to suspect me of unkindness; and I hope I never
shall.”
The
fact however was, that Isabella was so occupied in preparing herself for the future,
that the past was less in her thoughts than a few hours before she could have
believed possible. The genuine concern and affection that Mr. Willoughby had
manifested for her, had suspended in her apprehension the certainty of the
consummation of her misfortune. “There was no purposed deceit.” “She might be
able to open his eyes to Lady Charlotte’s true character.” “Perhaps he had
already abandoned the project of leaving Eagle’s Crag.” “If he did really love
her—if he did care for her happiness—she might prevail with him to open all his
pecuniary distresses to her; and she promised herself, that in any competition
between Lady Charlotte and herself, who would do or suffer most for him, or
with him, that she should come off victor.” All these important questions were
now at issue; and they could only be determined by her taking her accustomed
share in the general society. She put aside, therefore, the horror that she had
conceived of communicating with Lady Charlotte; she sacrificed her anxious
desire of remaining near her child; and she joined the party at breakfast, at
the usual hour.
It
was, however, almost beyond the power of her forbearance to receive with
complacency Lady Charlotte’s congratulations on the recovery of her boy, and
her vehement assurances of the anxiety that she had felt on the report of the
effect which the first alarm had had upon her health.
“Upon
my word, my dear,” said she, “you look like a perfect rag now. This has been a
worse adventure than the red stag. We must take a great deal of care of you,
and nurse you well, or we shall have you sick when the little urchin who has been the cause of all this mischief is quite
well.”
Mr.
Willoughby fixed his eyes upon Isabella, on Lady Charlotte’s thus addressing
her, with so penetrating and scrutinising a look; that a consciousness that he
had remarked her repulsive coldness in return, made the ready blood mount to
her cheek: but she did not therefore relax the severity of her manner. She simply replied, “that when the cause was passed the
effect would cease.”
“Oh!
yes,” said Mr. Willoughby, “our dear boy is safe; and you will be soon quite
well, and blooming as ever.”
“I am
quite well,” said Isabella; “and as to bloom,” and it returned as she spoke,
“we all know how short lived a
possession that is.”
“You
and I, however,” said Lady Charlotte, “may surely reckon upon its continuance
for half a century to come.”
“I do
not reckon upon it for an hour,” said Isabella, with a sigh.
“My
dear Isabella,” said Mr. Willoughby, “let us have no more such charnel-house observations; or you will force me to
tell you, that I shall love you when you are old and wrinkled as well as I do
now in all your youth and beauty.”
“And
I hope you would say true,” replied Isabella, with a smile of conscious worth:
“I verily believe that you will love me better.”
“God
grant that you may say true!” said Mr. Willoughby; and he said it with a
warmth, that clouded Lady Charlotte’s brow, and made Isabella’s heart glow. “I
shall not be abandoned!” said Isabella to herself; and the thrill of delight
which struck through every feeling, was scarcely subsided, when Mr. Willoughby,
on Lady Charlotte’s leaving the room, said,
“I
wish to speak with you, Isabella; let us go into the library.”
Isabella’s
hope died within her; she trembled; now she thought is the dreadful
annunciation about to be made!
But
it seemed as if Mr. Willoughby could not make it; the privacy he had sought he
appeared not to dare to use; he walked to the books; he observed that some of
them were not in their proper places; wondered that people could be so
careless; from thence turned to the window, said it was a fine day, talked of
the view; looked towards the fire, and rung to have more coals put on. Isabella
could no longer doubt what it was that she was about to hear. Mr. Willoughby’s
timidity gave her courage; and when the servant had withdrawn, after waiting a
moment to see if Mr. Willoughby would speak, she said, “I am quite ready to
attend to you; you said that you wanted to speak to me.”
“I
do,” said Mr. Willoughby; “but on my soul I do not know how to speak! There is
nothing on earth that I wish more than to make you happy, and yet it is my fate
to make you miserable.”
“You
cannot make me miserable,” returned Isabella, “except you wish to make me so.
Any misfortune common to us both, you shall see I can bear, not as an
additional burthen to you, but as a support and a comforter.”
“I
know the calmness and strength of your mind,” replied he; “but I speak not so
much of the sense that you will entertain of the evil, as of the wretchedness
that I shall feel in having involved you in it.”
“Tell
me what the evil is to which you allude,” said Isabella; “or rather let me tell
you. You do know that I cannot be inadvertent of the difficulties under
which you labour with respect to your property; and you will know that
there is no measure of retrenchment or deprivation which you may think
expedient to adopt, that I shall not come into with the most unrepining
acquiescence; but then, my dear Willoughby, you must deal ingenuously with me; you must let me
know the whole truth, the extent of the mischief, and by what means you propose
to repair it.”
“I
have such means, I confidently believe,” returned he; “but I doubt whether I
should be able to make you comprehend them in all their bearings; nor can they
be prosecuted here: I must go to town.”
“Let
me go with you there,” said Isabella, eagerly.
“Go
with me!” repeated Mr. Willoughby, astonished, “what, and leave Godfrey? and at
this time too?”
“I
love my child through you,” returned Isabella; “and when the son and the father
are in the scale, can you doubt which way the balance will turn?”
“But
you cannot go with me,” he replied; “I have not a place to shelter you
in; Beechwood you know is gone, and if the town house is not sold, it must be,
or disposed of in
some way or other immediately.
“Let
not this be an objection,” said Isabella; “I am sure Lady Rachel will gladly
receive me.”
“No,
no, Isabella; it cannot, must not be,” returned Mr. Willoughby. “I would not be
exposed to the animadversions of Lady Rachel on placing you in such a situation
for any consideration whatever; if you have any regard for me, you will not
wish to give me so severe a mortification.”
“Then,”
said Isabella (and she said it with the greatest earnestness of entreaty), “if
you have any regard for yourself, for me, or for your child, remain where you
are! if I cannot comprehend all the necessary details on which to ground
the remedial plan that you meditate, Roberts can; you cannot have a more
faithful or a more acute assistant. The sale of the house can as well be done
by agency as in person; no unnecessary expenses will be incurred; the
approbation of all, whose approbation is worth a wish, will follow your
determination not to abandon your wife and child.”
“Abandon!”
repeated Mr. Willoughby; “you speak as if a journey upon business was a
dereliction of my duties. I go, only that I may pursue the best method to
remedy evils, which I take shame to myself for having suffered to get so great
a head, without having sooner applied a sufficient check to them. I cannot do
this here. I had hoped that I might have done so; I have considered the
matter in all its lights, and I find it to be impossible; do not give so
reproachful a term as abandonment to a necessary piece of self-denial.”
“If
this be so,” said Isabella, “I repeat my request; let me go with you. Whatever
is accommodation for you will be accommodation for me; and I dare affirm that
Lady Rachel will better approve that I should be subjected to apparent
inconveniences, than that I should be left.”
“Ask
me,” returned Mr. Willoughby, impatiently, “what I can grant. It cannot
be either that you should accompany me to town, or that I should stay here with
you.”
“I
will ask you what you can grant,” said Isabella. “Open your whole heart to me. It is not wisdom, it is not
experience, that always furnishes the best counsel. The sagacity of affection
often goes beyond them both. In this case your interest cannot be divided from
mine: may I not be supposed to be something of a judge what will best promote
the happiness of both?”
“And
can I be suspected of betraying either?” said Mr. Willoughby. “Isabella, you
must rely upon me. There is no want of confidence. I would only save you the
knowledge of many painful particulars; and, when you see the result, you will
thank me for having spared you the details. My absence will not be long, and
you will not be alone.”
“Not
alone!” said Isabella; “who then will be with me?”
“Lady
Charlotte!” said Mr. Willoughby; but he said it with the colour rising even to
his forehead, and in a voice scarcely articulate. “It is true,” added he,
gaining more courage as he proceeded, “that Dunstan is the most unpersuadable
of creatures, and the most tyrannical; as all fools are, and now he finds that
I am likely to be absent, although for so short a time, he repents of his
engagement to remain with us; but Lady Charlotte is true to her promise, and if
she can hope to make her society acceptable to you, she will be most happy to
be your companion.”
“I
beg,” said Isabella, with as much of
haughtiness as would sit upon her features; “I beg that I may be allowed to
decline Lady Charlotte’s company.”
“You
have a strange prejudice against Lady Charlotte,” said Mr. Willoughby. “I
should have thought that your relationship, and early habits of intimacy, would
have enabled you to have known her better.”
“It
is not prejudice that keeps me apart from Lady Charlotte,” said Isabella: “it
is knowledge.”
“Knowledge?
knowledge of what?” said Mr. Willoughby, with quickness.
“Knowledge,
that under the mask of the most ungoverned frankness, she is capable of the
most consummate art. She cannot dupe me. I pray God that she may not dupe
others.”
Mr.
Willoughby stood confounded.
“Good
God, Isabella! what can you mean? How can
you be so unjust?”
“I am
not unjust,” replied Isabella, calmly; “and I again desire that she may not be
my companion.”
“Be
that as you please,” said Mr. Willoughby. “She will at least escape a little
from the ill-humour of Dunstan, when she can tell him that she is likely to
return to town. I fancy they will go to-morrow; and as—as—” he hesitated—“as I must
go, it will be best to take a seat in their carriage: it will save an
unnecessary expense, as you observe.”
Mr.
Willoughby looked as if he expected that such a proposal would have met from
Isabella a most animated disapproval; or that it would have produced an emotion
that would be extremely embarrassing to him: but Isabella was not taken by
surprise; she had learned nothing from the conversation that had passed for
which she was not fully prepared; and she received what she considered as the
consummation of her fate, with all the calmness of despair.
“Willoughby,”
said she, fixing her eyes intently upon him, “I
am not deceived. You have refused to remain with me, or to suffer me to
accompany you. There can be but one reason for this. Go, then! but be assured
that, whether you go in a vain confidence in
your own strength, or in the hope of an indulgence of your weakness, that you
are about to tread a path which can lead to nothing but misery and remorse.
Under this conviction, I feel almost reckless as to what is to become of me or
my infant. If you will destroy yourself, it may be best that we
should all perish together.”
“Dearest
Isabella, talk not so strangely,” said Mr. Willoughby. “I can no longer conceal
from myself to what your suspicions point; but, by the God who made me, you do
me injustice. You wrong too another, who is incapable of injuring you; who, sensible
as she is of your aversion to her, never fails to acknowledge all your merits,
and who is ready to administer to you all the offices of friendship. I go to
town wholly for the purpose of arranging my affairs in such a manner as
will enable me to return to you with peace of mind, and the means of making you
happy for the future. Do not deaden my inclinations to do this, by any
perversity of construction—by any ungenerous suspicions of those to whom you
are more obliged than you can even conjecture.”
“I am sincerely persuaded,” returned Isabella, “that at this moment you believe what you say. Yet all that I foresee will not the less happen. God preserve you! Yet is it not presumption to pray for one who willingly rushes on destruction?”
And
as she said these words, her rising emotion became too powerful for control,
she turned from him, and hastily quitted the room.
But
she did not leave him without having made an indelible impression on his mind.
It was impossible, in this instance, to mistake calmness of manner for coldness
of temperament; it was impossible to believe that any other human creature had
a paramount interest to his own in her heart. She had offered, for his sake, to
quit an object that had hitherto appeared to be the darling passion of her
soul. She had holden even this precious possession but as “dust upon the
balance,” not in competition with any selfish gratification, but in comparison
of the safety, the peace, and the virtue of the man whom she believed loved
another in preference to herself. She had frankly avowed her suspicion of the
injustice done her; but neither obloquy, invective, nor rage, had accompanied
her avowal: all sense of her own wrongs appeared to be absorbed in concern for
the guilt of him who wronged her. She appeared as an immortal intelligence
mourning over the sins of frail humanity; but she proved, notwithstanding, that
she was no more than human herself, by the varying passions that had marked her
changing countenance, and by an emotion which had at length shaken her frame
almost past endurance.
Could
it then be that a comparison should not force itself on the mind of the
wretched Willoughby? That giving to Isabella all that his reason and his moral
sense could approve, left to Lady Charlotte nothing but the basest dregs of
passion! A passion that he believed could never be gratified, but upon terms
that he had not, that he did not wish to have to offer.
“Why
should I not break my chains at once?” cried he aloud. “Why not, from this
moment, be what I ought to be, and what until I am, I can never be happy?”
And
it might have been that this virtuous thought might have sprung into action,
had not the evil one stood before him in the form of a beautiful and a wicked
woman.
Lady
Charlotte was at hand: the closing of one door was a signal for her to enter at
the other.
“Well,”
said she, “is this dreaded interview over? How has she taken it?”
“The
interview,” replied Mr. Willoughby, “has been even more dreadful than I had
imagined it to myself.”
“Oh!
then mildness and indifference have at length given way?” said Lady Charlotte,
with triumph in her tone.
“There
was no indifference; and the mildness was unblemished,” said Mr. Willoughby.
“Where
then was the terror of the interview?” said Lady Charlotte; “reasonable as she
is, she must have seen that you could do nothing but go to town; and my offer
of remaining here
must convince her that you went there only on account of business.”
“She
thought she might go with me,” said Mr. Willoughby.
“For
what to do?” said Lady Charlotte.
“To
watch over me; to watch for me; to save me from destruction;” said Mr.
Willoughby.
“From
whence are you threatened with destruction?” said Lady Charlotte.
“Not
assuredly from the quarter that she suspects,” returned he; “but she has told
me such truths, that she has convinced me that I am a villain, or on the point
of becoming one; and if it were not for the discretion of
my fair friend here (taking Lady Charlotte’s hand), perhaps I could not do
better than grant one of the requests that she has made me; and either take her
with me to town, or remain with her in the country.”
“And if you will take my advice,” said Lady Charlotte, withdrawing her hand disdainfully, “you will do the latter; if our friendship is to be subject to such hot and cold fits, be assured that I will break this heart to atoms, before I shall longer own you for its master. Well then, you stay?”
“No,
I go! and I go with you; for, as we had foreseen, there is no wish to detain
you here. I go too with her permission.”
“Oh,
Heavens!” cried Lady Charlotte, “the difference between duty and love! Had I
her rights in you, would I part from you? No! I would hang upon you, not to be
shaken off. I would manacle you. You might kill me, but we would not part.
Willoughby, she does not love you: I do. I give you all I can give you without degradation; I ask
but your friendship in return; and you insult me with a visible preference for
the cold-hearted wisdom—yes, for once I will speak out—the cold-hearted wisdom
of the woman whose legal property you are! You tell me you are a villain! What
is it but to tell me that I make you so? And yet, but for me, you would indeed
have been a villain.”
“For
heaven’s sake,” said Mr. Willoughby, “between us two let there be peace. In
vain do we each of us struggle with our chains; we cannot break them. Nor ought
you to be jealous of the poor justice that my understanding yields to the
merits of a woman who deserves better at my hands, than any other should be
preferred one moment before her.”
“Give
her, then, her desert,” said Lady Charlotte, with the fire darting from her
eyes; “and leave that heart to break which never beat for any one but you?”
“Torture
me not!” cried Mr. Willoughby. “You know your power; use it for my happiness,
and not for my misery. You know I cannot exist without your acknowledged love:
why then is it only to make itself known in reproaches and upbraidings?”
“Forgive
me! oh, forgive me!” said Lady Charlotte, in a tone of deprecation the most
tender and affectionate. “I am a wretch! and may it not be allowed the wretched
sometimes to complain? Your friendship is my all; and is it a crime to agonize
under the apprehension of losing it?”
“You
can never lose it,” said Mr. Willoughby. “Has it not stood out against your
severity, and against the hopelessness to which you have doomed me? and can you
fear that your kindness will not always have power to retain it?”
Lady
Charlotte certainly at this moment did fear it. There was a calmness in Mr.
Willoughby’s asseverations; a distinctness in his reproaches; there was a
regulated tone in his professions of attachment, unlike the voice of passion to
which she had been accustomed from his lips. She had not now to repress his
ardours: she found that she was weighed in the balance, and she dreaded lest he
might discover that his happiness was in the opposite scale.
“Oh! pardon! pardon!” cried she. “Forgive the doubts of conscious
worthlessness. It seems as if your preferring love was a prize too high for
qualities like mine. All that I have to give is love.”
“And
in that do you not give all?” said he. “Oh! my Charlotte, do not believe me
insensible to goodness, to charms such as yours! For once let me fold you to my
heart, and let its throbbings tell you that it can own no other mistress.”
“Let
this single folly be the seal of our reconciliation,” said Lady Charlotte,
gently, and without any reproof, withdrawing herself from his embrace; “and let
us never repeat it. It is time we parted; we shall have eyes upon us; there is
a spy in every servant in
this house. I long to get out of it.”
“Go,
then,” said he, kissing her hand again and again, “go; and eternal blessings
attend you!”
“Yes,
I am a villain!” said he, as she closed the door, “and I do rush upon
destruction! Oh! Isabella, your prayers are in vain!”
And
with this comfortable reflection Mr. Willoughby went to give some necessary
orders previous to his departure; and in this diversion of his thoughts lost
for some minutes the sense alike of his guilt and his wretchedness.
CHAP.
XLII.
“Fierce Repentance rears
Her snaky crest: a quick
returning pang
Shoots through the conscious
heart.”
THOMSON.
THE
suspension was but momentary; and, in hopes of some mitigation of his
self-reproach, he sought Isabella. He found her in her nursery, apparently
occupied wholly with her boy; but in her face were such marks of mortal anguish
as plainly shewed that her thoughts were not confined to that dear object of
her care, whose returned good looks, and joyous spirits, left no cause for pain
or fear on his account.
Mr.
Willoughby took him into his arms; caressed
him; played with him; talked of his quick return to health, of the needless
alarm that they had given themselves; “and so,” said he, “my dear Isabella will
pass away all your fears. I will take as good care of myself as you will of our dear boy, and we shall meet
to thank each other.”
Isabella
was not obliged to reply to this; it was said in a moment when the child’s
attendant was not within hearing, and the next she was again in waiting to resume
her charge when called upon. Mr. Willoughby putting the boy into her arms,
invited Isabella to walk.
“You
have not been in the air to day, my
love,” said he; “let us go towards the water, I want to consult you about some
trifling alterations; the superintendence of the work will be an occupation,
and an amusement for you in my absence.”
Isabella
prepared herself to comply; but with a passive sadness wholly unlike her usual
alacrity, when called upon to share in any pursuits of Mr. Willoughby’s.
She felt,
indeed, such a dread of any renewal of a conversation like what had passed
between them before that morning, that had she followed the impulse of her
inclination, she would have avoided being again alone with Mr. Willoughby.
It
was not, however, his intention to enter afresh upon the subject; but to act,
as if having sufficiently re-assured her, there was no cause for uneasiness on
her part; and that the few hours they were still to pass together might be
passed in the
unimportant, but familiar communication of a husband and wife arranging to
their mutual satisfaction any trifle that engaged their attention at the
moment.
In
this spirit, having drawn her arm under his, he walked with her through the
wild paths and secluded spots which formed the pleasure ground of
Eagle’s Crag; commenting upon their beauties, pointing out the good taste of
their former possessors, and suggesting such little emendations as a lapse of
time had made desirable.
It
was difficult for a mind as full of sorrow, and as devoid of hope as Isabella’s
was at this time, to attend to such discourse. Every word he uttered presented
a future which she felt would never come; yet was she afraid to utter a
syllable that might betray what she felt. She had failed in persuading him to
that wholesome distrust of himself which would have led to safety; but to
irritate him by discovering her hopelessness that he would do right, could only have hastened and
consummated the evil which she dreaded.
She
could only repeat again and again, that she would attend to his directions;
that she would think of the alterations which he suggested; would balance the
alternatives that he left for her consideration, and agree with him that it
would “be pleasant to have some object in her walks; that it would “do her good
to be much in the air,” and that “a detail of how all went on would be a
pleasant subject for their correspondence.” But so heavily did her mind weigh
upon her bodily powers, that every step she took seemed ten; she was rather
supported by Mr. Willoughby, than held up by any exertion of her own; and her
feet dragged so slowly that at length Mr. Willoughby could not help saying,
“you seem tired; are you ill?” “No, not ill,” said Isabella, “but inactive; and
if you have said all that you
wish to say, I should be glad to go in, and lie down till dinner-time.”
“Oh,
Isabella,” said Mr. Willoughby, “why will you thus destroy yourself? why will
you doubt me, only to make yourself wretched?”
“Stay
with me, or suffer me to go with you!” exclaimed Isabella, making what she
thought her last effort, “and every doubt will vanish.”
“Why
do you give such a test as you know I cannot comply with?” returned Mr.
Willoughby. “Isabella, this is not like yourself, whom hitherto I have always
found so reasonable, so persuadable.”
“Oh
were it my own happiness alone that was at stake,” cried Isabella, “you would
find me persuadable still! but I cannot consent, I cannot give my sanction to
what I know will be your ruin.”
“Your
suspicions are injurious to me, to more than me,” said Mr. Willoughby,
“and if you would not have me leave you in anger you must at least conceal
them.”
“I
have done!” said Isabella; “let us go into the house.”
As
she said these words, she sunk from his arm, and must have fallen to the ground
had he not caught her; and clasping her fondly to him, he exclaimed,
“My
dearest creature, forgive my harshness! how could I be such a brute!”
“Never,
never before,” said Isabella, in an agony, “did you threaten me with your
anger!”
“And
never, never can you experience it!” cried he; “but I am a creature of
imperfections; unworthy, wholly unworthy, of being linked with such sweetness;
but, my dearest love, you have spoiled me; such has been your indulgence to all
my follies, that I cannot bear the shadow of injustice from you; and indeed now
you wrong me.”
“You
never shall have injustice from me,” said Isabella, in a voice scarcely to be
heard; and as she said these words they entered the house.
Mr.
Willoughby, seating Isabella, said everything that he could think of to compose
her, or that could give her confidence in him; and certainly, at the moment, he
meant to be sincere; and such was the appearance of his being so, that
Isabella, in spite of her reason, felt something like hope revive in her heart:
and she promising that she would do all that she could to be easy, he conducted
her to the door of her apartment and left her there, to take that repose of
which she stood so much in want.
But
repose visits not the wretched. Isabella could stretch her weary limbs upon the
sopha, and press her throbbing head against its cushion, but the aching heart
felt no relief.
“Leave
you in anger!” were the only words that sounded in her ears: and that he was to
leave her accompanied by her worst enemy, the only thought that remained on her
mind.
In
vain she attempted to reason herself into a less acute sense of what she was,
and what she feared she must be. Unable to succeed, she gave way to a
restlessness that would have made the softest down a bed of iron; and finding
her present situation insupportable, she arose, and sought in active occupation
to get more quickly through a period, every passing moment of which she knew
must be misery to her.
The exertion served but to increase the irritation
of her spirits, and when she appeared at dinner her raised colour, and the
ardent brilliancy of her eye, might have misled any but her present observers to
have believed her not only happy, but joyous. But they could not be
deceived. Her motion was hurried, her voice quick, her hands tremulous, and the
palpitation of her bosom betrayed itself through the foldings of her garment.
Lady Charlotte looked at her, and wondered. Mr.
Willoughby regarded her, and trembled.
By a manner the most quiet, by accents of the most even
tone, by a gentle but not too marked attention, he strove to restore some
degree of composure to the agitated frame of Isabella: nor was he wholly
unsuccessful. The colour faded from her cheek; the eye lost its brightness; and
the voice resumed its usual sound. He carefully avoided any allusion to the
separation that was to take place the next day; and Lady Charlotte, who
dreaded, from the state in which she saw Isabella, some sudden and violent
explosion of her feelings, so skilfully aided the design of Mr. Willoughby,
that the emotion of Isabella subsided by degrees; and so settled a sadness took
possession of her features, as bespoke a mind more disposed to suffer than to
resent. Lady Charlotte could desire nothing better: it was the very degree and
kind of misery that she could revel in, without fear of its excess recoiling
upon herself: but it was not so with Mr. Willoughby.
Relieved from the apprehension of what might be the
immediate effect of the disorder in which she had appeared, his heart was but
the more painfully oppressed by the settled grief for which it had been
exchanged; and no longer dreading the consequences of any revulsion of feeling
which his most undisguised interest in what
affected her might occasion, he openly dedicated himself to her
for the remainder of the evening. Under the appearance of necessary
communication previous to his departure, he conversed almost exclusively with
her; but yet, as before friends who would excuse a temporary neglect from the
knowledge of the cause, he conversed in his usual pitch of voice, without
mystery, or any apparent desire to be more private.
Under the same pretence, he put no interval between the
withdrawal of the ladies from the dining-room and his rejoining them; but when
he arose to open the door upon their retiring, he said, “Come, I might as well
go with you: we can’t afford to lose half-hours now. Dunstan, you will join us
when you choose.” And so saying, he accompanied them into the library.
Isabella penetrated his motive for this little deviation
from usual form. She felt that what he did was to shelter from a tęte-ŕ-tęte
with Lady Charlotte, and a grateful sense of so considerate a kindness brought
tears of tenderness to her eyes. She could not forbear to press his hand, as if
to thank him; and had they been alone, she might at this instant have
acknowledged that her suspicions had wronged him.
By this kind of management the evening passed away with less pain and embarrassment than could have been hoped; and certainly not with less satisfaction to Isabella, from a restless kind of uneasiness apparent in Lady Charlotte, which seemed to betray a fear that her victim might yet escape her.
True,
however, to the plan which she had laid down for herself, Lady Charlotte, when
the moment of separation for the night came, assumed all her wonted kindness
and familiarity towards Isabella.
“My
sweet friend, farewell! we must be early stirrers; but you must not arouse
yourself from your downy couch, to attend at our breakfast; we will make our
adieus now; and pray accept my thanks for all the pleasures that your stately
castle has afforded us, and receive my best wishes, that it may ever be to you
the abode of peace, of love, and happiness,—farewell!” said she, with an action
as if she would have embraced Isabella. Isabella stepped back; “farewell!” said
she, and then again approaching her, as she was herself about to quit the room;
she said in an under voice, “take care! you may consummate my misery, but your
own perdition will be the consequence!” and she passed on, without even casting an eye upon Lady Charlotte, to see
what effect the denunciation had produced.
Nor
would it have soothed the throbbing anxiety of her heart, or gratified a single
feeling, had she seen the colourless lip, quivering with rage and fear; or
witnessed the contracted hand, which seemed to mould itself into the form of
immediate vengeance—she was gone! and Lady Charlotte had just so much self
command left, as to enable her to smooth her features and to follow her,
without having suffered the secret of the offence that she had received to
escape her.
But
Isabella had a much more severe farewell to make; she had willingly consented
not to leave her chamber until the travelling party should be gone; being
convinced that she could not have witnessed the departure of Mr. Willoughby and
Lady Charlotte in the same carriage, without an emotion that must have betrayed
the inmost recesses of her thoughts. In the hopes that she might a little veil
also, even from Mr. Willoughby, a distress that she knew would be offensive to
him, and for the manifestation of which he had threatened so severe a return,
she was resolved not to arise from her bed; and she flattered herself that the
wish which Mr. Willoughby must naturally be supposed to have not to provoke any outward marks of a grief which he
was resolved not to remove, would facilitate her task of bidding him farewell
with tolerable composure.
But
Mr. Willoughby was on this occasion under the controul even of a more powerful
sensation than the desire of eluding temporary embarrassment. His whole soul
was in tumults; torn at once by self-reproach, by a guilty passion, by the
tenderest pity, and even by the purest love for the unfortunate Isabella, he
strove to persuade himself that the step which he was about to take was
necessary; that it led to no evil consequences; that it would enable him so to
settle his pecuniary difficulties as to place it in his power to return to his
home, to his child, and to his wife! and then, thought he, I will wholly break
my connexion with Lady Charlotte,
innocent as it is. I will settle here. We shall meet no more, and the mild
virtues of my Isabella will efface the ravage that this insensate and cruel
passion has made in my mind. It was his hope that he might leave Isabella under
the conviction that such were his purposes, and that a very short time would
restore him to her, to remain with her for life; and he thought that he could
make this so plain, that he might have the consolation of leaving her in full
reliance on his integrity, and in all the cheerfulness of hope.
But
what had appeared so convincing to his own understanding, when he came to
represent it to Isabella, struck him instantly as inadequate to impose upon
hers. The weight of his argument lay in his resolution to abandon Lady
Charlotte; and this he could neither bring forward without acknowledging an
interest between them, which he had so strenuously disavowed; or if he could,
was it possible for him to hope that Isabella would rely upon a justice in future
which was denied to her at present? He gave up then the hope of satisfying her
reason, but he yielded to the indulgence of his present feelings by
overwhelming her with the tenderest caresses.
Again
and again he gave her the parting embrace, the parting kiss! reiterated his
charge that she would write to him; that she would take care of herself. But
all was uttered in monosyllables, or broken sentences. He talked not, as the
day before, of alterations, of occupation, of amusement in his absence. There were
no words but “Our boy!”—“Your precious health!”—“Do not doubt
me!”—“Farewell!”—“I must be gone!”—“Not yet!”—“Not yet!”—And again and again a
return from the already opened door.
The
miserable Isabella could only utter, “Oh, Willoughby, you deceive yourself!”—“You
go to ruin!”—“Oh! stay!”—“Yet, even yet, it is not too late!”—“Oh! take me with
you!”—But the final farewell was at last pronounced, and he rushed hastily from
the room, as if to deprive himself of the very power of return.
CHAP.
XLIII.
“I have seen her sometimes
in a calm
So desolate, that the most
clamorous grief
Had nought to envy her
within.”
BYRON.
ISABELLA,
exhausted, sunk motionless upon her pillow; and remained almost without
consciousness, until the “stealthy pace” of cautious respect approached her
bed. It was Mrs. Evans with coffee in her hand.
“I
thought, madam, that you would want some breakfast; and perhaps you may fall
asleep afterwards, having been disturbed so early.”
Isabella
looked up on her humble friend; and a consciousness that she was an object of
compassion, and a sense of the kindness which pity had engendered, melted her
into tears; when she could speak, “sit down, Evans,” said she, “and give me the
coffee; as you have brought it, I will try to take some.”
“And perhaps
eat a morsel of dry toast, madam,” said Evans.
“Yes,”
said Isabella, “you make dry toast better than any body. I am sure you made
this; and I think I could never forbear to eat what you made. It is very good
indeed!” said she, eating a small piece, and then, drinking a cup of coffee,
“Evans you are an excellent nurse; draw my curtains, and I will try to sleep
for half an hour; but tell Williams to come to me the moment I ring.”
Isabella
well knew that it was impossible she should sleep; but she could not refuse to
Evans the pleasure of believing that her good and kind management had had its
full effect; and she sent away the worthy creature with all the consolation
which the lively interest she took in the sorrows of her young mistress so well
deserved.
Isabella,
however, found her bed insupportably irksome; and being in some degree
renovated by the refreshment that she had taken, she arose; and feeling an
almost invincible repugnance to undergoing the horrors of the solitary day that
was before her, she waited not until she was dressed, before she wrote the
following note to Mr. Parr.
“I am
again alone. Pray let me see you, and my dear Catherine. We shall not meet as
we parted; I cannot hope that your sagacity should be at a loss for the cause;
but I know I may depend upon the rectitude of your feeling not to press for a
confidence that could tell you nothing; and which it would be unbecoming
in me to make. Were there any thing to be done, whose advice would I seek
sooner than yours? but to suffer is a lesson I must learn from a higher source
than that of any human intellect.”
Mr.
Parr and his daughter obeyed this melancholy summons, if not with pleasure,
with the readiest promptitude. Mr. Parr was too well acquainted with the
characters of those with whom Isabella had lately been compelled to associate, to have entertained a
hope that her happiness would be augmented by such an exchange from her former
solitude; and, secluded even as he was from general intercourse, he had not
escaped from hearing such observations, or from such relation of facts, as had
prepared him to find her really unhappy.
But
he was not prepared for the ravages that the emotions of the two preceding days had made in her
countenance; and he absolutely started when, upon entering the well-known
library, he found her colourless as the garment in which she was wrapt; and saw
that as she rose to receive him her whole frame trembled, and that the voice
with which she would have greeted him, died inaudibly on her lips.
What
a difference in her appearance from when they last met! she was then radiant
with joy and hope: every pulse beating with the fond belief of being the
cherished object of a husband’s kindest affections! — now he saw her pale with
sorrow; drooping
under the conviction of the neglect, the unfaithfulness of that beloved
husband, whom no coldness, no wrongs could dislodge from her heart.
The
fervent Catherine ran to embrace her friend, and burst into tears as she cast
her arms around her.
“I do
not wonder that you have suffered much from the alarm that the illness of your
dear boy has occasioned you,” said Mr. Parr; “but Hawkins assures me that he is
quite well, and that there is no danger of a recurrence of the disorder.”
Isabella
pressed the hand of Mr. Parr, in token of her gratitude for so delicate a proof
that he would understand nothing more of the nature of her sufferings, than
what she could unreluctantly avow.
“We
must resume all our studies,” said Isabella, with a smile as faint as the sun beam of a December’s day. “My dear Catherine,
you will find me I fear a sad truant; while you, I dare say, have made a full
use of the interval of our separation.”
Mr.
Parr and Catherine fell easily into the mode that Isabella seemed to mark out
for their intercourse; and without any reference to what might be supposed to
have passed at Eagle’s Crag since last they visited there, they re-commenced
the occupations and amusements which had usually filled up their time before
that interruption of their pursuits, which had ended with such a death blow to
the happiness of Isabella.
But
although she had thus endeavoured to ward off the destructive effects which she
had so justly feared, both for her constitution and her intellects, if she had
been left to solitude, and to the tyranny of her own thoughts; she by no means
hoped, or even intended, had it been possible, wholly to abstract herself from
a sense of the situation in which she was placed. She knew that at present she
could only be passive; but she was not unaware that the time was probably not
far distant, when she would be called upon to act.
During
Mr. Willoughby’s residence at Eagle’s Crag she had communicated little with
Lady Rachel; she had nothing to relate from which she had derived pleasure, or
from which she could hope that Lady Rachel would receive a more favourable
impression of Mr. Willoughby’s character than what she usually professed to
entertain. Her letters had therefore been short, and unfrequent; and she easily
perceived by Lady Rachel’s answers that she did not disapprove of this reserve,
but reserve was now at an end. Mr. Willoughby had gone away with Lady
Charlotte, and had left her in solitude and wretchedness. What more could
Isabella reveal of turpitude on his part, which he had not himself published to
the world? But she was not without a hope that she might lighten the colours in
which she knew he must appear to Lady Rachel, by relating the many acts of
kindness, and expressions of affection, which he had so strangely mingled with
his unshakable determination to desert her. She could also detail the little of
reason which he had brought forward to justify such a step; and she endeavoured
to persuade herself that Lady Rachel, from a more extended knowledge of his pecuniary difficulties than she had been able to extract from him, might
find more weight in such
arguments than she had done. She had besides to lay the whole of her own
conduct, through
the intricate path which she had been treading, before Lady Rachel; and, above
all, it was through Lady Rachel alone that she could expect to be truly
informed of the real state of facts, and learn whether she had any thing to
hope, or what more she had to suffer.
Urgent
as were all the considerations that prompted her to write to Lady Rachel, yet
Isabella was several days before she could sufficiently arrange her thoughts,
or command her fingers steady enough to accomplish her purpose. She made
frequent attempts; but the tone either of complaint or anger prevailed, as she thought, more than
it ought, and she again postponed the letter till she could better satisfy
herself with the feelings that she had to express.
At
length she sent the following epistle to Lady Rachel:
“I
know, my ever honoured Lady Rachel, that you disdain the weakness which leads
the affections to
apologize for failings which the reason condemns; but your candour withholds
you from giving judgment until the whole of the case is before you. You will
not therefore be one of the censurers of my dear Mr. Willoughby, even for a
conduct the publicity of which leaves no doubt of what he has done,
until you can more fully understand why he has done it.
“I am
willing to persuade myself, that were I able to lay before you his reasons for
neither remaining with me here, nor suffering me to go to town with him, they
would be of sufficient weight to remove all imputation of wilful unkindness, or
premeditated injury. But he has not thought it expedient to open himself to me
on those difficulties in his pecuniary affairs, on which he grounded the manner
of proceeding which must expose him to so much (I would fain hope) unjust
censure. If the kindest expressions, and marks of the most sincere attachment,
may be allowed as evidences of
his feelings, he did not quit me with less reluctance than I parted from him;
and perhaps it is the weakness of my own mind that incapacitates me from
feeling that confidence in his asseverations of love, and his professed purpose
of a speedy return, not again to separate, which the solemnity and earnestness
of them seem to demand: and I am the more inclined to believe this to be the
case, because I have an indubitable proof, that a connexion, which I
acknowledge reflects dishonour on both parties, has not been carried to the length that the indiscretion
of their manners might give hasty judges reason to believe.
“I
have had my difficulties: and I must of course have many misgivings that I have
not acted as well as I ought to have done. The most consoling test that I can
think of is, the wish that I so earnestly feel, that you could have been
witness to every word and thought that this cruel subject has given rise to on
my side.
“You
may, perhaps, be told, that it was offered, to break my solitude by the society
of her whom I have the most reason to dread and to disapprove, of any human creature whatever. This is
true: and although I can account to myself why I asked permission to refuse
this offer, I doubt whether it may not appear to others, that it would have
been more discreet to have sacrificed my feelings, and my dignity, to have
separated two persons, although but for the shortest time, whom it is so much
my interest to keep apart for ever.
“I
hope it is not an undue partiality to my own decision which leads me to believe
that this will not be your opinion.
“I
had made my suspicions apparent; I had even avowed them: what intercourse could
have been maintained between us that would not have degraded me, and sanctioned
the ill which I deprecated? I did not dare to do evil that good might come;
could I even have hoped that so crooked a path would have led to good.
“My
guardianship having been refused where it was due, and where it might have been
useful, I believed that all farther consideration was narrowed to the respect
that I owed to
myself.
“I
wished it to appear that I was not a dupe, lest my affected blindness should
betray others into a security too likely to be not less injurious to them than
to me: and it is most probable that had I determined otherwise, the disgrace on
my part would have been incurred without producing the effect for which I had
submitted to it. The husband’s impatience to return to “the haunts of men,”
would at any time have been a sufficient pretence for the wife’s deserting the
post which she affected to be willing to hold only in compassion to me.
“Such
were my reasons for what I did. It will be a consolation if they form towards
you my apology.
“Nor
am I alone: Mr. Parr and his daughter are with me; and from them I shall
receive all the human support that I can want here. From the intelligence that
you shall send me, my dear Lady Rachel, I look for that information which must
regulate my future conduct; and from your affection, all the assistance that
can be given on this side of heaven, to maintain me in the path which it shall
be my duty to tread.
“My
boy has been alarmingly ill: he is now well; and I am told that I need not fear
for the future. Can you doubt but that on this subject my heart is very
sensible to joy and thankfulness? My dear, my ever honoured, my inexpressibly
kind friend, farewell!”
The
effort that Isabella had thus made to suppress nothing of the truth, while she
kept back from the view of Lady Rachel the ravaging effects which such a state
of things had had upon her mind, had in fact more disordered her frame, than if
she had given a free vent to the sorrows that oppressed her. As she proceeded
in her task, her
head and heart seemed bursting with constrained passion, and when she had
finished a detail which seemed the result of the calmest reason, and the most
subdued feelings, she doubted whether her heart would not break, or her
intellect desert her!
The soothings of the affectionate
Catherine, who, alarmed by her longer than usual abstraction from her friends,
had come to seek her in her own apartment, made the tears flow, and gave her
the relief which she
so much wanted: and when the powers of reflection returned, she could confess
to herself, that the sense of having been able to discharge so trying a duty
with so much magnanimity towards others,
and with so little advertence to self, was a blessing not to be purchased at
too high a price. Such consciousness spread over her countenance a gentle beam
of inward peace, that in part restored her features to their natural
expression, and imparted a consolation to her two faithful friends, which the
severe sympathy that her sorrows had wrought in their hearts made no more than
necessary.
CHAP.
XLIV.
“We pray for all that
Fortune can impart,
Yet in her smiles our surest
rain find;
Grief is the fire that
purifies the heart,
And frees from earthly dross
th’ immortal mind.”
GALLY
KNIGHT.
AND well it was, that the spirit had in its
meekness so much strength, for every coming hour brought fresh assaults to
prove it.
There
wanted not real, although ill-judging friends; nor yet light tattlers, who
seemed emulous who should be foremost in revealing to Isabella the injuries
that she was sustaining.
In
the varied form of compassion, of advice, of inuendo, there was laid before her
a scene of gambling the most
ruinous; of the violation of obligations the most sacred; of the forgetfulness
of duties the most imperative! She was stimulated by the sarcasm of derision,
to remain no longer insensible and inactive; and she was exhorted to take her
destiny into her own hand, and to escape with her boy from the destruction
which it would not be in her power to avert. Such was particularly the language
of her mother and sisters: not without a reproach from the former, that she was
answerable for all
that had ensued from her haughty rejection of Lady Charlotte for her companion
in the absence of Mr. Willoughby.
“No
body doubts the guilt of their connexion,” wrote Lady Jane; “but as she still
remains with her husband, she keeps her station in good company; why then
fastidiously reject an arrangement which would have saved appearances to the
world, and given Mr.
Willoughby a motive for a speedy return into Westmoreland? — a return which
would have obviated the most calamitous part of this mischief—a course of play
that can only end in his own ruin, and that of yourself and your child.”
There
was not a fibre in the heart of Isabella responsive to such a note of worldly
and unprincipled reasoning, and she felt it as an aggravation of the most heavy
of her griefs that she should be obliged to hear it from a parent!
The
taunts, the reproaches, the scriptural quotations, and the advices of Mrs. Nesbitt, none of which were spared
upon this occasion, passed by her as empty wind; and to the grovelling and
humiliating counsels of Lady Jane she opposed the more pure and lofty spirit of
Lady Rachel, which supported her in an
elevation of mind, as far removed from the meanness of pride as it was from the
falsely calculating spirit which forgets, in the fleeting moments of time, the
interests of eternity. By her precepts her eye had learnt to penetrate the dark
clouds of mortality, and to fix its visions on the brightness of immortal
bliss.
Of
all the motives for consolation, or the suggestions for conduct that Isabella
received from her real or affected friends at this disastrous period, Lady
Rachel alone was able to communicate the one, or to direct the other.
Thus
she wrote:
“DEAREST CHILD,
“Your
afflictions are severe and piercing; it is the will of God! how you shall bear
them must be your own. The responsibility is an awful one; and it is as
difficult to discharge, as it is awful. For the one right path, there are many wrong ones; and they will present
themselves to you under very seducing appearances, and with very high sounding
names. Be it your part to reduce them to the nakedness of truth, and the
simplicity of virtue.
“There
is nothing prudent, that is not true; nor dignified that is not honest; you
have already acted upon this principle, and have thereby given a guarantee that
no mistaken consideration for self, nor weak indulgence to others, shall ever
betray you into a compromise with vice and folly. Bind yourself with bands of
iron to that main pillar of righteousness, ‘not to do evil that good may come.’
This once shaken, the whole fabric of virtue and religion is levelled with the
ground, and is dispersed as the light particles of the sandy desert!
“But,
dearest child! I bless God that you stand more in need of consolation than of
advice: it is sorrow, not sin that you have to grapple with. Keep the one afar
from you, and the other must fade
away into the fruition of everlasting happiness! You will say, and ‘only into everlasting happiness? have I
nothing to hope on this side the grave?’ Far be it from me to encourage the
rebellion of despair. Shall not he ‘who forms the light, and creates darkness,’
be able to say to the tormentors of this world, ‘Peace! be still!’ to take the
sting from the serpent, and the poison from the adder? but come not forth on
your journey with the scanty provision that is dependent on the supplies that
you may meet with in the way; the manna may
drop in the wilderness; but the land of milk and honey is beyond the waters of Jordan.
“Of
your unhappy husband I can tell you nothing that you ought to hear. Yet I
believe with you that he is more a dupe than a villain. His evil genius
maintains her innocence stoutly; and has even the effrontery to talk of her
friendship for you, and of the sacrifices that she was willing to make for your
sake. And she had her hearers, and her believers. Yet she disdains to disavow,
almost to her husband’s face, the holy
attachment that subsists between herself and the unhappy victim of her
machinations. In all this there is neither the devotedness of love nor the
headlong impulse of passion: there is in it more of the cold calculation of
malice than either; and malice is the ruling passion of her soul. Yet the
infatuated Willoughby sees nothing but the most unspotted purity, and the most
disinterested affection. The world, with very few exceptions, gives her credit
for neither. Yet, as I have said, she has her partizans; and you have your
censurers. Your friend Mrs. Nesbitt is the bitterest among them; for which, I
doubt not, she can find scriptural authority.
“The
guilty pair are almost constantly together; and at this moment you cannot throw
yourself between them with any prospect but that of perishing in the act. He
calls her ‘his guide,’ his ‘polar star;’ and he even dares to foretell the hour
when you will own
your obligations to her.
“You
will believe that I had chased him from my presence, e’er he could finish such
a sentence, and that my doors are shut against them. Let not this concern you;
every drop of the polluted blood that circulates in his veins must be wrung out
before he can be restored to a healthy state. It is by the knife and the
caustic that he can alone be saved; emollients and lenitives would be used in
vain!
“God
support you until the final hour of trial, and through it! It will not be long of coming; there is plan and purpose
even in what your enemy wishes to be considered only as the aberrations of
vehement affection. It is not enough for her to rob you of your husband’s love,
except she may involve you in her own disgrace; nor is her passion so
ungoverned as to carry her off with a ruined man, who cannot repay the
sacrifices she makes him, even with the poor offering of his name and hand. Yet
she is playing a desperate game; she will not be long able to retain her place
in her husband’s house; already they live the lives of fiends; and when once
this last hold upon society is gone, she must either throw herself into the
power of Willoughby, or return to her family; and if ever she re-enter her
father’s doors, he will break all connexion between them, or he will break her
heart. If it were not for that worldly, temporizing Lady Stanton, matters would
have come to extremities before now.
“She
sooths and flatters the tradesman Dunstan, who values the cajoleries of a
Countess above his wife’s chastity, and suffers himself to appear to be
persuaded that there is nothing ‘but the ways of the world,’ and ‘the graces of
fashionable life,’ in all that her worthy daughter does; and there is no want
of examples by which to uphold the doctrine. But although fashion, like
charity, may cover a multitude of sins, it cannot soften the asperities of
temper; and the daughter does more in a quarter of an hour to deprive herself
of her last asylum from the world’s scorn, than the mother can accomplish in a
week towards re-establishing her firmly in it.
“Thus
you see, my child, that all things tend to the catastrophe. Arouse every energy
of your mind to abide the result. Whatever occurs, you and your dear boy shall
never suffer the slightest pecuniary evil. I know how light you feel such
apprehensions for yourself; and at this moment you advert, perhaps, but little
to them even on his account; but the time will come when you will rejoice to
feel that your child is not a beggar; and that your own merits have preserved
him from being so.
“Your
ardent young friend, Burghley, visits me often. His first visit seemed to be
made with fear and trembling. I know I have an ill name amongst the feeble of
soul, who cannot bear the sound of truth, but he is not one of those; and I
have ‘so calmed the terrors of my claws,’ that he now runs in and out as if he
were one of
my household.
“I
saw from the first that his motive for visiting me was kindness to you; and,
without intending it, he disclosed so much of what had been passing at Eagle’s
Crag, that I saw you, as although I had been there, in all your bright
intelligence, enthroned above the cloudy atmosphere which lay at your feet.
Preserve your pre-eminence I implore you! not merely that I may love you, as I
never loved but one other human creature — that would be a trifle — but that
the excellence which is so cheering on earth may shine forth in glory
inexpressible to all eternity! Child of my renovated affections, God bless
you!”
Stimulating
as was the view that Lady Rachel presented to the intellectual and moral
feelings of Isabella, of the duties that she had to perform, and the high
destiny to which she was called, it was insufficient to arrest the corroding
tooth of sorrow which preyed too visibly on the health of its victim. The
energies of the mind wore out the body, and not all the kind soothings of her
two inestimable friends, nor the vigorous efforts with which she endeavoured to
sustain herself, could much longer have supported her under the excruciating
suspense, and the agonising irritation to which she was doomed. She prayed for
some crisis; some consummation that would cut off hope for ever, or restore her
to an agency, where the misery, however overwhelming to herself, might be
useful to the being whom she so ardently loved!
CHAP.
XLV.
“Away! I’ll teach your
differences. Away! away!
If you will measure your
lubber’s length,
Turn: —but away! —go to!
—have you wisdom?
So! —”
SHAKSPEARE.
A
PERFECT confidence was at this time established between her and Mr. Parr; but
it was the confidence of intuition. No circumstances had been required by Mr.
Parr, nor had any been detailed by Isabella.
Mr.
Parr had seen the heart, breaking under the weight of uncommunicated sorrow;
and assuming the right, with the tenderness of a parent, had spoken and acted
as although no reserve had been
between them. Isabella felt that concealment was no longer possible, nor
available to any good. It was a relief to have no part to act, no appearance to
keep up. It was some consolation to weep in the presence of a friend; or silently
to put into his hand the letters which she received, while she withdrew to
torture herself in solitude, by ruminating on their contents; assured that on
her return to society she should meet the eye of pity, and should hear the
voice of wisdom and affection.
Yet a
longer interval of solitude was at times necessary to her; and it had become
her habit to wander about some part of every morning by herself, while Mr. Parr
was gone home for a few hours, and while Catherine, at the request of her
friend, found an occupation for herself.
At
this part of the day her mind was less agitated than at any other; the
irritation produced by the information brought by the post of the evening
before was in some degree quieted, and the feverish expectation of what the
next might produce was not risen to its highest point. In these rambles she
would visit every place where she had ever been with Mr. Willoughby; and,
strange as it may seem, the little building where she had overheard his
conversation with Lady Charlotte, had for her a peculiar attraction. It is true
that she never entered it without shuddering; but in her present circumstances
there was a degree of balm in recalling to her mind the respect, the
compassion, with which, even to her rival, he had spoken of her; in repeating
to herself the very words he had used; in dwelling upon every syllable that
told of his attachment to his boy, of his self-accusation, of his remorse, and
even of his wretchedness. Well she knew that it was only through the gates of misery
that he could return to the path of virtue; and she sought to strengthen her
mind to bear his sufferings, by
the remembrance of how they had been incurred, and from what they were to
redeem him.
It
was now that the storm which had so long threatened seemed to be bursting over
her head. Her last letters from town seemed to shut the door upon hope; and
Isabella had one morning withdrawn to her usual place of resort, with the
disspiriting conviction that in all probability she should enter it no more.
Here,
as she sat absorbed in the saddest of thoughts, the innermost door of the
little apartment opened, and Sir Charles Seymour stood before her!
She
started from her seat, at so unexpected an apparition, but not from any
apprehension for herself; she viewed him only as the messenger of ill tidings
from her husband.
“Oh!
tell me, tell me all!” cried she.
“I am prepared for all! —I can bear all! —it will not kill me!” said she; and
sunk almost lifeless on the seat from whence she had risen.
“Most
admirable, most injured of thy sex!” said Sir Charles. “Would to God I had
died, rather than had such a tale to tell! I need not appeal to you how
zealously I have laboured to avert such a catastrophe; you have seen it; you
have deigned, in the delicacy and wisdom of silence, I allow — but you have
deigned not to leave me ignorant that you approved and that you thanked me for
my friendship. For myself I could not ask for more; I did not deserve so much;
for I have failed to preserve you! — Willoughby has consummated his folly! He
has ruined himself, his child, — he has, — oh! blindness, infatuation beyond
belief! —he has ruined you!
“Oh! my beloved creature,” cried he,
as seating himself by her, he put one arm round her waist, as if to support her sinking
frame, “in what other circumstances than the present should I dare to avow a
passion that I had resolved to carry to my grave in silence and despair! but
now, now, when you are alone in the world! unsupported! —abandoned! —beggared!
shall I be restrained by mere forms, from offering you my protection! — from
laying my fortune and my love at your feet! Oh! do not look so wildly, so
angrily! — do not struggle from the arm that shall be used only to defend you!”
“Let
me go! — hold me not, basest of men!” cried the panting, struggling Isabella.
“I will be at liberty!” and with one
effort she pushed him from her, and rushing to the door, she thought herself
free; but Sir Charles’s more powerful motion prevented her, and, interposing
between her and the door,
“My
beloved creature,” said he, “why this alarm? By all that is sacred, you have no
cause for apprehension. I am, I must
be the creature of your will. But you shall
hear me. Fondly as I doat upon you, as assuredly as all my hopes of future
happiness hang on this moment, yet could you see my heart, you would see that I
could disappoint this fondness, abjure these hopes, were it only a selfish good
that I sought; but it is your
happiness, your security, your redemption from sorrows as great as undeserved,
that I have in view. Oh!
how deeply do I lament that these ends cannot be obtained by means more
accordant to the delicacy of your wishes! But yet hear me, — hear with
patience; —hear me with that unprejudiced reason which is as much your
distinction as your beauty or your virtue. If the most respectful, the purest,
the most ardent affection can recommend me to your favour, you need not
hesitate to grant it me. I ask you to be my wife. I ask you to suffer me to
become the protector of your child, the restorer of his ruined fortunes. The
ties that shall bind us to each other will be from the first sacred in the eyes
of God; they shall be made so in those of men from the first instant that by
the absurd laws of this country it will be possible to make them so. Can the
circumstance of being born on one side or the other of an imaginary line,
mislead your good sense to believe that
to be wrong as an English woman which
you would know to be right as a
Scotch woman? The laws of that well-judging country would give you a legal redress
for the injuries inflicted upon you; and you would then have only known me in
the light which would have reflected so much honour upon me, as the warmest,
the most devoted lover, and the truest friend, that ever woman had. And shall
you be afraid to take your cause into your own hand? Shall words startle you?
If I cannot now save your and
your child from beggary and misery without some apparent wound to your
delicacy, be assured that you cannot more deeply lament the necessity of that
wound than I do myself. But are you in a situation to stand upon punctilio? Am
I to look coolly on and witness your destruction, lest I should shock a feeling
founded alone in prejudice, and disavowed by reason? Allow me to accompany you,
even this very hour, from this hated place. Everything is prepared for your
evasion; and when I have once seen you in security, I will not again appear
before you, until I can present to you a legal obligation which shall secure to your boy, if not an equivalent for what his
father has so basely robbed him of, at least such a provision as will secure
him a station in the world worthy of the mother from whence he sprung.”
It
was with repeated interruptions, with struggling, and resentment, that Isabella
had been obliged to suffer Sir Charles to speak thus far; but at this moment,
bursting from him, she cried, “stand off! must I hear such profanation?
forbear! let me be gone!”
“Never, till you are calmer—never till you are in a state better to understand your own happiness,” said Sir
Charles. “Lady Charlotte is with your husband. His only alternative to a jail,
is banishment for the rest of his life from the country that gave him birth.
And will you cling to such a man? As well might you refuse to quit the sinking vessel when the fury of
the ocean pours over her. And must your boy share your destruction? and for
what? a word? a name? Loveliest of creatures, see me thus lowly bent before you, in earnest supplication
that you will save yourself, and bless me. I offer you rank—fortune. You despise
them all. And well you may despise them: they are no purchase for merit such as
yours. But I offer you a heart, which beats but for you, and which will cease
to beat if you reject it, and in whose devotion I dare aver that you will find
happiness.”
“In vain,
in vain,” cried Isabella, endeavouring to disengage her hands from his grasp,
“do you attempt to move me; to hear you is a crime! let me go!” said she,
stamping with her foot; “or I will call for assistance, and expose you to all
the obloquy and contempt that you deserve.”
“Of
what are you afraid?” cried he. “Your destiny is in your own hands. Only
promise that you will reflect upon what I have said; that you will allow me
again to see you. Tell me that you will pardon me the agitation I have caused you;
that you do justice to the sincerity, the honesty of my offers, and I will let
you go: for I am assured that in a calmer moment you will at least acquit me of
any wilful offence.”
“I
will never pardon,” said Isabella; “I will promise nothing. And go, Sir, I will, in spite of you—this moment will I
go.”
“Nor this, nor the next,” said he. “I must not, I will not be baffled.”
The
piercing shriek of Isabella, the bursting open of the door, and the appearance
of Mr. Parr, were the events of a single moment. Equally simultaneous were Sir
Charles’s relaxed grasp of Isabella, and Mr. Parr’s vigorous seizure of Sir
Charles.
“Again
have we met? And again is it my fate to chastise thy baseness?” exclaimed Mr.
Parr. “Thank the principle that withholds me from striking thee to my foot,
never to rise again. Go, thou betrayer of innocence! thou insulter of virtue,
go! and hide thy infamy in some corner of the earth, where thy name shall never
be heard more!”
And
thus saying, and at the same time violently shaking the trembling culprit, with
one powerful swing he flung him from him, accompanying the action with a spurn
of his foot, which, although it touched not the person of Sir Charles, reached
his pride, and caused him to turn back, foaming with rage, and vociferating
vengeance.
“Approach
not!” said Mr. Parr, raising with his strenuous arm the ponderous walking-stick
which he held in his hand. “You know
the vigor of this arm. Approach not, lest I forget every consideration, but the duty to inflict a
punishment so justly your due, and fell you to the ground. Begone! and carry
with you your disgraceful secret. I have before allowed you time for
repentance, in vain as it
seems. Abuse not my mercy a second time.”
“You
shall hear from me; be assured, you shall hear from me!” cried Sir Charles, in
a voice almost choked with rage.
“In
any form you please,” returned Mr. Parr, with the utmost contempt. “But begone!
— begone this instant! Away!” and he repeated the words, while he watched the
retreating steps of Sir Charles till he could see him no more.
Then
hastily turning round toward the miserable Isabella, he beheld her stretched
senseless and breathless at his feet.
A gushing rivulet that fell
into a basin at the door of the secluded place where they were, furnished him
with the immediate means of recalling the apparent corpse to life; and, raising
her gently in his arms, he laid her on the matted seat which half surrounded
the room; then kneeling by her, “my dear child,” said he, “take courage; your
audacious insulter is gone, never to return. You are safe. Be composed.”
“Safe! Oh! what is my
safety?” cried the grateful Isabella. “You
are in danger, and in danger for me!”
“In danger!—in danger from
such a reptile as that?” cried Mr.
Parr. “This arm could chastise an army of such guilt-shaken creatures! The
slightest breath can quiver them! Waste not a thought upon the wretch. My will
controls his fate. It has done so before time; it will ever do so; for well he
knows I can tell a tale that would chase him from society with burning shame
and infamy.”
“Oh! who could have
believed, —who could have thought there was such a man!” said Isabella.
“Think of him no more,” said
Mr. Parr. “With whatever design he came here, it is frustrated. You will never
see him more.”
“He tells me,” said
Isabella, in accents scarcely articulate, “he tells me that I am undone; that
treachery and guilt are consummated! Oh! why stayed I here? — why did I not
rush between them? Had I perished in the attempt, what then? — I had perished
in an act of duty.”
“And your boy?” said Mr.
Parr.
“My boy! my fatherless boy!”
cried Isabella, in a tone of wild distraction, “O merciful God let me but
preserve my senses! my boy! oh let him not be bereaved of both his parents in
one hour! was not such a loss fatal to his father?”
“Then live for his sake,”
replied Mr. Parr; “desert not yourself, and God will not desert you.”
“Oh, I have struggled, I
have wrestled with my calamities! but now!”
“Now,” said Mr. Parr, “is
the time to struggle, to wrestle more; do not believe that you are hopeless;
take not your fate from one habituated to falsehood; the moment for action is
come; arouse yourself to act, and doubt not but you will be blessed.”
“Oh, my more than parent!”
said Isabella; “but for you —
“I am but the appointed agent,”
said Mr. Parr; “look higher, and your fears and doubts will fade away, like
darkness before the rising
sun. But your mortal part is exhausted. You must be conveyed to the house. I
fear you cannot walk; and I am unwilling to leave you.”
“Oh! leave me not!” said
Isabella; “perhaps my limbs may support me.” But the effort to rise overcame
her, and she sunk back again on the matting.
Fortunately the anxious
Catherine, who had sought her friend in every other place of her usual resort,
appeared at this time at the door of the room, and furnished at once the means
of communication, and the assistance necessary to transport Isabella to the
house with ease and safety. Mr. Parr charged himself with the superintendance
of the whole management, and took the principal part in its execution.
Under such kind guardianship
Isabella was removed with so little exertion, that her exhausted frame did not
suffer; and the happiness of finding herself once more under her own roof in
safety, and surrounded by friends emulous who should most contribute to her
ease and comfort, assisted so powerfully the efforts that she herself made to
compose her distracted thoughts, that Mr. Parr had soon the satisfaction of
seeing her capable of receiving consolation, and of attending to reason. In
this comparative repose we will leave her, to look after those who well
deserved to “sleep no more.”
CHAP.
XLVI.
“I can give no reason, nor I
will not,
More than a lodged hate, and
certain loathing
I bear Antonia, that I
follow thus
A losing suit against him.”
SHAKSPEARE.
THE
crisis that Lady Rachel had foretold had taken place. Mr. Dunstan and Lady
Charlotte had separated. In vain were all the emollients applied by Lady
Stanton: the asperities of Lady Charlotte’s temper had made their way through
them all.
Boastful
of her self-called virtue, she disdained to disguise either her connexion with Mr. Willoughby, or the hatred and contempt with
which she regarded her husband.
They
met but to quarrel; they parted but to study new methods how best to provoke
and irritate each other.
Mr.
Dunstan was authoritative — Lady Charlotte insolent. Mr. Dunstan forbad her to
receive Mr. Willoughby’s visits: Lady Charlotte told Mr. Dunstan that the house
was as much hers as his, and that she would receive whom she chose. Mr. Dunstan
swore he would shut his doors against her. Lady Charlotte replied that she
would sue him for a separate maintenance. Mr. Dunstan threatened her with a
divorce: Lady Charlotte defied him. Mr. Dunstan locked her up in her apartment,
and Lady Charlotte disappeared, taking with her her personal attendant, and no
track where she was gone could be traced.
It
was at this period that the unhappy Willoughby, urged by the accumulating
difficulties of his situation, had had recourse to the desperate expedient of
the gaming-table, as the only immediate means in his power to free himself from
the incessant harassing attendant upon every transaction of a necessitous man.
The expedient had failed; and he too had disappeared from the haunts of society.
No one doubted but that they were together. But it was not so that Lady
Charlotte meant to play her game.
The
place of concealment to which Mr. Willoughby had withdrawn had been concerted
with her; and she had prepared it so apart from all his usual haunts, and so
cut off from all the knowledge of all with whom he had to do in every rank of
life, that he was as effectually concealed in the midst of the city of London
as if he had been consigned to the grave.
Mr.
Willoughby had no farther design in this seclusion than to gain time and
leisure finally to determine how he should arrange his affairs, and then to
quit the kingdom for ever.
In
this moment of bitter reflection, the virtues of Isabella and the claims of his
child seized upon his heart with irresistible force, and reduced the power of
Lady Charlotte to the mild influence of a friend; a dear, an inexpressibly dear
friend: but such an one as he wished not to make partaker in his disgrace, or
to be involved in his distress.
The
anguish that he felt from a sense of the bitter sorrows that he knew he must
have brought upon Isabella, was as a warning voice not to reduce Lady Charlotte
to the same condition; and the upbraidings of his conscience for what was past,
goaded him to make all the reparation in his power, by assigning to his wife
and child as ample a provision for the future as his limited means would allow;
and by leaving Lady Charlotte as fully as he could, in possession of that fair
fame, which she so loudly asserted belonged by right to the pure and
disinterested affection that subsisted between them. He had earnestly entreated
her to remain under the protection of her husband, or to separate from him with
the sanction of her friends, and to return to her father’s house.
Nothing,
however, could be farther from Lady Charlotte’s intention than to take such
salutary advice; but it was her purpose to have continued with Mr. Dunstan
until she could ascertain what power the knowledge of Mr. Willoughby’s ruin,
and his supposed connexion with her, would give Sir Charles Seymour over the
mind of Isabella. Judging of Isabella by herself, Lady Charlotte could scarcely
limit this power to any degree short of so absolute a subjection of Isabella’s
resolutions to the tempting offers of protection and adoration which Sir
Charles was so prepared to make her, as would ruin her reputation and destroy
her peace of mind for ever. Lady Charlotte might then be the wife of Mr.
Willoughby; and by persuading him to sell the whole of his landed property, a
measure to which she was every day artfully leading him, they might still be in
possession of means amply sufficient for any gratification of life in the
foreign lands where they were henceforth to reside. Her triumph would thus be complete! and revenge and passion be alike
satiated! Violence of temper had, however, been too powerful for deliberate
malice.
The
explosion with Mr. Dunstan had been produced, not by any premeditated scheme on
her part, but by one of those ungovernable gusts of fury that had so often counteracted
the cooler enormities of Lady Charlotte, but which she also seldom failed to
turn to her own advantage by her after-management.
No
sooner did she find herself, by her own intemperance, excluded from her
husband’s house, and thrown under the unpitying observation of the world, than
she resolved to seize that instant to accomplish her triumph over Isabella, and
to consummate her revenge on the guilty Willoughby.
By
closely concealing herself at the very period when Mr. Willoughby disappeared,
she foresaw that it would be concluded that they were together; and she
calculated that Isabella’s despair and indignation, on so decisive and so galling a proof of the injuries that were done
her, would make her an easy prey to the arts of Sir Charles Seymour. To him
alone she communicated the place of her retreat, and demanded to see him.
“Now,”
cried she, the instant he appeared, “the moment of my triumph approaches! I
deliver into your hands the destiny of Isabella Hastings! I have broken with my
tyrant; —the world thinks me a disgraced fugitive at the mercy of her wretched
husband. But I have taken effectual means to retain in my own hand the
necessary proofs of his and my innocence, to be produced when such proofs will
avail me; and these means I will not let go till I have attained the object of all my machinations. Do you your part. Disgrace my
rival in the face of the world! — burst asunder the ties that bind her to her
husband; and when his hand is again in his own power I shall not scruple to
make it mine, by the very means which, if you are not a greater bungler than I
take you for, you may make effectual to obtain possession of your deified
darling.”
“Doubt
not my courage, my adroitness, or my success,” returned Sir Charles. “I will
die but I will obtain her; you have heard me rave at her disdain, her cruelty;
you have heard me curse her infatuated attachment to her faithless husband; you
have heard me vow revenge! but if I can once make her mine, her will shall be
my law—her wish my religion! by every oath that ever lover swore or broke, I
mean honestly by her. I would that she could be mine without tasting disgrace
by the way; of dishonour she never can: the deed will be justified by the
necessity, and I do not despair but that I may convince her reason, and touch
her heart.”
“Win
your laurels before you wear them!” said Lady Charlotte, with a smile of
contempt, “and win them your own way. It is indifferent to me whether you
convince her reason, touch her heart, or force her will; let her be disgraced; I care not whether she is
dishonoured or not. My heart will never be at rest till I have brought down her
proud humility, which made her despise me so meekly. Never can I make her
suffer what she has made me endure! the sleepless nights, the restless days that I underwent, when
first I saw myself supplanted by such a puppet! I can never forget, I will
never forgive! I have sworn that I will never forgive Willoughby either;
perhaps I never shall. My love may be transitory; I am sure my hate will be
immortal. At times I think I hate him even now. Most assuredly I often rejoice
in his torture, and I exult in the misery that I
have in store for him. Deeply is he in my debt, and many must be the hours of
anguish that I must make him suffer before we are quits! Oh, how I shall gloat
over his distorted features when I tell him that his Isabella, his goddess of
chastity, is in the arms of another! How often has he dared to insult me with
his idiot commendations of her purity, her virtue, her constancy to him! He has
had the presumption to tell me that she deserves better at his hands, than that any other woman should be preferred
before her! Yes, I have heard him say it! and I did not stab him to the heart!
but the stab is coming! my triumph will be full, and so shall my revenge be
satisfied; for yet, I cannot exist without him! for him I forego all the gauds
of life! I bind my fate to his broken fortunes! with him I will quit my
country, my station, the all, that
once made life desirable! oh this is madness! but there is joy in being mad,
which none but madmen know!”
“And
well do you deserve to know it,” said Sir Charles laughing; “for who so mad as
you? But is it possible that you really mean to starve with Willoughby in
foreign lands? with only half a reputation, and in possession of scarcely half
a heart? I know Willoughby well; there is no answering madness in his character
that can meet the glorious soarings which distinguish yours. His hate is not immortal; and his soft
spirit will be so shaken by remorse and sorrow, that he will have no whole
heart to give.”
“I
charge you,” cried Lady Charlotte, vehemently, “if you do not mean to make me
mad in earnest, not to hint the possibility that I am not sole and absolute
monarch over the soul of Willoughby; did I think otherways—— but I know I am;
and I will prove it by the uncontrolled power that I shall from this hour
exercise over him; Isabella’s star is set, and I reign the sovereign luminary.
The magic charm of her imaginary virtues, like the crystal castle in the fairy
tales, has at times intervened between us, but you will dash it into atoms, and
I shall enter in triumph.”
“It
will be but a starving triumph,” returned Sir Charles.
“We
shall not starve,” replied Lady Charlotte, “although others may. I am the grand
financier, as well as sovereign over the heart. There is yet enough to be saved
from the wreck of his misused fortunes to
make us affluent in those wiser countries where all is given to individual
gratification, and nothing to that of others. I am sick of the shews of life:
of living to vanity rather than to pleasure. Henceforth my vanity shall be to be the happiest of my sex, in spite of all
the musty moral-mongers in the world, with their formal saws of ‘virtue is its
own reward’—‘oh! the sweet peace of conscience!’ — and thus prosing seek to
cheat us of the sweetest moments of this life, by holding out the unknown joys
of another. But leave me; and let me next hear of you as the master of the fate of Isabella Hastings, or
let me not hear of you again.”
“That
woman,” thought Sir Charles, as he withdrew, “is a devil! but she is a clever
and a beauteous devil! and, in spite of the injury that I am about to do him, I envy Willoughby almost
as much as I pity him.”
It
was under the influence of passions only in a degree less diabolical than those
which actuated Lady Charlotte, that Sir Charles repaired with all speed to the
precincts of Eagle’s Crag. There, in close concealment, he watched the habits
of Isabella, and soon became acquainted with all her daily haunts. No time was
to be lost; and the morning of his so sudden and unexpected appearance all was
in readiness to have carried her off with him, could he have determined her, by
the first impulse of her grief and resentment, to have put herself under his
protection; or if this had not been the case, and had he seen any hope of
future yielding, his purpose was openly to visit her, and to undermine her integrity by his
sophistry: but when he found that she would not listen to him for one moment;
that her whole
soul swelled with indignation and abhorrence, that she did not even fear him;
and that by the mere vigor of her resolution, and the dignity of her virtue,
she was about to escape from his hands, his senses became maddened, and every consideration of tenderness
and pity gave way before the fear of losing his victim, and of returning
unmasked, baffled, and despised, to encounter the scorn and fury of Lady
Charlotte.
But
the snarer was caught in his own toils, and the violence by which he thought to
have secured his prize, was the very cause of that providential interposition
of Mr. Parr, which drew on the disclosure, the disappointment, and the contempt
that he so much dreaded.
CHAP.
XLVII.
“My shame and guilt confound
me;
——————— If heart’s sorrow
Be a sufficient ransom for
offence,
I tender’t here.” SHAKSPEARE.
NOR
did the consequence of his defeat rest with himself. Secure in his anticipated
success, and eager to taste of those diabolical pleasures which she believed
that she had prepared so securely for herself, Lady Charlotte ventured to
unfold her part of the plot.
Since
she had quitted her husband’s house, she had hitherto had no personal
intercourse with Mr. Willoughby; all their communication had been by letters; but now, at whatever hazard, she was
compelled to see him, if she would effectually convey the poison to his heart
which was to be
his destruction.
She
resolved therefore to visit him; and she appeared before him, unannounced, and
unexpected. At the sight of a form, radiant at once with the most dazzling
beauty, and the expression of the most ardent affection, the miserable
Willoughby started from his reverie of despondency and self-condemnation, and
flew to embrace his lovely friend; exclaiming, “this is kind!” but Lady Charlotte
waved him off.
“Willoughby,”
she said, “you see how much I dare for you. At this period, when all my hopes
of future happiness depend upon being able to prove that since I have left what
the world in its wisdom pleases to call my lawful protector, we have been
strangers to each other; I put all to hazard, to soften, since I cannot avert,
your sufferings. But trespass not on my indulgence: remember we are yet no more than friends.”
“Do
me not the injustice to think,” returned he, “that I am capable of abusing so
much goodness: that in this my hour of degradation I can ever wish for more than friendship; but, in
the gloom that surrounds me, your presence is as light and life: without your
support, without your counsel, I am nothing. Do not despise me when I tell you
that I have not had power; that I have not had courage, to make that communication which ought not to have been
one moment delayed; and which, if it is anticipated by malice, or by kindness,
will brand me not only as the most imprudent, but as the most hard hearted of human creatures.”
“The
communication,” returned Lady Charlotte, “is become unnecessary.”
“Unnecessary!”
repeated Mr. Willoughby; “does she know that I have ruined her? that I have
despoiled my boy of his inheritance?”
“Willoughby,”
replied Lady Charlotte, “look at me, and read in my face that which I have no
power to tell.”
“Merciful
Heaven!” exclaimed Mr. Willoughby; “is she dead? then what am I? what ought I
to be?”
“She
is not dead!” said Lady Charlotte.
“My
son! my child! have I lost him? Oh well do I deserve such a stroke of
chastisement!” said Mr. Willoughby.
“Your
son lives—is well!” replied Lady Charlotte.
“What
then is it that you have to tell me?” said the terrified Willoughby. “Surely my
baseness has not driven reason from her seat? I have not quenched an intellect
which illuminated all it touched upon?”
“Too
confiding Willoughby!” returned Lady Charlotte. “Are death and madness the only
evils that can befal a
wife? how has your confidence been abused!”
“My
confidence abused!” cried Mr. Willoughby; “you cannot—dare not. The voice of
calumny itself will not presume to breathe a whisper against her honour!”
“Willoughby,”
said Lady Charlotte, “am I a calumniator? I never thought to have heard such
words from you! but, at this moment, I can pardon your injustice. Mrs.
Willoughby has put herself under the protection of Sir Charles Seymour.”
“It
is impossible!” said Mr. Willoughby; “you have been imposed upon. I will stake
my life on her purity—her virtue.”
“They
are not worth the hazard,” replied Lady Charlotte; “but since you believe me
wicked enough to invent, or fool enough to be imposed upon by such a falsehood,
I have done; and may now leave you; until by some you can better trust you are
awakened from your false security.”
“Oh,
leave me not!” said he; “forgive me: without the most damning proof I could not
believe such a tale from the mouth of an angel.”
“Then
wait till you have such proof,” said Lady Charlotte, with the bitterest scorn
in her accent; “it will not be long first.”
“Tell
me, I conjure you, tell me,” said he, “from whom you heard this tale of
impossible infamy: which but to credit for an instant would make virtue but a
name, and truth a bye-word of derision.”
“Was
Mrs. Willoughby,” said Lady Charlotte, “the only immaculate? Were all purity,
all honour confined to her bosom; that if she fail, truth, honour, and virtue,
must be extinct? I might have hoped that you
had known at least one other woman
better.”
“If
she be false,” returned Mr. Willoughby, “no woman is true! There was a dignity
in her purity; a simplicity in her virtue; a gentleness in her affection, that
could not be counterfeit. My very frown
would have killed her. In every action, word, and thought, there was a graceful
decency, that threw such a sanctity about her, as must have repulsed the most
licentious, and awed the most audacious.”
“Your
frown would have killed her!” repeated Lady Charlotte, disdainfully; “she has
out-lived your desertion. Dream on! — and awake not till the appalling voice of
public scorn shall sound the note of degradation in your ears.”
“You
do not yourself believe the opprobrious story?” said Mr. Willoughby, sternly.
“I
would to God I did not!” said Lady Charlotte; “since you take it so much to
heart. I did not think it would so much have touched you, or the evil should
have told itself when it was felt; but I had flattered myself that, oppressive
as it is, it would not have been without one
consolation.”
“Tell
me upon what evidence you believe it?” said Mr. Willoughby, “that my heart may
be lightened from suspicion, or broken by grief.”
“I
could not have believed that the falsehood of a woman whom you never loved,
could have broken your heart!” said Lady Charlotte.
“Whom
I never loved!” repeated Mr. Willoughby; “Oh I have loved her! and I might
never have loved another, had not ——” he suddenly stopped.
“I
understand you,” replied Lady Charlotte, “had not I intervened! I thank you for
the reproach; but no! — cold-hearted as you are, you never loved! you know not
how to love. Love has a quicker sight; and had you loved, you might early have
seen what might have saved you now from an incredulity worthy to be laughed
at.”
“What
is it that you mean?” said Mr. Willoughby; “what
could I have seen?”
“That
which I saw,” said Lady Charlotte; “and which I saw because I loved. The attack
on the vanity; the yielding weakness; the capitulating indulgence; the
established intercourse; the appointed rendezvous” —
“The
appointed rendezvous!” broke in Mr. Willoughby, “you must not tell me so; there
never was
such a thing.”
“True,
indeed, that I must not tell you so!”
replied Lady Charlotte, “or I could
have told you of the motive of the retreat into Westmoreland; the meeting on
the road ——”
“She
told me herself,” interrupted Mr. Willoughby.
“No doubt,” replied Lady
Charlotte; “but did she tell you of the private visitations? the tęte-ŕ-tęte walks? the holy friendship that subsisted between
this votary of solitude, and her congenial soul?
“It is calumny all!” replied Mr. Willoughby. “There is not a servant in
her household that will not bear witness to the propriety, the exemplariness of
her conduct.”
“Have you consulted Adams on
that point?” said Lady Charlotte, “her favourite attendant, whom she dismissed
so suddenly. Did she ever assign a reason for such a dismission?”
Mr. Willoughby changed
countenance. “Do you know that Adams has ever dared to breathe a word against
the faithfulness of my — my wife!” said he in a tone of the extremest anguish.
“Question her, and not me,” said Lady Charlotte;
“but whence had her seducer so intimate a knowledge of all the haunts around
Eagle’s Crag, which you mentioned to me yourself with surprise, more than once
or twice? Yet he acted the stranger well, when he so adroitly fastened himself
upon you, on your so long delayed, and so little wished for return; but
probably at the moment not unexpected, as might be guessed by the readiness and
order in
which, to your astonishment, you found every thing that could be wished or
wanted. What think you of the mysterious tale of the red stag? the sudden
departure when he had engaged to remain? What were her motives for driving from her house, in company of her
husband, the very woman to whose charge she laid the neglect and the falsehood of that husband? But why do I recapitulate such by-gone follies?
ask for your wife, and the voice of multitudes will tell you that she is with
Sir Charles Seymour; that she has accepted his protection for herself, and her
child; and that she justifies her conduct by your desertion, and the ruin that
you have brought on both.”
The wretched Willoughby, now
overcome by the effrontery and vehemence of the accusation, rather than by any
weight of evidence that had been produced, uttered the groan of agony, and
covering his face with his hands, sunk his head on the table before him.
“Willoughby, my dear
Willoughby!” said the infernal Lady Charlotte, approaching him, and laying her
hand with fondness on his shoulder, “for my sake do thus not desert yourself. Is there no drop of sweetness
in the bitter cup? no after light breaking in upon you to dispel this present gloom?
“I had hoped that the rudest bursting of your chains would not
have taken from you all taste for liberty.”
“Liberty!” cried he, “what
liberty? would you have me give the woman whom I have betrayed to scorn and
ignominy? would you have me pursue with vengeance the victim of my own crime?
Oh, she was innocent as lovely! the
villain that has undone her was but the instrument in the hands of a greater
villain than himself. I have been her
seducer! I have been her betrayer! in
the moment when my neglect, my cruelty, the ruin that I had brought on her, and
on her child, had maddened her brain, not
corrupted her heart! in that moment, when the very fiends would have melted with
compassion, he, a tenfold devil, with unrelenting savageness has seized his
prey; but I will chase him from the earth but I will have ample vengeance.
Every drop of his corrupted blood will be but a poor atonement for the ruin of
my poor, injured, unhappy Isabella! Yet what have I to do with vengeance? I,
who am the just mark of every thunderbolt of heaven. Leave me, leave me, lest I
drag you also to destruction; leave me, I implore you.”
“Never, my beloved!” said
Lady Charlotte; “never will I leave you. Oh, do not thus abandon yourself, and
all will yet be well.”
“I have already abandoned
myself,” cried he, “too long abandoned all that made that self worthy of my
care. Oh, where are the days of youth? the visions of virtue and of happiness that once enlightened my path? that
one short twelvemonth past, I might have fixed for ever around me! fool!
insensate! that could not see what would have made my bliss; what might have
been my salvation!”
“And is this the return that
love such as mine, is to meet with?” said Lady Charlotte. “Am I to be
reproached? deserted? Oh Willoughby, but that I can allow for every thing in
this cruel moment, your words would rend my heart in twain; you would indeed
drag me to destruction; for I will not, cannot live without you. I cannot
survive the estrangement of your affection.”
“Seek not to plunge me
further into crime, I entreat you,” said he. “Am I not cursed enough already;
here our intercourse must end. What remains for me of life must be spent in
bitter anguish, remorse, and solitude. What could induce me to introduce you to
such associates? you have, I thank my God for it! you have been a faithful
guardian of your own honour: let me endeavour with tears of repentance to wash
away the stains that are upon mine. If there remain for me one thought that is
not misery, it must be that I have not your ruin to answer for; and this
thought will bring you to my memory with more true and honest gratitude, than
all the other obligations that I owe you.”
“Let me then share your
anguish, your remorse, your solitude;” cried Lady Charlotte, in the softest
accents of love. “I may also have wherewith to reproach myself; penitence may
become me as well as you; but I will expiate all my faults by an attachment, by
a devotion to the object of my love, that the world never yet saw equalled.”
“There was a time,” replied
the contrite Willoughby, “when words such as these would have sounded sweetly in my ears: but the delusion of passion is past, and truth
interprets them in a sense that startles conscience, and enforces repentance.”
“Am I awake?” cried Lady
Charlotte. “Am I in my senses? Is it you who speak, and is it I who hear?
Gracious God! that I should have lived to be reproached! to be rejected! to be
preached to! to be moralized upon! but it cannot be? my Willoughby cannot be so
altered? Oh, how bitterly have you regretted the barrier that was between us!
How fondly have I anticipated the possibility that it might sometime be
removed! how zealously have I preserved myself worthy of your regard! and
now!—now that we might be happy: when all our past sufferings, all our past
restraint might be done away, what puling, what morbid scruples, has your
sickly brain engendered to destroy the fair fabric of happiness that ardent
love and unrestrained freedom had combined to raise for us?”
“I have been a fool, and a
dupe,” replied Mr. Willoughby; “and I have wantonly trifled with the most
solemn obligations of life: but I have never denied, I have never doubted their
authority. I cannot be a deliberate villain! the remainder of my days, were
they to be stretched beyond the common date of mortality, would be too short to
atone for the mischiefs that I have thoughtlessly done to individuals and to
society: —mischief that I should but too probably have continued to do, had it
not been for the awakening blow that has fallen upon me. The severe reckoning
to which I am called for the injuries that I have inflicted on that innocent
creature, so peculiarly trusted to my care, cannot be settled but by a life
spent in endeavouring to repair the evils that I have done her. Henceforth it
shall be my occupation to watch over her; to mitigate her sorrows; for deep
will her sorrows be! to smooth the path to penitence and peace: and, although
my eyes must never behold her more, to exchange forgiveness; and mingle mutual
regrets. And blest shall I be,
if, ere the grave closes over me, I may hope that I have in part retraced my
erring steps, and expiated by the sincerity of my contrition, the evils that
cannot be undone.”
“Oh
the head-long zeal of new conversion!” cried Lady Charlotte; “if you ought to
do so much for your betrayer, what is due to her who would have been your
preserver? For you, I have quitted rank and fortune; soiled my reputation, and
abandoned my friends; for you I am
become an outcast from society! cheap sacrifices all, if I could have secured
your love, or soothed your sorrows! and am I now to be turned adrift with a few
moral sentences for my consolation? Willoughby beware! my soul is on fire:
dread the explosion!”
“I
never can forget the obligations that I owe you,” replied he; “I never can
cease to remember the distinction with which you have honoured me; but ——”
“Mean
spirited, cowardly Willoughby!” cried she, interrupting him; “thou hast dared
to commit the crime, and fearest to reap the fruit of it! You have broken the
lock, and dare not seize the treasure! ‘The distinction with which I have
honoured you!’ and is it thus that thou namest a love such as mine? base and
ungrateful! but farewell for ever! yet know that I triumph still! for thou art
miserable, and I am revenged!”
And
with these words she darted from the room, and left the astounded Willoughby the most
wretched of human creatures.
And
who shall pity him? Not she who has injured, but she whom he has injured would
be his comforter; but the hour of calm is not come: his wounds refuse to be
healed; and in the desperation of his sorrow, he is reckless what he is, and
what he shall become!
Yet
in the direful
variety of his distracted feelings, there was one master grief that held every
other in check. Isabella! the victim of his indifference and his indiscretion!
by him despoiled of fortune! of reputation! of virtue! the degraded mother of
his child! Could he think of her, and reason not be driven from her seat? Could
his heart feel for her injuries, and not break?
“It
cannot last!” said the tortured Willoughby, and resigned himself to his
sufferings!
CHAP.
XLVIII.
“Gone to be married: gone to
be friends!
False blood to false blood
join’d!”
SHAKSPEARE.
BUT
the resignation of Mr. Willoughby was despair; the resignation of Isabella was
obedience: as the source, so was the stream. While the one lay groaning on the
couch of agony, torn by remorse, racked by the unsatisfied wish for vengeance,
tormented by the cruel thought that he was triumphed over by her whose offered
love had betrayed him to his worst of ills, and unable even to give his better
purposes action; Isabella, meek, silent, submissive, looked only to the mercy
of her Creator for some mitigation of her inflictions, and asked only for light
how best to please him, and for power to perform the task he should assign her!
Nor
did she long wait before she found herself called upon, not only to suffer but
to act.
A
week had elapsed from the day on which Sir Charles Seymour had been chased,
with such deserved ignominy from the asylum of that virtue which he had sought
to wound. A week of bitter sorrow and racking suspense to Isabella! and she was
still uncertain of the fate that awaited her.
All
the information that the most assiduous affection, or the researches of the
most active curiosity had been able to collect, amounted to no more than that
Lady Charlotte and Mr. Willoughby had both disappeared from the world, and that
although no doubt was entertained of their being together, yet hitherto no
trace had been found by the friends or enemies of either party, by which the
place of retreat could be guessed at. It was conjectured that they were still
in England; but that their final purpose was to escape to the Continent as soon
as the vigilance and guard of Lady Charlotte’s family should become less alive, than in these first hours of resentment and
concern it could be.
Isabella
was inclined to believe that this
design was already accomplished; that the scene was already closed; and that
she had nothing further to hope or to fear. What was to become of herself she
was as little careful as he seemed to be to whose most solicitous protection
she had so sacred a claim. For her boy she still felt as a parent; but she
doubted not of the inviolability of Lady Rachel’s promise, that she would
protect and provide for him. In half-words she had repeatedly recommended him
to the maternal care of Catherine, who but too well understood the inference that
was to be drawn from such a transfer of duties, which had hitherto made the
first pleasure of life to her afflicted friend. A speedy end to all her
sufferings was indeed become the most earnest wish of the hopeless Isabella,
and her enfeebled health seemed to promise its gratification. But no impatience
attended this wish; it was in the true spirit of filial obedience that she
still said, “not my will, but thine be done.”
This
was the state of Isabella’s mind, when one evening she was aroused from the couch,
on which the
tender care of her friends had induced her to repose, by being informed that
Mr. Burghley was arrived at Eagle’s Crag, and that he asked permission to see
her. He had followed Roberts, to whom he had entrusted his message, so closely,
that, sure of being welcome, Isabella had scarcely given her eager assent than
he stood before her.
“Be
not alarmed; — I come from Lady Rachel Roper. The moment is now arrived for
which you have so long wished, — the moment when your interposition may save, may
restore your husband.”
“Save
him from what? from whom?” said Isabella.
“From
himself! He has now no other enemy,” said Mr. Burghley. Then glancing his eye
around, and becoming instantly scarlet as it rested for a moment on Catherine,
“I am sure I speak before friends,” said he; “have I not the honour to address
myself to Mr. Parr?”
“And
have not I the honour to recognize Mr. Burghley?” replied Mr. Parr. “But speak
what you have to say. Mrs. Willoughby is in agonies till she can understand
what has brought you here.”
“The
demolition of the baseless fabrick of vice and treachery,” returned Mr.
Burghley. “My dearest Mrs. Willoughby look up. Your wrongs are revenged. Your
virtues are acknowledged. Mr. Willoughby is no longer deceived. Lady Charlotte
has eloped with Sir Charles Seymour.”
“Merciful
God!” cried Isabella, “can I only be saved by fresh crimes?”
“It
is but the same net of wickedness that has been so long weaving to entrap you
and our poor Willoughby,” returned Mr. Burghley. “Let the workers be caught in
the work of their own hands; and may it be as the poisoned garment of Hercules
to them.”
“Mrs.
Willoughby seeks reconcilement, and not vengeance,” said Mr. Parr. “Pray tell
her what Lady Rachel wishes her to do.”
“Lady
Rachel wishes,” replied Mr. Burghley, “that Mrs. Willoughby would immediately
repair to town. She asks it of you, Sir, that you will be so kind as to
accompany her; and she requests the favour of this young lady,” blushing again
as he spoke, “who can only be Miss Parr, that she will undertake the
superintendance of Mrs. Willoughby’s little boy during his mother’s absence.”
“All
and everything shall be done that Lady Rachel suggests,” returned Mr. Parr. “My
dear Mrs. Willoughby, this excellent friend of yours thinks of everything, and
clears the road before you of every difficulty: but speak, I entreat you! let
us hear your voice! give vent to your full heart!”
And
it was not without reason that Mr. Parr urged this request: for, pale and
motionless, with her eyes fixed on vacancy, Isabella sat absorbed in the
deepest thought; or rather, without the power of thinking. So strange, so
horrible, did she feel the facts to be that Mr. Burghley had announced; and
when, starting at the sound of Mr. Parr’s voice, she turned towards him, her
look spoke so plainly the wandering of her mind, that Catherine, alarmed beyond
every other consideration for the welfare of her friend, flew to her, and
throwing her arms around her, “My Isabella! my friend!” cried she, “oh, speak!
oh, speak! I conjure you!”
“There
is strange wickedness in the world, Catherine!” said Isabella, laying her hand
calmly on that of her friend: “but you are not wicked.”
And
uttering an hysterical laugh, she fell back on the sofa.
All
were presently in motion; and Mrs. Evans being summoned to her lady, Isabella
was soon conveyed to her own apartment, and put to bed; Catherine taking her
place by its side.
The
two gentlemen being thus left alone, Mr. Burghley was at liberty to relate at
full length all that had reached the public ear, relative to the strange turn
that affairs had taken; but there were
gaps in the narrative which Mr.
Parr felt that he could have filled up better than any one else, if he had
thought proper to do so; and there were others that could not be supplied by
any conjecture that either he or Mr. Burghley could make. A revolution so
extraordinary, and an event so unlooked for, even by the parties most
immediately concerned, could indeed be only accounted for by the uncertainty
that must attend the course of those who embark on the sea of vice.
CHAP.
XLIX.
“What will not revenge
Descend to? revenge at first
thought sweet,
Bitter at length, back on
itself recoils!”
MILTON.
SIR
Charles had returned with all the speed he could make from Westmoreland to London,
crest fallen, indignant, breathing vengeance, yet knowing in his heart that he
should not dare to seek it; and most dreading to encounter the bitter taunts of
Lady Charlotte, and wholly unprepared to mitigate the rage which he knew that
her disappointment would excite. Yet every moment of delay in communicating the
failure of their plans must be a new offence to her, as being fraught with the
danger of unveiling her real character to the remaining victim of unrelenting
vindictiveness. It was impossible that he could, face to face, undergo the
humiliation of detailing his own shame, without some preparatory opening that
might allow of time for the ebullition of her fiery passions a little to have
spent itself before he exposed himself to its fury.
He
wrote her the following lines:
“I
have not succeeded; but I owe my disappointment neither to any want of address
in myself nor to the unyielding temper of the person with whom I had to do. Had
we been left alone to deal the matter between ourselves, I should have now been writing to you from Calais, and the
happiest of men; but in the very moment that I had seized my prey, there came
down upon me the evil genius of my life, the gigantic Parr! who with one
vigorous effort wrested the trembling lamb from the wolf, and with his sonorous
voice so made the neighbouring mountains to resound, that if I had not fled
from the place of combat, I had been thrown into the accursed lake that lies so
conveniently at the bottom of them.
“I
hasten to give you this information the first moment I can; as it may be
necessary that you should change your proceedings, and not trust to the ground
which has thus slipped from under your feet, and upon which you must not
attempt to tread any further. I hope you have betrayed no consciousness of what
you had so much reason to believe was so far advanced; if so, as to you no
great mischief is done. I see but one game that you have to play. Fortune may
yet stand your friend, and whether you change your name a little sooner or a
little later, should be, to a woman of your comprehensive mind, a matter of
little consequence. For myself, I shall keep snug; and I have no fear that
there will be more told than I wish to have revealed. There is a delicacy in that quarter resembling
Cćsar’s—and attempt there is considered almost as disgraceful as success,
with less bigoted people. Withal, pray remember that I am at your disposal, and
ready to confirm or deny, as far as a man of honour can, anything that you may
see expedient to have confirmed or denied.”
To
this note he received in answer only these words: “Come to me instantly.”
Sir
Charles obeyed the summons with fear and trembling; but the storm that he
expected to have been
poured on his head had taken another direction, and fell in all its violence on
the devoted Willoughby.
It
was no moment in which to reproach her ally for any failure of success, when by
the precipitancy of her own disclosures, and the intemperance of her passions,
she too had been driven from the field, baffled, despised, and rejected.
No
sooner had Lady Charlotte retired from Mr. Willoughby’s apartment to her own luring place, than the conviction, that in the
last words which she had uttered, she had laid open to him all the secrets of
her soul, struck upon her understanding, and she felt that she was undone.
Yet
too often had the weakness of her enemy replaced the sceptre in her hand, when
by the want of self-government she had suffered it to fall from her grasp, to
give her reason wholly to despair to being
able once more to resume her empire; she hastened to repair the
error if possible: her trusty emissary conveyed to Mr. Willoughby the following
palinode:
“I
told you that you were miserable, and that I was revenged: now I tell you that
I am miserable—good God, how miserable!—and that you are revenged. Dear object
of my distracted heart, forgive me! Too well thou knowest the violent workings
of that heart! but thou knowest also that it has not a pulse that beats not for
thee! how could you, my dearest, outrage its feelings by talking of
‘obligation?’—of the ‘honour of my distinction?’ Where has vanished our
identity? that oneness
which those who love can so well understand, and which those who love as I do,
can so little bear to have doubted.
“I do
not disavow the feeling which your cruel gratitude excited; but I do
most earnestly renounce the violence with which it was expressed; poor impotent
rage! which has turned in vengeance, as it was most right it should do, on
myself? Could you see my present state of desolation, even your cold heart
might pity me. But why
do I call you cold? alas, you can feel but too acutely, and I honour you for
the feelings which I have witnessed; I share them with you. Suffer me, I
beseech you, to sit by you—to watch you—to sooth you. As a friend I
claim this privilege. If you would not have my life to answer for, send me one
word of peace. Tell me that you forgive me; say, ‘dear Charlotte, come to me,
and comfort me!’
“You
may make the most wretched of her sex the most happy. You may; but no
one else can. Will you refuse to do so?”
Mr.
Willoughby returned this answer:
“I request, as the last favour I must ever receive at your hands, that we may henceforth be unknown to each other. I am unworthy of the love you profess for me. I can make no other return beyond the most ardent wishes for your well-being. The rest of my days is misery. But I would still fain believe that you will not rejoice in this misery; that you will not triumph in the wide-extended ruin that has followed our unfortunate connexion.”
What
became of Lady Charlotte, when she had read these words? She saw herself
unmasked! She felt annihilated! What was she? What was she to become? A
fugitive wife! A dishonoured female! Dishonoured for the man who disdained her;
who cast her off; who wished to see her no more! She was to bear the mark of
shame, without having received the wages of iniquity. Yet was there one state more than any other bitter to
her—all other evil appeared light when balanced with a return to her husband:
to humble herself before him, to submit herself to the common duties of life,
was worse than detection, abandonment, and ignominy. Yet how was she to avoid
such a humiliation? She had no means of support independent of Mr. Dunstan,
except by the assistance of her family; and to throw herself into their power
was to make her husband the arbitrator of
her fate.
Lady
Charlotte was debating the direful alternative of starving or submission, when
she received Sir Charles’s note: and she could scarcely have rejoiced more in
his success had she retained her power over Mr.
Willoughby, than she did at his failure now she had lost it. Her quick
apprehension caught in an instant all the circumstances of disgrace and danger
with which Sir Charles was environed. She felt assured that nothing could be
more acceptable to him than an immediate departure from England, in such
circumstances, and in such company, as would put suspicion at fault, and
confound persons and facts so effectually, as to make it almost impossible to
come at the truth. With him she had no points of delicacy to manage; he knew
her thoroughly; and a simple exposition of the state in which they both stood
she had no doubt would produce from Sir Charles an offer to unite their
interests and their fate. Yet the sacrifice of pride, and all that yet remained
to her of better feeling, was greater than what, in her first eagerness to
escape from greater mortification, she had supposed possible. Confident as she
felt when alone, yet the first moment that she met his eye, downcast and
conscious of defeat as she beheld it, was to her a terrible one. Her whole
frame shook with the violence and the variety of her passions. Her cheek was
pale, her lips quivered, and her bosom heaved; and Sir Charles, prepared as he
was for a scene of fury and of
terror, yet stood confounded by symptoms of a disorder even greater than he had
anticipated, and the nature of which he could not understand.
“You
are come,” said she, “to tell me that Isabella has triumphed. This I could have
believed possible: but I have to tell you that Willoughby has also triumphed;
and this I could not have believed possible. But he has triumphed by his
weakness, not by his strength. You knew the traitor better than I did, when you told me that in mere poorness of spirit
he would sink under remorse and sorrow. So he has sunk: and at the instant when I looked to have seen
his heart beat high
with love and rapture, he became a preaching anchoret! a whining penitent! He
thanked me for all favours passed,—wished me happy,—and bad me farewell, for
ever! Oh! that at that moment I had
stabbed him to the heart, and died in consummating my revenge!”
“What
is it that you tell me?” cried Sir Charles, astonished almost beyond the power
of understanding what he heard aright. “Is it possible! Have you and Willoughby
parted, and for ever?”
“For
ever shall it
be!” returned Lady Charlotte. “I hope you do not think so meanly of me, as to
believe I could ever again look upon the man who has once rejected me?”
“But
how, and why?” said Sir Charles.
“The
soft-souled creature,” replied Lady Charlotte, “could not survive the dishonour
of his precious wife.”
“Is
it possible,” said Sir Charles, “that you could thus sell the skin before you
had killed the bear.”
“Do
not you reproach me,” said Lady Charlotte: “you who alone have made that
false, which, had it been true, would have medicined every other evil. But look
to yourself. No sooner will he know how anticipation outran the deed, than he
will fall at the feet of his offended deity; implore her pardon; and the first
offerings by which she will be propitiated will be my disgrace and your
immolation.”
“Let
us, then,” cried Sir Charles, “join forces, and boldly stand upon our defence.
All retreat seems to be cut off. Even the doors of your domestic tyrant would
be hardly open to you. Defy him then at
once; and since fate has not permitted me to be the protector of Isabella
Willoughby, let it grant me the honour of protecting the lovely Charlotte, and
I shall not repine.”
“We
treat upon fair and equal terms, it must be confessed,” said Lady Charlotte.
“Neither of us can mistake the motives of the other for the compact we are
making; and if we should repent, we cannot complain of having been deceived. It
is most certain that I will rather die a wanderer in the streets, than return
under the roof of the man whom I despise and detest, and to whom I so madly
gave authority over me; and you will find a Dunstan easier to deal with than a
Willoughby.”
“I
fear neither of them,” replied the valiant Sir Charles; “but it would be cold
wandering in the streets; you had better be travelling in my carriage half over
Europe; and there are some passages in my life that I am too modest to wish
should be brought under publick discussion, and which my ill success in
Westmoreland may help to
bring to light. I shall not be sorry to put the worriers of my reputation on a
wrong scent. So that I do not see that we can do better than forget the
disappointments we have received from others, by each doing all in their power
to please the other.”
“But
my flight,” said Lady Charlotte, “will furnish means to regain my liberty. You
know my predilection for the married state: when I am free, will you marry me?
I yield upon no other terms.”
“By
this fair hand,” said Sir Charles, kissing it, “and by the honour of a
gentleman, I will.”
“Enough,”
said Lady Charlotte. “Should we be tired of each other, I will not prove
troublesome; and where there can be no treachery there ought to be no
resentment.”
“We
shall be the happiest of creatures,” said Sir Charles, “where love is liberty,
and nature law. Let us not delay to be so. I cannot be off too soon; and you
are not without your reasons for wishing yourself on the other side of the
channel.”
“Every
hour, till I am out of the reach of my husband and my father, is an age,”
replied Lady Charlotte. “Your absence from town can scarcely have been marked
by any one. It may be supposed that we have been together ever since I left my
prison. I shall be ready in an hour to accompany you to any sea port that you
may think best.”
The
decision was soon made; and in less than forty-eight hours Sir Charles and Lady
Charlotte were safely landed in France.
Such
were the real circumstances of a tale that was told in as many ways as there
were found persons to relate it; and which scandalized the serious, amazed the
light minded,
and surprised even the vicious; but which had the most powerful effects on the
minds of Isabella and Mr. Willoughby.
CHAP.
L.
“Oh, what can now console
him.”
GALLY KNIGHT.
WHEN
Mr. Willoughby withdrew from the world, Lady Charlotte was alone acquainted
with the place of his retreat. It had been provided for him by her means, and
it was only through her agency that he had purposed to hold any communication
beyond the walls that inclosed him.
It
has been seen that this seclusion was designed to continue only until Mr.
Willoughby could so far overcome the impression which the first consciousness
of the overwhelming ruin that he had brought upon himself, had made upon his mind,
as to enable him to make those arrangements which would give him the power to
offer the only amends that he had now to make to his injured wife and infant;
and to provide such a subsistence for himself, as would supply the necessaries
and the decencies of life on some foreign shore.
He
had not had
sufficient command over himself to have made one step in so necessary a
business, when the small remnant of peace and resolution, which the remorse for
his own follies had left him, was borne down by the torrent of misery and
self-condemnation that Lady Charlotte poured upon him with so unrelenting a
hand, in the treacherous falsehoods by which she stigmatised Isabella.
Previously
determined not to swell the sum of his offences farther, by involving Lady Charlotte
in his transgressions and his wretchedness, he entertained not a thought of
making her the companion of his flight; yet his heart clung to her as a
friend—as the only human being to whom he could look up for sympathy, or from
whose mouth he could hope to hear the accents of affection; and it might have
been, that pity for himself would alike have overcome his compassion for
another, and his sense of rectitude, even had Lady Charlotte continued in her
husband’s house. But her rupture with Mr. Dunstan had turned his consideration
for her reputation into a new channel. He now saw himself the only intervening
guard between her and the fate which of all
others she dreaded, the being at the mercy of a low minded and justly offended
husband; and it
would have been scarcely possible that he should have refused his protection to
a woman who had, for his sake, deprived herself of every other support; and
who, if he abandoned her, would have no other shelter from the shivering evils
of poverty and the furious blasts of calumny, but the gloomy mansion of an
angry parent, or the humiliating restraint of a vindictive husband.
Perhaps
no other being but herself could, in such circumstances, have broken the bands
by which Mr. Willoughby would have felt himself bound to Lady Charlotte!
But
the cruel exultation
that she had betrayed in the supposed ignominy of the unfortunate Isabella, the
violence of her reproaches, and the diabolical triumph of which she had
boasted, in the accomplishment of his misery, and her own revenge, had
effectually torn from his eyes the bandage with which the infatuation of his
senses had blinded him; and no sooner had the storm of conflicting passions,
which the sense of the infamy that his own follies had brought on his unhappy
wife, subsided, than his returning reason showed him the character of Lady
Charlotte in its true light; and though his self-love still clung to the
chimera of the strength and faithfulness of her passion for him, yet was it
mixed with so many debasing alloys, as justified to his feelings his
determination to see her no more.
But
in taking this resolution was there in the world a more forlorn and abandoned
creature than the guilty Willoughby must have believed himself to be?
Where were now the groups of
friends who had so often surrounded his festive board? where the wife whose
mild qualities left unchecked his pleasures abroad, and whose sweetness of
temper and graciousness of manner secured him peace and cheerfulness at home?
where that self-approving mind and fresh-springing hope which had gladdened his
early years, and had spread a lustre over his opening manhood? — dispersed!
betrayed! annihilated! and in their place solitude, bitter regret, deep
remorse, and burning shame!
Cheated
and triumphed over even by her who had seduced him from the most sacred of his
duties by the most vehement professions of everlasting love, could he hope that
there existed a human being who would look upon him with pity, or hold out a
friendly hand to support him under his burthen, or to assist him in lightening
it?
Yet
there were still some sacred duties that bound him to life and to exertion: the
duty of repairing, as far as possible, the injuries that he had done to his
wife; and that of securing protection for his infant son.
These
duties could not be performed without some active
effort on his part, and he was resolved to make it; and then
to bid adieu to society and the hopes of happiness together.
It
was easy for him to make the place of his abode known to his servant Edwards; and
by his means to communicate with whomever he might judge the most proper to
make his agent, to secure the two important objects that he had in view.
Rejecting
each of his own particular friends, who, he might have flattered himself, would
still be willing to serve him in so praiseworthy a purpose as he was now bent
upon, he determined to apply to Lord Burghley, in the full confidence that in
so doing he fixed upon the person who would be the most acceptable to Isabella
in the mediation that must take place between them; and in an unreserved
reliance on the parental care
that he would extend to his boy, while he made the separation that must now
take place between the child and the mother, as little grievous to the latter
as possible. In pursuance of these thoughts, he wrote the following letter to
Lord Burghley:
“MY
LORD,
“The most culpable of men would not have dared to address your Lordship,
if he were not also the most penitent; or if he addressed you for any other
purpose than to entreat that you will exert the high qualities that have so
long secured you the respect of the wise and the good, in aiding him to repair,
as far as it is now reparable, the extensive evil that he has occasioned.
“That
this miserable man feels only the tenderest compassion for the unfortunate
woman who has been ruined by his follies, cannot, my Lord, give him any merit
in your eyes. If he felt otherwise he would be a monster. But it may be an
additional gratification to a disposition like yours, to be assured that, in saving
the wife from utter destruction, you will mitigate the severest pangs of the
guilty husband.
“If
your Lordship should not hold this unhappy culprit wholly unworthy of your
notice, the bearer will inform you where you may find the miserable
“F. WILLOUGHBY.”
The
astonishment and confusion of thought which the perusal of this letter
occasioned Lord Burghley, were beyond what he had before felt.
At
the time when he received it he was under the full persuasion that Mr. Willoughby had
quitted the kingdom in company with Lady Charlotte; and of the malignant
calumny which she had fabricated against Isabella he had not a shadow of
knowledge or
conception. So distant from the power of his imagination was the existence of
such an imputation, that he had read Mr. Willoughby’s letter three times before
he could clearly comprehend to what husband, or to what wife, it alluded; but
perfectly persuaded that it could not be in favour of Lady Charlotte that Mr.
Willoughby would endeavour to interest him, his thoughts were at length
irresistibly compelled to settle upon Isabella. That she was unfortunate, that
she was injured, he too well knew, and feelingly deplored; but that she could
be in any situation which could possibly make it a merit in her injurer to
regard her with compassion, was beyond the power of his understanding to
resolve. What “utter destruction threatened her,” the averting of which would
“mitigate the severest pang of a guilty husband?” This could not be an evil
which applied equally to his child and his wife, otherwise did Lord Burghley
feel assured that he too would have been included in the earnest application
made to him for his protection of the latter. Had then any individual
misfortune fallen upon Isabella, independent of the distress and misery brought
on both herself and her son by the indiscretion of her husband?
These
were questions that he could not solve by any conjecture in his power to make.
He sought their elucidation from Lady Jane Hastings; but he sought it in vain.
Yet from her he received information that, while it contributed to add wonder
to wonder, and confusion to confusion, shed a ray of light on the dark fortunes of Isabella, which he was willing to believe
might in time spring up to a perfect day.
From
her he learned that the family of Lady Charlotte had been thrown into the
greatest consternation and grief, by an express declaration from herself, that
being no longer able to endure the tyranny and ill-usage of Mr. Dunstan, she
had placed herself under the protection of Sir Charles Seymour, and had
withdrawn to the Continent.
This
new aspect of affairs more than ever inclined Lord Burghley to comply with Mr.
Willoughby’s request to make himself a party in all that might arise between
him and Isabella; and he therefore lost no time in repairing to the place of
Mr. Willoughby’s concealment.
Mr.
Willoughby received Lord Burghley with an assumed firmness of manner, and with
the most profound respect, but with the air of a man who presumed nothing from
their former acquaintance.
“Why
this distance, Willoughby?” said the benevolent Lord Burghley: “Are we not
friends?” And he put forth his hand with the most affectionate compassion.
“Oh!
my Lord!” said the conscience-stricken Willoughby, and his heart rose to his
throat; all his composure fled; and he turned hastily away to conceal his
emotion.
“Willoughby,”
said Lord Burghley, “compose yourself. You have erred; you have recovered the
right way: rely upon every effort in my power to smooth the ruggedness of the
path, and to make it the
road to peace and happiness.”
“My
Lord,” replied Mr. Willoughby, with a broken voice and a trembling frame, “be
assured, that for nothing that concerns such a wretch as myself should I have
presumed to trouble you—but there is an interest—there is a human being—” His
voice failed him, and he covered his face with his hands.
“You
speak of your wife,” said Lord Burghley. “You speak of Isabella. You cannot do
better than to speak of her, than to think of her as a preserving angel, who
will bear you safely through all the dangers, all the sorrows, by which you are
encompassed.”
Mr.
Willoughby withdrew his hands from before his face, and, casting a look of
wildness and indignation on Lord Burghley,
“You
cannot,” said he fiercely, “mean to insult me?”
“There
is some strange mistake here,” replied Lord Burghley. “But if you have been led
to believe that your wife is less spotless than purity itself, you have been as
grossly as wickedly deceived.”
“Where
is she?’ said Mr. Willoughby, impatiently. “Where is she at this moment?”
“In
her own house, in Westmoreland,” replied Lord Burghley, “watching over the
welfare of your child, and struggling with the emotions of a heart that is
breaking with its sorrows for your unhappiness.”
“Oh!
no, no!” cried Mr. Willoughby, with a tone of anguish that pierced the
compassionate soul of Lord Burghley. “My Lord, you are deceived. She
is—she is—do I live to speak it? and I the cause, the accursed cause!—she is
with Sir Charles Seymour!” And at the same time, as if destroyed by the effort
that he had made to utter the detested name, he sunk back on his chair, and
remained motionless.
“No!
on my life!” said Lord Burghley; “who can have imposed upon you so notorious a falsehood? Is it possible
that your seducer shall have become your tormentor? and can you really be
ignorant where Sir Charles is, and who is his companion?”
“I
have already told you who is his companion, wherever he is,” said Mr.
Willoughby; “urge me not to speak the name, lest my heart burst in the
utterance.”
“Would
to God,” said Lord Burghley, “that all your sorrows were as imaginary as this!
Your wife is where you left her, and Sir Charles Seymour is at this hour in
France with Lady Charlotte Dunstan.”
“It
is false!” said Mr. Willoughby, starting up. “My Lord, I beg your pardon; but
if you strike me for the word, I must say that it is false!”
“And
I would rather that you should strike me,” said Lord Burghley, calmly,
“than that it should not be true. My dear Willoughby, I now see that you have
been most basely deceived;
most diabolically tormented! With one vigorous effort shake off the chains that
have so long bound you, and return to your most virtuous, most admirable wife;
she will be an Abigail to watch over your safety, not a Dalilah to seduce you
to your ruin.”
“It
is not so! it cannot be so!” said Mr. Willoughby, with a look of wildness. “Oh
Heavens! what she who offered to share with me degradation and poverty? she who
for my sake abandoned rank, affluence, society, and reputation? she who could
refuse the man she loved, that which her honour forbad her to grant! what she
to have given herself to another? and that other the paramour — oh no! no! seek
not to impose impossibilities upon me. I know the violence of her temperament.
I know that her passions may for a moment overcome the generosity of her
nature; may make her mistake the agony of jealousy for the pleasure of revenge;
but she is chaste! she is true!”
“Was
she true,” replied Lord Burghley, “when she poured into your ears the tale of
infamy that blasted the fairest flower in virtue’s garden? Was she chaste when
she threw herself into the arms of Sir Charles Seymour, rather than return to
the just subjection of her husband?”
“Am I then to believe this worse
than hellish treachery?” cried Mr. Willoughby, in a voice of stifled agony;
“and have I wronged my poor Isabella every way? but she is then spotless of
every stain? Oh God, for this I thank thee!”
“As the unsunned snow on Andes
highest point!” said Lord Burghley, “be assured of it; nor is there less doubt
of the depravity of her calumniators. I had my information from Lady Jane
Hastings, who had read the letter which announced her flight.”
“My
Lord,” said Mr. Willoughby, “I am unfit for company; I can transact no business
now; I beg you to excuse me, if I say that I would be glad to be alone.”
“No,
Willoughby,” replied Lord Burghley, “I shall not leave you. I came to serve
you, and I cannot leave you until you have pointed out the way in which I can
do so.”
“You cannot save me,” replied Mr. Willoughby;
“you have plucked one poisoned arrow from my heart, but you have struck another
there, which will rankle to my death.”
“For
shame, my friend!” cried Lord Burghley; “can the desertion of a bad woman thus
unman you? How Sir Charles has supplanted you in her favour is a secret that I
cannot penetrate; but I should rejoice to hear that it is rather that she has
not been able to induce you to consummate your
ruin and her
own, than that her fickleness has disappointed a purpose that would have
stamped an indelible opprobrium on your name.”
“On
my honour, she has not disappointed any such purpose,” said Mr. Willoughby.
“Lady Charlotte and I had parted, never to meet again, before I wrote to your
Lordship. I hope that in any case I
should not have been such a rascal as to have made her a partaker in the ruin
that I have brought on myself; but from the moment that I was led to believe
that my neglect had corrupted the purest heart that ever beat in a human
breast, I felt myself a wretch, to whose fate to bind that of anyother, and that other, I own it with the
blush of burning shame, the object of my love, would have been to heap coals of
inextinguishable fire on my head in this world and the next; and I solemnly
assure you that when I wrote to you, I had not a wish, or a purpose, beyond
reclaiming my injured Isabella, and providing for her and my child. I was then, and am now, reckless what becomes of myself. My future days must be spent
in obscurity and remorse; and I pray God, that I may be able to support their
endurance to any period, which he may in his justice see proper to prolong
them!”
“Brighter
prospects open before you,” said Lord Burghley. “The path of penitence ends in
peace. Return to your wife, your child. The consequences of former indiscretions
may be mitigated. You have still no inconsiderable resources. Time may restore
you to the station of
life which for the present you have lost; and, under the shadowing wings of
virtuous love, obscurity itself will be the abode of happiness.”
“No,
my Lord,” replied Mr. Willoughby, firmly; “never more will I behold the
excellence to whom I have have proved so
unworthy a guardian. I know her virtues! I feel her charms! but henceforth I
can only be the object of her duty, not of her affection. She married me
without that preferring love which alone can throw a veil over the faults of
humanity. After we were united, I took no pains, careless as I was! to inspire
her with this love. Whence now can it be generated? She cannot even yield me
the cold tribute of esteem and respect. I fear no reproaches from her. I know
that she will strictly do all that she ought to do; and one of her duties will
be to warn her son not to resemble his father. I cannot live a scarecrow to my
child! I cannot take to my bosom the wife in whose presence I shall feel
humiliated. No! we must meet no more. But I will reduce myself to the narrowest
pittance rather than she and her boy shall want any of the comforts or the
accommodations of life, or that they should owe them to any other hand but
mine. I am not yet so undone that my wife and child need be pensioners on the
bounty of any one; and my own hands shall administer to the few wants that
henceforth this worthless body can know, rather than that it should be so. But
of this hereafter. I will leave her, who has the best right to it, that dear
pledge of an union which, but for my folly, might have been a most happy one.
She will not refuse to let me sometimes look upon him. I shall not blast him
with a look; and every word I utter shall be a note of self-condemnation.”
“I
wonder not,” said Lord Burghley, “that at this moment your recollections are so
severe; that your resolves are so desperate; but you will resume a better
spirit. You will feel that you are again unjust, to cast from you the woman
whose happiness and whose dignity alike demand that she should be restored to
the station of your associate and your wife.”
“I
cannot give her happiness,” said Mr. Willoughby; “she can derive no dignity
from being associated with the man who has disgraced himself.”
“She
ought at least to be allowed to decide this question herself,” replied Lord
Burghley. “I am confident that you will not refuse to see her.”
“It
is the single thing that I will
refuse,” said Mr. Willoughby. “Let her speak her wishes, her will; let her task
me to the extent of my power; let her dictate to me the place of my abode,
regulate the disposition of my time, point out all with whom I may converse;
but let her not ask that we shall meet again; for this I can not, will not grant.”
“Good
God!” said Lord Burghley, “is it possible? can indeed that bad woman retain so much power over you?”
“She
retains no power over me,” said Mr.
Willoughby, his frame shaking through every fibre; “from her, I am as free as
air. I have not wronged her. But Isabella I have wronged, most cruelly wronged!
beyond all forgiveness—beyond the hope that she can do otherwise than despise
me! Fool, dupe, as I have been! And if she would not have me expire with shame
at her feet, let her not seek to see me. And now, I entreat that you will leave
me. My senses are confounded, my heart is oppressed, beyond any farther
endurance. This hour of darkness and of agony I must battle with alone! but I
will overcome myself; you shall hear from me. I will live to do all the justice
that I can now do to my wife and child; and when this is done, I would that it
might be the will of God that this tortured heart would break!”
“My
dear Willoughby!” said Lord Burghley.
“Pray,
pray be gone! my brain turns round; I must be alone!”
Lord
Burghley withdrew, but he earnestly entreated Edwards to watch over his master
with the most unremitted care, and to give the earliest notice of that degree
of returning calmness from whence any hope could arise, that he might receive
consolation and support from those who were so ready to afford them both to the
fullest extent of their power.
Here
then we must leave this wretched man to all the agonising reflections that the
wrongs which he had done, and the treachery of which he had been the victim,
were so well calculated to suggest, and look after gentler sorrows and less
feculent affliction.
CHAP.
LI.
“He
says he loves my daughter,
And
I do think so too.”
SHAKSPEARE.
THE
result of Lord Burghley’s report to Lady Rachel Roper of the absolute rupture which had taken place between Mr.
Willoughby and Lady Charlotte; and the state of mind in which he had left the
former, was that Mr. Burghley should immediately proceed to Eagle’s Crag, and
bring up Isabella under the guardianship of Mr. Parr; as it appeared that it
was alone by her personal exertions, that there could be any hope of calming
the mind of Mr. Willoughby, or of herself being restored to her rightful claims
upon his heart, and his society. Ignorant as they were of Sir Charles’s
irruption upon Eagle’s Crag, they could only impute the calumny which had
wrought so different an effect to that which had been intended, to the bold
falsehood of Lady Charlotte’s unprincipled mind; and they knew not that she had rather anticipated what she believed would
happen, than that she had asserted what she knew to be false; but the shade of
difference which this distinction made in the actual untruth which she had
uttered, made not any in the depravity of the character from whence it sprung;
and so great did this depravity appear both to Lord Burghley and Lady Rachel,
that in honour to human nature, they mutually agreed to conceal, even from
Isabella, the disgrace that had been reflected upon it.
Mr.
Parr and Mr. Burghley had wearied themselves in attempting to unravel the web
of wickedness that Lady Charlotte and Sir Charles Seymour had so artfully
wrought into disentangable intricacy, when Catherine returned to tell them,
that Isabella had fallen into a quiet sleep; and that she had hopes that she might be able to begin her journey to town
the next morning. An early desire that no time should be lost in getting there,
had become the ruling feeling of Isabella’s mind, and Catherine had in
consequence, at her request, already given the necessary orders. She was herself now ready to receive any that
her father might have to give, on his so sudden and unlooked for departure from
his own house.
“I have only one direction to give my dear
Catherine,” said he; “it is, that you do not lose sight of the little precious
Godfrey for one hour. If we do not preserve that valuable treasure for our dear
Mrs. Willoughby, all our efforts to restore her to happiness will be fruitless.
The rest I leave to your discretion.”
“And this,” said Catherine, with a smile, “you
might have left to my heart.”
“I
know it, my dear child,” replied Mr. Parr, “but then I should not have
satisfied my own; but
remember that all you do must be under the superintendance of Mrs. Evans, who
will not only bring her heart to the charge, but her skill also.”
Catherine
was now about to retire; when Mr. Burghley said, hesitating and colouring,
“May
we not ask one half hour’s indulgence? — I have an apology to make, and I would
rather make it in the presence of Mr. Parr, than at any other time.”
Catherine’s
natural lily, gave place to the most glowing rose.
“That
blush, but too justly reproaches me,” continued Mr. Burghley. “I have once been guilty of impertinence to your daughter,”
said he, turning to Mr. Parr; “and I am ready to submit to any penance that you
may think proper to impose, except that of your forbidding me her
acquaintance.”
“I
know to what you allude,” said Mr. Parr, with his usual frankness; “Catherine
and I have no secrets; and the next time you meet a rustic mountaineer botanizing,
don’t send her home to her father, with a report that she has met a wild man in
her walks.”
Mr.
Burghley laughed, and blushed: Catherine blushed also, but did not laugh.
“I
put myself into Miss Parr’s hands,” said Mr. Burghley. “If I am wild in time to
come, it will be her fault; for she may make me what she will.”
“Then
pray, Catherine,” said Mr. Parr, “make him reasonable at this moment; and let
him not offer any objection to your withdrawing to your own room. You want
repose and quiet.”
Mr.
Burghley instantly arose; and opening the door, “Thus prompt shall you always find me to promote your welfare,
although at my own expence,” said he, with a bow of such arch solemnity and
respect, that made the truth, which had burst unbidden from his heart, appear
nothing beyond a playful gallantry.
Catherine’s
gracious smile, and obliging “good night, sir,” completed her conquest; and as
he closed the door after her, “I hope,” said he, fervently, “that the time may
come, when I shall be permitted to tell you
sir, that my happiness depends upon the smiles of your daughter.”
“The time is not yet come,” said Mr. Parr, with a satisfaction at his heart, which
spread itself over his countenance; “and therefore we will at present think no
more about it.”
But neither
his look nor his tone struck any chill to the hopes of Mr. Burghley; indeed, so
much was Mr. Parr prepossessed in Mr. Burghley’s favour, from the partial
estimation in
which he knew that Isabella held him; and so much pleased had he been with all
that had passed between them in the last few hours, that he could not forbear
to indulge a hope, that in the growing passion of this warm-hearted and generous-spirited young man,
he should find an asylum for his Catherine, of which she so peculiarly stood in
need; and which he so much feared he might die without having secured to her.
Mutually
pleased with each other, Mr. Parr and Mr. Burghley passed the remainder of the
evening in discussing repeatedly all that either of them knew of the
circumstances in which Mr. Willoughby stood, and in forming plans to restore
him to happiness, and to re-instate him in affluence. But the knowledge of each
was so limited, and they were so entirely without authority to act, that at
this present period Mr. Parr could do nothing more towards promoting their
wishes and their projects, than to make a communication to Mr. Roberts as fully
as he could of the situation in which Mr. Willoughby was placed; and to request
him to furnish him with any papers sealed up, that might be wanted, or useful
to the settlement of Mr. Willoughby’s affairs, which was about to take place.
The
grieved and honest Roberts retired for the purpose of collecting such
documents, and the next morning put into the hands of Mr. Parr a packet, which
he informed him would greatly facilitate the settlement that was projected; and
respectfully requested that he might be favoured with any communication which
might contribute to lessen the anxiety that he
felt for the fate of his master, and for that of those whose happiness was so
dependent upon his.
“Oh,
sir,” said this faithful creature, “my lady is an angel! and if my master will
let her, she will make him the happiest and the best of men; and indeed sir,
there was a time when he was worthy of such a wife; and I trust in God he will
be so again! and then I shall once more see around the fires of Eagle’s Crag,
the happy countenances that I have seen; when, every evening, all who belonged
to them prayed for their prosperity; and every morning rose to bless them for
that which they bestowed on others.”
Mr.
Parr cheered the worthy creature with assurances of the respect and esteem in
which he was held by all who knew him; and by encouraging the hopes which he
had so gratefully expressed, of again seeing Eagle’s Crag the abode of
benevolence, love, and peace.
Isabella
arose calm and sedate; but with an evident guard on herself, that betrayed an
apprehension that the least emotion would destroy her assumed fortitude. She cast one glance on her boy; but ventured not to
take him into her arms: she spoke to Catherine only in monosyllables; and
replied to the attentions of her other friends only by a look, or a movement of
the hand, or head.
Mr.
Parr was charmed to see how Mr. Burghley’s vivacity gave way before a solemnity
so touching. Catherine herself could not have been more silent, less obtrusive,
nor yet more attentive. Quietly he superintended every preparation for their
departure; and when all was ready he communicated the intelligence to Catherine
in a whisper. Instructed by a motion from her, he advanced towards Isabella,
and saying, “will you permit me to lead you to your carriage,” he drew her arm
under his; he perceived that her limbs failed her, and he put his arm around
her: Mr. Parr assisted to support her; and Catherine gently pressing one of her
hands, and instantly letting it go again, disappeared through the opposite door
to that from which Isabella was to depart.
Isabella
spoke not: she did not dare to fix her eyes upon one well known object, or to
raise them from the ground; she passively suffered herself to be led to the
carriage; and, having entered it, in unbroken silence, Mr. Parr followed her,
and she was driven away.
Mr.
Burghley cast an eager look towards the windows of the house, in the flattering
hope that he might have one more glance at Catherine, to whom he had given no
small proof of his self-command, and his forgetfulness of his own
gratification, that he had not made a single adieu.
He
was rewarded for his forbearance by beholding her at a little door, that opened
into the court, evidently desirous to speak, and willing to be spoken to.
He
flew to her, and seizing one of her hands, he exclaimed,
“You
have commands for me; what would you have me do, or say, or think?”
“I am
ashamed,” said the modest and simple minded Catherine, “to give you so much
trouble: but I have thoughtlessly omitted to ask my father to give me one word
from the inn where you are to sleep; just to tell me how my dear Mrs.
Willoughby has borne her journey, and how she supports herself. Will you be so
kind as to make my request for me?”
“May
I not write that one word myself?” said Mr. Burghley.
“Oh
why should you take the trouble?” said Catherine. “My father will be glad to
write to me.”
“And
shall not I?” said Mr. Burghley, with a look of intelligence, that made
the conscious Catherine blush.
“A
single line will be sufficient,” replied she.
“Well,”
returned Mr. Burghley, “niggard as you are in your favours, you shall see by
the exactness with which I obey your orders, that I am worthy of being honoured
with them a second time, when I hope they will be less restrained.”
“Thank
you,” said Catherine, “and now pray go; for I would have you as near my dear
Mrs. Willoughby as possible. She will want all her friends.”
“And
she will have friends in all who are near her,” said Mr. Burghley; “but she
cannot want me now; and I — I — I want to talk to you.”
“But
I cannot stay,” said Catherine; “you heard my father charge me never to lose
sight of the little Godfrey, so God bless you.” And she vanished in a moment;
and left him to mutter between his teeth, “the little tyrant!” and to love her
the better for the good natured reserve that she maintained.
On
such slight incidents often depend the great events of human life, that the
interview at the “little door” became an epoch in existence both to Mr.
Burghley and Catherine; and it will not be supposed that with all the real, and
all the affected carelessness incident to young men, Mr. Burghley could forget
to fulfil the commission he had received. He wrote the following lines from the
appointed stage.
“Our
dear Mrs. Willoughby has borne her little journey, and has supported herself
through the day, as well as our dear Miss Parr could wish. How proud I
am of the connecting link which thus binds me at once to father and daughter!
but I dare not transgress my promised one line; yet pray remember that we—these
plurals are delicious!—are as much interested for your charge as you can be for
ours; and that we have a claim upon you for one word, if not for a whole line,
to assure us of the welfare of little Godfrey. Your obedient slave, B.”
Catherine
was charmed by Mr. Burghley’s
gaiety; and her good-will was engaged by the warmth of his affections; but she
was not drawn into a correspondence by his lover’s trick of pretended anxiety
for her little charge.
When
she wrote to her father, however, she sent him her acknowledgments for his
exact compliance with her wishes; and promised to find out, as soon as
possible, some new office in which to employ him.
Thus
was an intercourse established between them; and Catherine, without being aware
from whence it sprung, had a new interest in life, which brightened every
object, and enlivened every thought.
Mr.
Burghley was indeed the lover of all others for Catherine. His gaiety
exhilarated her; and rekindled in her breast the native spark of cheerfulness
and mirth, which early sorrow and deep thought had nearly extinguished: and
while his gentleness laid all precaution asleep, the ardency of his feelings
found a correspondence in her own, which soon identified their sentiments,
their wishes, and their hearts!
CHAP.
LII.
“Then
Zara knew the agony of shame
That bowed Alashtor; and an
icy chill
Shot to her heart, and
quiver’d through her frame!”
GALLY
KNIGHT.
AT
this period nothing could be more fortunate for Catherine than that such a
novel source of feeling should spring up. In this hour of sorrow all was gloomy
around her.
The
unusual solitude in which she was left; the importance of the charge that was
committed to her care; the doubtful fate which hung over the head of her
friend; all conspired to fill her mind
with apprehension, and to depress her spirits; but she thought of Mr. Burghley,
and said to herself, “these clouds will pass away.”
It is
true that necessity for this consolation returned every minute; hitherto she
had received none from any other source.
Isabella
had indeed arrived in town, without apparently having suffered in health by the
exertion that she had made, or from the anxiety of her mind; but here all of
good was bounded.
No
efforts that Lord Burghley could make were of any avail towards shaking Mr. Willoughby’s resolution that he
would see her no more.
Lady
Rachel had received her with the fondest affection. She had wept over her faded
form, and she had applauded the strength of her mind; she had repeated her
assurance that neither Isabella, nor her boy, should ever know deprivation; but
she solemnly refused to assist in any way the unhappy Willoughby.
“If,”
said she, “he can be restored to a healthy state of mind, it must be by
the severity of the discipline that he is now undergoing. That the gangrene of
vice has not wholly destroyed the moral principle, is proved by what he now
endures. He can still feel; there is then still life: but I should hold myself
as accessary to its final extinction, if I were to step in to abate him one
pang of so salutary a suffering. If he have not strength in himself sufficient
to make the sacrifices that his present condition requires, the saving him from
them would be but bestowing an artificial life, that would last no longer than
the first transitory emotion of pleasure on being so relieved. He must drink to
the dregs the bitter cup that he has mingled for himself; to the last drop he
must drink it. His mind is not yet sufficiently subdued; his pride has not
yielded. He applauds himself for the readiness with which he is willing to part
with his last shilling for the support of his wife and child; he knows not that
he more fears the humiliation of their being indebted to another hand for their
maintenance, than
that he shrinks from the inconveniences that they must suffer. He writhes under
the lash of remorse, and mistakes his misery for penitence. But the penitent is
humble; the penitent kisses the rod. But while he refuses to let the woman whom he has injured choose the reparation that he shall
make her, he thinks more of escaping pain himself, than of alleviating that
which he has inflicted upon her.
“Be it your task, my dear child,”
said she to Isabella, “to mould this proud spirit, and this obstinate
self-will, into the form of virtue. There are not sacrifices that can accomplish this transformation,
that you are not called upon to make. Your
pride, your self-will, must also be
trodden under your feet. Self must be annihilated! The restoration of your
husband to the path of virtue must be your sole aim. If, finally, this were
only to be obtained by the renunciation of his society, the renunciation must
be made. But it is not so, whatever he may now think or believe. He cannot be
restored but by companionship with you. When he will consent that you shall
together share the evil which he has brought upon you both, — when he shall
seek by love, by tenderness, to heal the wounds that he has inflicted, then will he have re-instated you
in all your rights; then will he have paid the homage due to your virtues; —and
when he shall be willing, for your sake, to allow the hand of friendship to
supply the defalcation which his vices have made in what is due from him to
you, then, and not till then, will be proved that he is more ashamed of the
vice, than afraid of the punishment. Then will he be penitent; then will his
reformation be accomplished; he will be a new creature, and the blessings of renovation
will be upon him.”
The
understanding of Isabella acknowledged the sanative justice of Lady Rachel’s
decision; but her feelings revolted from the severity of the discipline. She
was uneasy even under the security from personal suffering that was promised;
to see her child in safety, and secure from the ills of unprotected poverty,
was all the pecuniary good to which her apprehension was at this time sensible.
For herself to be less oppressed by distress than the object of her so ardent
affection was henceforth to be, seemed to her an exemption, which robbed her of
that identity with him, which, in this sad hour, could be her one and only worldly consolation.
Yet
how dared she to breathe such thoughts before Lady Rachel?
She
bowed before her, as the immediate agent of that Supreme Power, who punishes to
reform, and chasteneth every son whom he receiveth!
“Oh!
thou more than parent!” cried she, throwing herself on her knees before Lady
Rachel, and hiding her face in her lap, “I
acknowledge thy justice! thy goodness penetrates my heart! Forgive the
feebleness of thy child, if she shrinks from thy stroke! Thy child! — may I
promise to call myself so? I know the superiority of the virtues that I dare to
emulate; but let the implicitness of my obedience prove that in all I can, I am no unworthy successor of her
whose place I aspire to fill!”
“Oh!
my child, my child!” cried Lady Rachel, with a burst of passion that
astonished, and almost annihilated Isabella, “do I again embrace thee? Oh!
beloved of my heart, thus let me fold thee to my bosom! Dost thou, wilt thou,
recognize me as thy mother? Am I indeed no longer childless? No, no! My Rachel
is restored to me; thou dost not
only emulate, but equal that angel which is in heaven. She was not tried as
thou art! Well dost thou fulfil
those painful duties which she died because she was not permitted to perform.
Oh! may a merciful God support thee under them! Yes,” continued she, still
folding the amazed, the agitated Isabella, still closer to her bosom, “thou
shalt take in my heart the place of a creature whom I loved, — blessed be God,
not more than its Creator! for I could resign her to Him — I could rejoice that
her eternity of bliss began, while I had yet to suffer all the sorrows of time;
but yet a creature whom I loved with such intensity of passion, that no
revolution of years ever has, ever can,
lessen my regrets. But henceforth thou shalt fill the heart which she has left
so vacant; not to efface her remembrance, but to be so blended with it, that
Rachel and Isabella shall be one! But what am I about?” said Lady Rachel,
resuming her steadier self; “I shall destroy by my ungoverned feelings my
greatest earthly treasure. Your body is too feeble for your mind, my child!
Rest your head on my bosom; pour your tears there. When I relax the reins of self-government, although but for a moment, my
fiery feelings scorch all around me; your gentler soul melts into a softer
sorrow, and injures none but yourself.”
“Never,
never,” said the sobbing Isabella, “did you injure me! — never can you injure
me! These tears are tears of
transport! of gratitude to my God, who enables me to be a consolation to you;
it does me good to shed them.”
“Receive
this blessing then,” said Lady Rachel, “as an
earnest of a greater that is in store for you. You will be more than a consolation to the object of your
dearest earthly love; you will be a saviour to him.”
Isabella
pressed Lady Rachel’s hand with an
almost convulsive grasp. “Do you think so?” said she, with an emotion that
almost choaked her utterance.
“I do,” replied Lady Rachel; “but we must
give him time. At present we must suffer him to proceed in his own way. He has
much to unlearn. Let the torrent flow till it has worked itself clear. It will
be well, however, that he should be immediately informed of your arrival, and
of your wish to see him. He will refuse your request; but be not discouraged;
persist, and you will succeed.”
“Oh! could I save him, without augmenting his
sufferings!” cried Isabella; “to see him humiliated before me will be the
bitterness of death!”
“And
the raising him to hope and peace, as the joys of Paradise,” said Lady Rachel.
“Lord Burghley will endeavour to smooth the way for you. We must precipitate
nothing.”
Prudent
as was this resolution, and well-grounded as Lady Rachel’s hopes appeared,
there seemed to be but too great a possibility that both her prudence and her
foresight would be disappointed.
Mr.
Willoughby, so far from yielding to an interview with Isabella, persisted in
his resolution not again to see Lord Burghley; and there was less hope that he
would be shaken in his resolution, as it seemed less to proceed from a
disturbed imagination, than to be the deliberate determination of his
understanding.
It
was evident that he had regained the calmness of his mind, and the power of
acting reasonably. Nothing could exceed the clearness, integrity, and openness
with which he stated the demands that were upon him, and the means that yet
remained to satisfy them, from the celerity with which he proceeded to bring
all his intended arrangements to an issue, and from the unlimited and
uncontrollable power with which he invested Lord Burghley to act in future for
his wife and child, without any reference to himself. Thus cutting off all
necessity for a conference upon the subject, he proved the tenacity with which
he adhered to his originally declared resolution, that having once fulfilled
the only remaining obligation which bound him to any human creature, he would
henceforth be self-banished from the society of mankind.
In
vain was the request, the intreaty, that he would see Isabella, reiterated by
repeated letters from Lord Burghley; in vain were her claims authoritatively
urged by Lady Rachel; unsuccessfully did she herself resort to the humblest note
of supplication; he was alike unmoved by all; and when Lord Burghley received
the following letter, all hope seemed to be extinct, and the scene to be closed
for ever.
“MY LORD,
“With
this letter there will be delivered to you all the powers necessary to enable you to discharge, with
as little inconvenience as the case will admit, the office that, with a
kindness so undeserved on my part, you have consented to take upon yourself.
“In
making this final communication I entreat your patience, if I trespass
something more on your time and attention than may strictly appear to be
necessary to accomplish the purpose for which alone I should have presumed to
have troubled you at all.
“My
Lord, in my so obstinate refusal to grant the only request that my unhappy wife
has preferred, through the application of your Lordship, through that of Lady
Rachel, and even through her own condescension, I may have appeared harsh,
undutiful, and unkind. Nor do I know how to acquit myself of these imputations
otherways, than by a most solemn asseveration that it is a conscientious
consideration for others, rather than any tenderness for my own feelings, that
has rendered me deaf to the voice of friendship, of authority, and of duty.
“I
can never more bestow happiness, nor reflect honour. I can never more be the
worthy object of filial affection, nor of conjugal love. I know that I have sinned, not beyond the power of
forgiveness, but beyond the boundary of affection. Why then should I be seen by
her, who cannot look upon me with pleasure? Why should I listen to accents
whose every tone, be the words that were uttered what they might, must be the
tone of reproach? What result of happiness could there be from an association
which would narrow the accommodation of one party, or would expose both to the
humiliation of preying upon relationship for a supply? I know the nobleness of Lady Rachel’s mind;
and misfortune I might with gratitude have allowed her to repair: but
never for me shall the current of her bounty be turned from its fertilizing
course through the fields of virtue, to wash the barren strand of vice. She has
reproached me with preferring to lessen the comforts of those for whose
interests I affect to be so solicitous, to submitting myself to the humiliation
of accepting the pecuniary aid which my vices have made necessary to their
accommodation in life. The very reverse has been the principle upon which I
have acted.
“In
separating my interests from those of my wife and child, I have left the
munificence of Lady Rachel to flow in its natural channel; and should the
provision that I have endeavoured to make against the necessity of its reaching
even those better parts of myself prove ineffectual, I shall rejoice that my
inability is so well supplied, and shall not, I hope, be grudged the
consolation of feeling that the worthless remnant does not interrupt any part
of the stream.
“My
Lord, you will be better able than I am myself to give weight and clearness to
these confused thoughts: they are the workings of a disordered head, and an
afflicted heart; but they are so bound up with the small remains of peace that
I may still look to for myself, and are, in my opinion, so essential to the
welfare of those who are inexpressibly dear to me, that I hope they will not be
any farther controverted.
“It
may be presumptuous to offer to one whom I have so justly offended, as I have
done Lady Rachel Roper, an assurance of my undiminished duty, and my
everlasting gratitude; but as this is the last time that I shall ever approach her, I intreat that she
will pardon the liberty I take in making it. There is a still dearer object, to
whom I dare not speak; for what words could I utter that would not be an
insult? But permit me, my Lord, in bidding you a last farewell, to express the
high esteem and regard, and never-ending gratitude, with which I shall ever
remain your Lordship’s much obliged and sincerely humble servant, F. WILLOUGHBY.
Isabella
read this letter, and hope died within her; but in losing hope, she attained all the energy of despair.
“No,
cruel Willoughby!” said she, “thou shalt not thus bereave me! I will see
thee; and if thou wilt not let me live with thee, I will die at thy feet!”
Lady
Rachel now felt her fears awakened for the consequences to Isabella of such an interview,
and hesitated whether she should give way to a resolution from which so much
evil might be dreaded, and from which so little good would probably ensue. But,
acknowledging the sacredness of that duty which imposed upon Isabella all
that could be done towards the preservation of her unhappy husband, she
silenced her fears, and adhered to her principles.
But
it was not easy to make even
this last effort. Many difficulties intervened. Mr. Willoughby was now seen by
no one but his own servant; and he was forbidden, under the severest effects of
his master’s displeasure, to admit any one to him without his express
permission.
It
was certain that this permission would not be obtained for Isabella and
Edwards, half in obedience to his master, and half in compassion for Isabella,
whom he apprehended would scarcely survive witnessing the miserable state to
which the object of her love was reduced, long resisted every means used to
prevail with him to admit her against his master’s prohibition. But at length,
in part overawed, and in part persuaded, he yielded, and promised that she
should find no impediment to entering Mr. Willoughby’s apartment at any hour
she should appoint.
There
was no time to be lost. Edwards hourly expected that Mr. Willoughby would remove;
and he was aware that he meant to do so with so much secrecy, that he should not himself have
sufficient notice of the exact moment of his intended departure to give
Isabella timely information when it would take place.
Vehemently as Isabella had desired, and
earnestly as she had laboured to be admitted to her husband, now, when no
farther obstacles were opposed to their meeting, her heart sunk, and she thought that she could
have heard the sentence of her death with less trepidation than she learnt that
whenever she chose she might once again look upon Mr. Willoughby.
Lady Rachel saw a
confirmation of her own apprehensions in the quivering lips and death-like
countenance of Isabella; but looking beyond the earth on which they stood for
the support which was equally wanted by each,
“Go,” said she, “my child!
go, in the strength of the Lord! The issue is in his hands. It must be good!”
Isabella arose.
“I will go!” said she. “I
will go under the banners which you have spread over me; and if I perish, I perish!”
She was accompanied by a
confidential female servant of Lady Rachel’s; and Edwards was summoned to
attend her chair, as the sudden stopping of a carriage at the door of Mr.
Willoughby’s obscure lodging might have attracted his notice, and awakened his
suspicions.
When Isabella entered the
narrow passage which led to the dark stairs that she was to ascend, her
tremblings increased so much that it was not without the assistance of Edwards
that she could reach the top; and as he opened the door of the darkened room,
within whose confined space was the object that she so much longed, yet feared
to see, she could have wished that the floor would have sunk under her feet.
“Oh thou!” said she, “who
calmed the tumultuous sea with a word, speak, I beseech thee, to this beating
heart of mine, and bid it be still!”
“My master, madam,”
whispered Edwards, “is upon the sopha.
Tread softly, and he will not see you till you are close to him.”
Edwards gently closed the
door upon her; and Isabella was the next moment by the side of her husband.
CHAP.
LIII.
“The treasures of the deep
are not so precious
As the concealed comforts of
a man
Lock’d up in woman’s love.”
MIDDLETON.
“WHO
is there?” cried Mr. Willoughby, starting; “who are you?”
“Isabella!
your wife! your friend!” cried she, and she cast herself upon her knees before
him.
“Isabella?
she whose virgin innocence I swore to guard from
every approach of ill, and whom I left abandoned to all the evils of a wicked
world? Wife? that sacred name which comprehends all the decencies, all the
chaste delights that can gladden existence, and whose duties I degraded to the
gratification of my vanity, or the amusement of my lighter hours? Are these the
elements from whence to form a friend? away! seek not to deceive me: you cannot be my friend!”
“By
that innocence which was never sullied,” said Isabella; “by that sacred name
which in me has never been degraded; I dare claim the rights, the honours of a
friend. Prove me! try me! I will not betray the one, nor be found unworthy of the other.”
“And
for whose sake will you do this?” said Mr. Willoughby, in a tone of bitterness.
“For,
for —” said Isabella, hesitatingly, and as if afraid to make a claim that would
be disallowed, “for your sake.”
“For
mine? for such a wretch as I am? leave me! leave me! It cannot be! the thing is
impossible!”
“Be it then for my duty’s
sake,” said Isabella, meekly.
“Your duty!” cried the
impatient Willoughby. “Shall I be the puppet of your duty? fondled by precept!
and schooled by rule! It is not by such frigid application, that the racking
pain of my head and heart can be assuaged; it is not by the languid touch of
duty, that the sinking principle of life can be revived within me!”
“Then,” said Isabella,
throwing herself into the arms of her husband; “then, be it rekindled by the
sacred fire of love? I have loved you, my Willoughby; I have fondly loved you
from the first days of our marriage: and however mortified vanity, or
disappointed affection, may sometimes have put on a contrary appearance; or a
fear of being thought obtrusive, may have falsified the expression, I have
never, never loved any other! even my wandering fancy has never seen a charm in
any but yourself. I never can, I never shall love another; and I can never
cease to love you! I ask not in return your love: that may be beyond your power to give; but I ask the privilege, not
for your sake, but for my own, of suffering with you; of administering to your
wishes! deign to accept of consolation and assistance from my hands”
The stupid horror of
despair, which, when first Isabella had approached her husband, had fixed every
feature as by the immoveability of death, had, as her voice reached his ears,
faded from his countenance: and as she uttered the last words, his eyes darted
a ray of intelligence, but it was the expression of impatience rather than of
hope.
“What assistance? what
consolation?” cried he, in a voice that thrilled through every fibre of her
heart: and from you! you whom I have
betrayed! ruined! And you say you love me! that you have always loved me! Good
God! leave me: this instant leave me, if you would not see me do an act of
tragic vengeance on myself, from all the wrongs that I have done to you.”
“I am not betrayed! I am not
ruined!” said Isabella, in the softest tones of compassionate love. “I have
lost nothing that was necessary to my happiness, but what you may restore: I
may have been forgotten; but I have not been betrayed! In recalling me to your
remembrance, think of me only as a friend: a friend that death alone can tear
from you. No! never, never will I leave you! if you will not permit me to make
you happy, we will be miserable together.”
“What! where? whom?” said
Mr. Willoughby, with the quickness and confusion of a bewildered brain: “and
will you indeed share ruin with me? will you abandon your native soil? your
troops of friends! to hide your head in some foreign concealment with him who
is not worthy of a friend? will you do this, as if the shame as well as the
misery were yours?”
“With you,” returned Isabella,
“I will share whatever the course of human events or the will of a Divine
Providence may bring forth: but ruin, shame, and misery, I am not now called upon to share.”
“Are you then come to seduce
me with the benevolence of Lady Rachel?” returned Mr. Willoughby. “Having
forfeited her esteem, would you have me contemptible enough to live upon her
bounty?”
“No!” said Isabella, firmly;
“never shall you hear from me a proposal that can wound your most delicate
notions of dignity. But, my Beloved, we are not ruined: the portion which you
have so nobly assigned to me and to our child is for us all a sufficiency competent to every comfort of life, and not
wholly inadequate to some of its decorations: and shall we not partake of it
together? If greater affluence have been diminished by means which our better
feelings condemn, the hour of shame, if ever
there were such an hour, is passed. We have blushed for our weakness; we may be
allowed to rejoice in our strength. If our native soil have witnessed our
imperfections, shall it be to foreigners alone that we shall manifest our
virtues? In living a life of reason and religion, on however contracted a
scale, there can be no shame; why not live such a life in the presence of our
own people? Some loppings off must take place wherever we are: but where shall
we find so many indemnifications for such excisions, as in our native land?
where the eye of kindness will still rest upon us, and the voice of friendship
will still sound in our ears; where every object by which we shall be
surrounded may become an object of attachment, and every act of common
expenditure may be a blessing to a compatriot. The only sacrifice that we are
called to, is the sacrifice of our vanity, of our pride. Forgive me if I say,
that in flying to another country, in hiding ourselves from our former
associates, we do not abjure these idols; we offer incense to them!”
“What!” replied Mr.
Willoughby, in a
voice that appalled the feeling heart of Isabella, “What! would you have me an
object for the finger of scorn to point at! the jest of every witling that can
tell how high I have been! how low I am fallen! fallen by my own folly! aye, there’s the sting! and dragged you,
lovely, innocent, meritorious, as
you are, into the same abyss! Never! never! I ask not you to accompany me; I am not so selfish; but never shall my darker
fortune shadow the land where my meridian sun has blazed.”
“Nor do I ask that they
should,” replied Isabella, to whom the word selfish
had conveyed a sensation of happiness, long unknown to her feelings. “It is the
meridian sun, which is now about to break forth. All that has gone before was
shade. What you will henceforth do, will court observation; what is past, as it
was transacted in darkness, may well rest in obscurity. The blush and downcast
eye may attend the consciousness of error, but the erect mien and untroubled
countenance belong to the abjuration of it. To have fallen from the slippery
eminence on which we were placed, betrays no extraordinary heedlessness; but to
arise uncontaminated, to
replace ourselves on the firm platform of reason and moderation, shews a
strength which, if it furnish no grounds for pride, manifests a self-control
that may well challenge the respect of others. You and I, my Willoughby, have
been identified in the face of God and man; let us not be separated. In your
sickness and your sorrow I have a right to my part. Oh bereave me not of what
is dearer to me than health and joy, apart from you. You have always sought to
give me happiness by indulgence and generosity; withdraw them not at a moment
when they may establish a happiness dearer, ten thousand times dearer, to me
than my own.”
The wondering, the doubting,
and at length the ardently delighted eye of Mr. Willoughby, was now fixed
intently on the features of Isabella.
He clasped his hands together.
“Oh Isabella! is it
possible? Have I been thus beloved? am I still thus beloved? beloved with a
strength of feeling that has resisted coldness, neglect, unfaithfulness! that
no offence could alienate! no fear of poverty chill! Oh! how shall I expiate my
folly, my blindness, my ingratitude!”
“All is expatiated,” said
Isabella; “all is forgotten; from this hour we understand each other, and can
have but one soul between us.”
“If this be a dream,”
exclaimed Mr. Willoughby, “Oh may I never awake! Gentlest most generous, most
unresenting of human creatures,” cried he, pressing her fondly to his heart,
“thou hast conquered! I yield myself to thy guidance; my proud heart might have
withstood the discipline of duty, but has no defence against the control of
love.”
“Oh misery!” cried Isabella,
“thou mayst be borne! but bliss like this is too great for mortality!”
“My Isabella! My love!”
cried Mr. Willoughby, “look up! revive! let not my return to virtue and to thee
be more fatal than my wanderings have been.”
“No, dearest Willoughby,”
said the reviving Isabella, “we shall not part; I shall live to bless you, and
to be blessed by you.”
“Good God!” said Mr.
Willoughby, “but I will not pain you by any retrospection; even to ease my
bursting heart, which yearns to confess all its offences towards you.”
“Your heart never offended me,” said Isabella. “I know it always did me justice; but let
us not look back: our way is onward.”
“Oh what a difference!” said
Mr. Willoughby; “this is love! How could I mistake the ignis fatuus which misled me, for the holy flame of real love?”
“No more, my dear
Willoughby; no more, I beg,” said Isabella; “is it not enough that the
day-spring is
returned, and every thing is now seen in its true light?”
“But how besotted must have
been the senses that could revel in such a night of darkness as I have been
lost in!” said Mr. Willoughby.
“Willoughby!” said Isabella,
“at once to end all allusions to this painful subject, learn that you have no
confessions to make me. I know alike your aberrations, and the extent of them.”
“Isabella,” said Mr.
Willoughby, “what do you mean? what is it that you know?”
“I was witness,” said
Isabella;—and as she spoke every drop of her blood retreated to her heart, and
she became cold as marble;—“I was witness to what passed in the little temple
in the wood.”
“And do you still say that
you do not despise, hate, and abhor me?’ cried he, vehemently.
“I pitied you then,” said
Isabella; “I prayed for you: my prayers have been heard, and now—I exult in
you.”
“Oh what a crowd of
torturing recollections have you brought to my mind!” exclaimed Mr. Willoughby.
“What must I have made you suffer! and at such a moment too! our dear boy! and
yet you so meek! so kind! in the midst of all your own agonies so fearful of giving me pain; —me whom
you knew to be a villain! a dissembling, a betraying villain!”
“No, no!” cried Isabella, “I
never thought of you in such a light; for pity’s sake do not harrow both your
feelings and my own, by such groundless apprehensions. I saw the delusion under
which you acted; and trusted that you, too, would
see it; and that all would be well.”
“And then,” said Mr.
Willoughby, pursuing the train of his own thoughts, “the calm dignity of
demeanour; the mild, but steady adherence to what was right; the urgent
entreaty that I would save myself;
the meek submission to inevitable evil; Oh virtue, how uniform are all thy
shapings! and this was the jewel that I flung from me! and for what? Oh lovely,
and beloved! thou mayst forgive me; but never shall I forgive myself!”
“Yes for my sake, you will,” said Isabella;
“henceforth we must have no individual feelings; you will not harbour
resentment against my
best, my dearest friend.”
“In all ways you overcome
me,” said Mr. Willoughby. “But my dearest, how will you teach me to bear with
patience your sufferance of the ills
attendant on that deprivation, which I have imposed upon you? How shall I learn
to see your child despoiled of the
inheritance of his fathers, and not hate the author of such cruelty?”
“By giving me more than I
have lost,” said Isabella; “by leaving to our child a better inheritance than
that of which he has been deprived. What are buildings and acres? the changing
possessions of successive owners. But the fruits of temperance and moderation;
of self-government and integrity; of a christian’s hope and a christian’s
faith, are eternal! These you will convey to your son, by precept and example;
you have received them from your parents, and they have outlived all that they
left you besides; and living they will support you and him; and dying they will
bless you both.”
“Who would dare to be a
coward under such a commander?” cried Mr. Willoughby. “Oh wonderful Isabella!
where learnt you this lofty strain of thought? this power to shake off all
mortal evil; and thus to soar to heaven, while on earth?”
“In the school of adversity,”
replied Isabella, humbly: “I am not afraid to tell you so. I have seen the
moment when your love was nothing to me, in comparison with your integrity; I
have passed through a period, when all the riches of the universe would not
have stilled one agonizing throb; it was as the passage of death, with eternity
opening upon me! and shall I have felt and seen this, and can the impression be
otherwways than indelible? Can there be an instant in my life to come, when the
glories of eternity shall not make pale the brightest of all earthly joys?”
“My instructress, my
guardian angel, my wife! Oh blessed name!” exclaimed the enraptured Willoughby;
“take me to you, and make me all I ought to be!”
“Oh, Willoughby,” said
Isabella; “you have a more celestial guardian, a wiser instructor than I can
be; but all that the affection of a wife can do, I dare affirm, that you shall receive from me. But our minds are
too high set; you tremble; I am exhausted: and yet—how shall we part?”
“You shall not part,” said
the voice of Lady Rachel, as she entered the room. “Forgive me this intrusion;
my anxiety, my fears, have brought me here. I trembled for this dear child, I trembled
for you also, Willoughby, the two dearest possessions that I have now on earth.
Encouraged by your lengthened conference to hope that the virtues of the one
had prevailed over the imperfections of the other, I have ventured to approach
you, and I ask no other proof that all is
as I wish it, than my Isabella’s last words — you are again united, and the
asylum that has been granted to the wife, shall no longer be denied to the
husband.”
At these words of Lady
Rachel’s, Isabella cast herself into her arms in a transport of gratitude; and
the humbled Willoughby bent his knee before her. She tenderly embraced them
both.
“My children,” said she,
“you have nearly destroyed each other; calm yourselves; let us leave this place
of gloom and sorrow: brighter scenes, and happier prospects attend you in my
house. My carriage waits at a little distance; let it be called; and let us
depart together.”
It
was a relief to Mr. Willoughby, to go himself to give orders for
this purpose; and Isabella hiding her face in Lady Rachel’s bosom, gave way to
a gush of tears.
“My trembling conqueror!”
said Lady Rachel, as she pressed her to her heart, “who could guess that this
slight and agitated frame was inspired by a spirit so vigorous and so steady?
But tell me in one word, are you wholly victor? has his pride yielded?”
“It has,” said Isabella. “He
has fulfilled your conditions. He does
mourn the vice. He shrinks not from the punishment.”
“Thank God!” said Lady
Rachel; “then the principles instilled in his early years have not been given
in vain; but no more— neither of you can support further emotion; think only
that your trials are past; that you will be happy.”
Mr. Willoughby returned; and
now it was that he and Isabella fixed their eyes on each other with an earnest
look of inquiry, as if to ask what changes had taken place in the countenance
of either during the unhappy period of their separation. Each saw more than
either cared to express; but the fondness with which Mr. Willoughby threw his
supporting arm round Isabella’s waist, and the tender pressure with which
Isabella seized the hand of Mr. Willoughby, spoke their mutual grief for what
they saw there.
“This pale cheek is a rebel
to your will, my Isabella,” said Mr. Willoughby; “and tells tales of bitter
reproach to me.”
“Peace and love will restore
all,” said Isabella; and moved towards the door, eager to be once more under
the roof of Lady Rachel; and afraid that with the necessity for exertion she
should lose the power.
CHAP. LIV.
“Gratiano speaks an infinite
deal of nothing.”
SHAKSPEARE.
ON
their arrival at the house of Lady Rachel, she immediately condemned Isabella
to the solitude of her own apartment; and delivered Mr. Willoughby to the
affectionate care of Lord Burghley. Nor was she inattentive to the gratification
of her absent friends.
Mr.
Parr having seen Isabella safe under the protection of Lady Rachel, had waited
a few days in the hopes of being witness to some opening prospect of a re-union
between her and Mr. Willoughby, but finding little appearance of this being the
case, he had returned into Westmoreland, having retained the willing Burghley
as his regular intelligencer of all that might occur; and Lady Rachel now
appointed him to the grateful task of communicating to their friends at Eagle’s
Crag, the happy tidings of Mr. Willoughby’s restoration.
She
had another task of the same kind to perform from which she anticipated much
less pleasure. But no time was to be lost in informing Lady Jane Hastings of
the change that had taken place in her daughter’s situation.
Lady
Rachel having therefore provided the best means for the recovery of both
Isabella and Mr. Willoughby from the effects of the violent agitation which
they had undergone; and having secured to Mr. Parr and his daughter as early a
participation as possible in their returning happiness, set forward on her
visit to Lady Jane.
But,
as she had foreseen, since she could not tell of renovated fortune, and
reviving splendour, her intelligence was received with little pleasure or
approbation.
Lady
Jane coldly observed, “that for
her part she had no hopes that Mr. Willoughby would abjure any of his follies.
It was true that his connexion with Lady Charlotte was broken; strangely
broken! she should never be able to understand that business; but he would find
other Lady Charlotte’s, and such affairs were the least of the misfortunes that
he had brought upon her child. She would never give her consent that she should
live in obscurity with him; she ought to have every farthing that his ruinous
proceedings had left him; and if he had gone abroad with Lady Charlotte, the
law must have given it to her. She could derive no comfort from the renewing of
a connexion which she saw would end, finally, in reducing her daughter to
beggary. She might express her feelings too warmly; she hoped Lady Rachel would
excuse her if she did; but a mother must feel as one; and after all that she
had done to establish her child, to see all her labours baffled, and by such
romantic arrangements,
was very mortifying; very hurting; she did not blame Lady Rachel; it was very
natural; very right that she should do the best for her nephew; but she blamed
Isabella; who, if she had no consideration for herself, ought better to have
regarded the interest of her son. When things were come to such extremities,
the law was the best way of settling them; there was then no place for
sentiment and generosity; every thing was done in a fair and equal way; and the
offenders were the sufferers. But she would, with Lady Rachel’s permission, see
Mrs. Willoughby in the morning. She hoped nothing would be done without her
concurrence; and she should certainly, between her daughter and herself, freely
express her opinions, and give her advice as it was the duty of a mother to
do.”
Lady
Rachel replied to all this well bred effusion of wisdom and affection, with a
sufficient quantity of general concession: she admitted, that no doubt much was
to be allowed to the feelings of a mother. That nothing could be more just than
that the law should settle what could not be better settled without its
interference; that romance and sentiment were bad referees in matters of common
sense; that charity forbad us to think the worst; that it was to be hoped Mrs.
Willoughby would not forget the interest of her son; and that it could not be
disputed, that all the social duties ought to keep their respective places, and
be careful not to encroach upon each other. And having acknowledged the truth
of all this fund of original thought, and deep reasoning, she assured Lady Jane
that Mrs. Willoughby would be ready to attend to every thing that her
ladyship’s parental wisdom might see fitting to suggest; and then took her
leave, wondering how an Isabella could be the offspring of a Lady Jane.
But
although Lady Jane had no heart to understand the feelings of Lady Rachel, she
had acuteness of head sufficient to comprehend that she heartily despised her
worldly wisdom; and being aware that, with
such an ally by her side, Isabella would never yield her actions to any other
guidance, she prudently resolved not to expose her reptile arguments to the
eagle swoop of Lady Rachel’s principles; and she therefore exchanged her
purpose of visiting Isabella, for that of writing to her.
As
her letter contained an epitome of all the rules by which the human animal may
best fulfil the first law of
its creation, “the care of itself,” it is thought well worthy of a chapter of its own; and is accordingly given as follows.
CHAP. LV.
“Oh
that you would altogether hold your peace,
and
it should be for your wisdom.”
ANONYMOUS.
“MY DEAR
ISABELLA,
“IT appears to me that after the indignities which you
have received from Mr. Willoughby, and the ruin which he has brought upon you
and your child, you ought not to have taken the decisive step of re-uniting
yourself with him, without the sanction of a parent’s advice. But, perhaps, you regard Lady Rachel as a parent; and no doubt she
might give herself a right to be so considered; but this seems to be out of the
question. I heard no hint of any intention of remembering the relationship
which subsists between her and Mr. Willoughby, even after her death;
and this being the case, you ought to have been aware that she must have an
interest, for her nephew’s sake, in direct opposition to yours, while I can
only seek your good, in whatever I may suggest or advise.
“I was wholly unprepared for this blow; as, from all that
I could collect, there was no reason to have believed that Mr. Willoughby would
ever have been prevailed upon to live with you again. And in this he
certainly judged rightly; for what confidence or concord can be between you?
And in this circumstance the law would have compelled him to have provided for
you to the very extent, and, if possible, beyond the very extent of his power:
and this too would have been only justice; for more than he can now give is
your due, and he ought to be the only sufferer, as he has been the only
offender.
“I hinted something of this kind to you on Tuesday; but
as you were then so feeble, and in such deep sorrow, and especially as I saw no
danger of your having it in your power to act so imprudently as you have done,
I forbore to urge you on the subject then, for which I reproach myself. I ought
to have made every consideration give way to your real interest; and I ought to
have provided against the possibility of what has happened.
“But the mischief has been incurred; and all that can now
be done is to prevent as much as may be your suffering from it.
“As far as I can judge, the only motive that can have
prevailed with Mr. Willoughby to alter his purpose of quitting the kingdom
alone (now I suppose you are to go together), must have been the very scanty
share of that which his ruinous folly has left him, that in that case
must have been at his disposal; and this is the very reason why you should
never have consented to such an alteration of his plans.
“If you do not exert yourself to repair the mistake that
you have made, I can easily foretell what will happen. You and your child will
not only be exposed to all the miseries of poverty and neglect, while he
squanders the poor remnant of that noble fortune which I thought that my
prudence had made so securely yours, but you will be persuaded, or bullied,
into giving up your settlement; and then, good night to all your future
prospects. The affluence which might yet be yours, will be for ever gone; and
you and your boy may be beggars in the streets!
“Perhaps you are not aware (for you were always strangely
thoughtless of such matters) that although I took care that you should be nobly
portioned, in case of Mr. Willoughby’s death, yet that I could not prevail for
any settlement on your children; and your fortune being so small, it would not
have been discreet to have urged this point too strenuously.
“It seems the wisdom of the Willoughby family, like the
foolish wisdom of the English law, ‘abhors entails;’ and you see the
consequences — the wisdom and the property are like to end together. For your
child’s sake, therefore, you ought never to be induced to give up your jointure.
God forbid that I should limit, even in thought, the life of any one; but after
the strange career that Mr. Willoughby has run (and I am told that he is
extremely altered), nobody knows how soon you may be in possession of that part
of his property; and with such an advantage, in addition to your family
distinctions, and your personal recommendations, if you don’t destroy your
beauty by your ill-placed grief, it is not presumptuous to expect that you may
make a second marriage much superior to your first; and by this means,
probably, have it in your power in some degree to make up to your poor ruined
boy the injuries that he has received from his father,—a consideration to which
no maternal heart can be insensible.
“I entreat that you will think seriously of all these
things. I am willing to persuade myself that my present advice will not meet
with the same neglect that attended the last I gave you. Had you listened to
the suggestions of Lady Stanton and myself, conveyed to you through that
degraded Lady Charlotte, none of these terrible things, which have brought such
disgrace on our families, would have happened. You would have been safe, and at
your ease in Westmoreland; and she, poor wretched thing! would still have been
sanctioned by the protection of her husband.
“I shall never be able to understand the cause of her
rupture with Mr. Willoughby; but I suppose it might arise from her being wise
enough to refuse to share his broken fortunes, which ought to be a warning to
you. Having quarrelled with him, what could she do, but what she did? to humble
herself before that vulgar tyrant whom she has made her master was not to be thought of; and my
brother’s temper is so severe that I verily think, had she sought a shelter
with him, that he would have shut her up for the rest of her life; for there is
no man more jealous of his family honour than he is, for which he is much to be
commended. My heart bleeds for my poor sister Stanton. And I am the last person
in the world to say a word that would wound her feelings, or reflect upon her
management; and although I certainly condemned the whole course of the
education that she gave her daughters, as the least likely possible to lead to respectable
establishments in the world, yet I am not ashamed to confess that I did not
foresee such a finale; since nobody could take greater pains to impress
upon their minds a more perfect horror of degradation, or more clearly set
before them the necessity of restraining themselves within the limits that the
world’s opinion has fixed, beyond which no woman who would keep her
reputation can exceed. And certainly any excursion is the more unpardonable,
as, it must be acknowledged, the bounds are not very narrow. But I have
wandered from my subject. All this, Isabella, does not apply to you. I thank
God, I have guarded you better; and I have nothing to fear but a certain
romantic disposition to indiscreet generosity, and forgetfulness of self,
which, in fact, is the abandonment of one of the first of our duties; I might
say of all; since, if we do not take care of ourselves, of whom shall we take
care?
“This fault in your temperament I have never been able
sufficiently to control; it has, indeed been the primary cause of all your
misfortunes. You should earlier have stood upon your rights. But I
cannot take much blame to myself on this score. The fault lay with Mrs. Obrien;
who had certainly extraordinarily fine sentiments, but did not well know how to
direct the application of them. And, indeed, the general inapplicability of such
high-sounding words to any of the actual purposes of life, has often made me
think that they had better be wholly left out in the process of a good
education. They are little better than the gilded backs of wooden books,
to fill up gaps, when the volumes of real use are not sufficient to furnish the
library; they serve but to puzzle and confound, and often prevent the going the
direct way to the end in view. Make use of this observation on the present
occasion. The end that we have in view is, that you shall, as little as
possible, partake of the distresses that the follies of others have produced.
Let no imaginary wife-like duty, or any Curtius’ self-devotion, induce you to
re-unite yourself with your husband, if such a measure of destruction can now,
by any means, be avoided. But if in the state to which your precipitancy has
brought matters this cannot be avoided (and the law is very unjustly severe
against wives who refuse to live with their husbands); then, you must do
nothing without the best legal advice (you know that we can command the
highest in the kingdom) how most securely to put it out of your own power to be
cheated or coaxed out of your future independency. Indeed, I enjoin you
to do this, as you value your duty to me. Were I to use a less strong word, I
should not do mine to you.
“There is certainly no alternative to your going abroad,
if you are obliged to adhere to your rashly renewed engagement with your
indiscreet husband. It is, indeed, a measure that I would advise; for to live
in England in your degraded state would be to aggravate all the evils to which
you are exposed; and I will do Mr. Willoughby the justice to say, that, with
all his faults, I believe he has too much spirit to submit to such a
humiliation. I hope you have sufficient dignity of mind to be of the same
opinion. But you must not think of Paris; nor would I yet have you hide
yourselves in any very obscure provincial town, and so be quite forgotten.
There are places to be found where you might still live with some little distinction,
and where all you spend would tell. That is, indeed, the great advantage
of a foreign residence; nobody knows the interior of the menage: provided the
outside is a little glittering, nobody troubles their head as to what is
within.You ought to insist upon the choice being left to yourself, as some
small return for the sacrifices that you have already made, and are still to make; and, if
you do this, you may avail yourself of my advice in this particular, however
strangely you may have neglected to resort to it upon so many more important
points. I have, however, now endeavoured to remedy, as well as I can, the evils
that are already incurred; and to obviate those which still hang over you.
“You may see, by the length of this letter, how important
your interests are to me. It is not from leisure that I have taken the
time necessary to write it; but I preferred writing to calling upon you at Lady
Rachel’s. I know that she must naturally be inimical to my side of the
question; and I did not think it well-bred, to come into her house for the
purpose of counteracting a mode of proceeding which she may think the most
beneficial to the interests of her relation; besides which, I must confess that
I was unwilling to run the risk of encountering Mr. Willoughby. It may be right
in Lady Rachel (for it is not my way to judge any one) to receive him again
under her roof; but I hope it will not be expected of me that I shall ever
admit him under mine. A parent’s feelings ought to be respected. Nor will I
ever hold intercourse with him if I can help it. The same consideration that
prevents me from visiting you at Lady Rachel’s, makes me desire that you will
not communicate the contents of this letter to her. Of course they must be a
secret from your husband; both as I do not wish unnecessarily to offend him,
and as his being aware of the warnings I have given you, would probably render
them inefficient. It may be more prudent not to let him discover that I am
hostile to him; and as this might appear, if I were to visit you, and to refuse
to see him, I think it better that you should come to me. I will be at
liberty to receive you any morning before one, which, you know, I neither would
nor could engage to be for any one less dear to me than you are. Your sisters
entirely agree with me in all my opinions. They long to see you; but neither do
they like to go to Lady Rachel’s.
“I think that we shall be able to bring the matter to
bear, of which I gave you a hint the other day; but I dare not speak with
certainty. If things go on well, I will profit by my experience, and not expose
Harriet to the inconveniences that you are exposed to, from having no
pin-money; nor will I leave her offspring without a provision that cannot be
dissipated by an extravagant father.
“God bless you, my dear child, and enable you to follow
my counsels, and to profit by them.
“Ever your tenderly attached parent,
JANE HASTINGS.”
Lady Jane’s precaution to conceal the advice which she so
maternally pressed upon Isabella, was wholly unnecessary. Isabella would as
soon have thought of revealing that her mother was a thief, as she would have
disclosed such an exposition of her principles and opinions, either to Lady
Rachel or to Mr. Willoughby. She felt as if she were almost guilty of a
parricide in looking on such an exposure of the nakedness of the mind of a
parent, and scarcely giving herself time to come to a conclusion of the paper,
she hastily committed it to the flames, earnestly wishing at the same time that
she could blot its contents from her memory.
Thus would this valuable document of maternal wisdom have
been lost to posterity, had not the higher estimate that its author made of its
merits caused her to deposit a copy of it, entitled, “A copy of my letter to my daughter Willoughby, dissuading
her from a re-union with her husband,” in the secret recesses of her
private cabinet; from whence to be produced whenever any future contingency in
the Hastings family might call for a similar effort of her talents and her
zeal.
CHAP. LVI.
“An
angel’s arms are round me!—no! a mortal’s!
A
mortal thing sublimed and beautified
By
woes that would have broken many a heart!”
WILSON.
AT any other period Isabella would have felt such an
evidence of the want of integrity and generous feelings in the mind of a
parent, as a real affliction; but at the present still dearer interests were at
stake.
It required all the powers of her understanding to
determine what course to pursue, and all the firmness of her principle to abide
the consequence of her decision.
She was as well aware as Lady Jane, that more than one
path lay before her; and that all were rugged. On the choice which she made,
must depend, not only all the happiness that she could hope for in life, but
the peace of a self-acquitting conscience. The alternative lay between
contending evils; and to balance these fairly, and courageously to support the
decision of the preponderating scale, was the arduous task that was appointed
her.
But she had no longer to dread from Mr. Willoughby any
opposition to whatever she might see best or fittest to be done. So absolute was become her
dominion over his mind and his affections, that he was but as an infant in the
hands of the tenderest of mothers. She felt her own responsibility but the more
weighty.
That they were henceforth to live together, and that they
could not but live in love and concord, were no longer matters of doubt; but
how they were to live, and what proportion of the necessaries or comforts of
life they were to allow themselves, were questions of no easy decision. Justice
and loftiness of spirit pointed one way; the prejudice of habit and
self-indulgence another. Isabella’s decision was made; but to impose it upon
Mr. Willoughby in these the first moments of his enthusiastic astonishment and rapture was to
hazard his after-repentance, and the abatement of his attachment to her. The
choice, however, must be made; and every motive of honesty and delicacy called
for its being made without delay.
The papers which had been transmitted from Roberts by Mr.
Parr, and the clear and unsullied fairness of every statement made by Mr.
Willoughby to Lord Burghley, had put her in possession of every necessary
particular on which the determination could be founded. But she felt that the
choice must be Mr. Willoughby’s, not hers; and she was now to put to the test
whether his mind had indeed recovered that vigorous tone which would enable him
at once to see what was right, and courage to pursue it, even to the cutting
off a right hand, or the plucking out a right eye.
“My dearest Willoughby,” said she, “it appears from the
disclosures which you have so kindly made to me, that the alternative which is
offered to our choice is, either to sell Eagle’s Crag out of hand, or to remove
into some retired and unexpensive residence. If we pursue the first measure, we
shall obtain an immediate affluence of property, sufficient to supply us with
the means to enjoy not only the comforts of life, but some of its luxuries and
distinctions; and we may resume, although with an abatement of its splendour, our
former career in the world. Should we, however, see in this mode of proceeding
any thing that hurts our feelings, or that is at variance with our principles,
we must resolve upon a long course of obscurity and self-denial; but we may
calculate on the result as enabling us to transmit to our offspring the
possessions of your ancestors, if not wholly undiminished, yet in such a state
as will shield our memory from the reproach of injustice or improvidence. With
you, my Willoughby, I am willing to share either fortune; and you have a right
to make the option.”
Isabella trembled as she made this statement; Mr.
Willoughby trembled as he heard it. But neither of them knew from what feeling
the emotion of the other arose.
“My dear Isabella,” said Mr. Willoughby, his voice
quivering with agitation as he spoke, “I ought to have no vote in this
decision. I have but too well proved that I am an unworthy guardian of my wife
and child. You must alone determine.”
“If,” said Isabella, “you could submit your wishes as
implicitly to me as you do with so much kindness your verbal assent, I should
then have no difficulty in my choice; for you would be equally happy either
way. But the will cannot be thus passive; and as much of the good or evil which
belongs to either side of the alternative must depend upon the concurrence of
the will in whatever is done, we must rather seek to determine that to
what is best and most right, than rashly undertake what we shall be unable to
perform.”
Mr. Willoughby was silent. His eyes were fixed on the
ground; his colour went and came. Isabella’s heart palpitated; she dreaded to
hear his voice.
At length, casting a hasty glance on Isabella, and
instantly withdrawing it,
“My beloved,” said he, with much emotion, “I never can
make this decision! How can I doom you to deprivation and obscurity?”
Isabella’s heart was still.
“Can you rather,” said she, “divest yourself of the
inheritance of your fathers? Can you give your son a right to reproach your
memory?”
“Is it possible,” said he, starting up, and eagerly
embracing her, “is it possible that you can wish, at every conceivable
inconvenience to yourself, to enable me to repair the wrongs that I have done
to my boy? to give me a right once more to be at peace with myself?”
“Is it possible,” said Isabella, with a smile, and with
the tone of the fondest love, “is it possible that you should doubt
it?”
“I know,” said he, “that you would have shared any
straits of poverty with me, if such had been my inevitable lot; but here is an
option, an option that you have a right to make; — that you may make without
injustice; that in some respects might perhaps be made with advantage. And do
you wave every selfish consideration, and offer yourself a sacrifice on the
altar of my folly?”
“I know not the words yours and mine,” said
Isabella. “I know not how to distinguish them in my understanding, or my
feeling. Your happiness is my happiness; your honour my honour; your
integrity my integrity. These are jewels that, although they may not
sparkle in the hair, will rest within the breast; and when self-denial shall
have redeemed too lavish a self-indulgence, and exemplary conduct have
obliterated the remembrance of former thoughtlessness, then may we raise up our
heads in the honest confidence of virtue, and allow our hearts to rejoice in
the happiness that our own efforts have given us. And what is there in all this
like waving any selfish consideration?ľof offering ourselves sacrifices on any
altar? The mind’s health, my Willoughby, is nothing else but virtue; and shall
we so assiduously cater for the body, that must perish, and neglect the welfare
of the soul, that shall exist to all eternity!”
“Dearest! best! most lovely! most beloved!” said the
enraptured Willoughby; “with what sweet flowers do you strew the rugged path of duty;
let us then tread it together! and should I sometimes stumble at the roughness
in the way, your kind arm will be ready to support me; while with steadier pace
you keep right onward to the reward in view.”
“Dear Willoughby,” said Isabella, “if you make my
progress thus happy, shall I not be apt to forget that there is any heaven
beyond it? But come, let us hasten to rejoice the heart of our dear Lady
Rachel: she knew that the important decision was to rest with you; and I may
now redeem my pledge, that you would make it under the control of reason and of
virtue.”
With these words, and on the wings of joy, Isabella flew
to Lady Rachel:
“Bless your children! my dear Lady Rachel,” said she; “from henceforth we
shall be worthy of your love.”
“You do not then sell Eagle’s Crag?” said Lady Rachel.
“Oh, no, no!” cried they both in a breath; “for the world
would we not part with that dear inheritance.”
“And how do you propose to live?” said Lady Rachel, in a
tone that totally disappointed the expectations of Isabella; and turned back
the tide of pleasure, which but the moment before had flowed through every
vein.
“My
dear Lady Rachel,” said Isabella, “why such a question? where will be the
difficulty? Shall we not have sufficient for all the wants of virtue?”
“And
shall you have no other wants?” said Lady Rachel.
“No,
no!” said Isabella,
earnestly. “I answer for us both.”
“Isabella!”
said Mr. Willoughby, “Lady Rachel sees the sacrifice which you are so generously
willing to make in its true light. I ought not to have been overcome by the
enthusiasm even of your love, of your virtue! it shall be the last selfish
feeling to which I will ever yield. Eagle’s Crag shall be sold!”
“Then,
I will become the purchaser,” said Lady Rachel; “and give it to — Isabella.”
“Oh,
my dear madam,” cried Isabella, with an accent of distress, “you are too good,
too kind to trifle with our feelings: what can this mean? what are we to
understand by this?”
“That
I adopt you as my daughter,” said she, throwing her arms around Isabella: “that
I endow you with all the accumulated property that belonged to that sacred
name. My dear Willoughby,” continued she, turning to her nephew, “take from my
hand, the child of my love; the most perfect emanation of the divine Nature
which has yet visited our earth! I need not bid you love her; she has made it
impossible that you should do otherwise. But cherish her, imitate her! and may
the God of all mercy bless you through succeeding generations!”
Surprise,
joy, gratitude; with a thousand mingled sensations, from recollections of the
past, and consciousness of the present, threw Mr. Willoughby in speechless
emotion at the feet of Lady Rachel, while the more chastened and unmixed
feelings of Isabella, caused her to cling fondly to the arm of her
benefactress, and gaze upon her with the ardent eye of grateful affection.
“Rise,
my dear Willoughby,” said Lady Rachel; “now no longer the object of my direst
apprehensions, and of my saddest regrets! but the cherished offspring of a
beloved sister, who, even on the throne of bliss, will join the hallelujah of
angels, for the repentance of a sinner. My Isabella, you have thought my
discipline severe; but the ingot is come forth from the fire pure gold. No fear
for the future need now disturb your bliss. He who has been tried, and has
stood the trial, as this poor culprit has done, is more to be depended upon
than one who had never fallen. Willoughby, look up! let your eye meet mine; never more to
sink under its scrutinizing fixture, as it has so often done in times no more
to be remembered; take to your protection my dearest child: in committing her
to your care, I prove the confidence that I have in the renewal of your
hereditary virtues; and in making you an unrestrained sharer in a gift
which I had dedicated wholly to her use, I recognize your identity. We will
kill the fatted calf, and repair in company to keep the feast at Eagle’s Crag!”
CHAP.
LVII.
“Surer
to prosper, than prosperity
Could
have assured us.” MILTON.
THAT
neither Isabella, nor Mr. Willoughby died of joy, I think it not more than
necessary to declare in express terms; although it may perhaps require more
credit as an historian, than I can flatter myself that I possess, to make it
believed.
But
infidelity does not injure truth; and if any one will take the trouble of
making a journey into Westmoreland, and can there discover that stately mansion
and princely domain so celebrated in these volumes, they will there find living
witnesses of my veracity.
Nor
are Mr. Willoughby and Isabella the only happy persons who bless and are blest in that remote country.
The
ardent Burghley, having danced and sung, laughed and wept, and embraced every
man, woman, and child, that came in his way, declared that the information
which was to be conveyed to Eagle’s Crag was of too holy a nature to be thrown
into the general mass of miscellaneous tidings intrusted to the care of the vulgar post; that an especial messenger must be appointed to the
office, and that he would himself be that messenger.
No
one was inclined to dispute his claim; but he set not forward on his journey
until he had provided himself with letters of credit from Lord Burghley, by
which he was authorised and entitled to woo and to win the fair Catherine if he
could. The task was not a difficult one.
She
was already half won; and the delighted approbation which her father expressed
of the sentiments of her heart, secured that heart wholly to Mr. Burghley.
If
the first festival held at the mansion of the ancient family of the
Willoughby’s, celebrated the return of “the prodigal,” the second was honoured
by the union of unspotted innocence and uncorruptible integrity. And that there
might be no interruption to the happiness either of Isabella or Catherine, from
the new connexion thus formed by the latter, a residence was found for the
happy pair, in the midway between Eagle’s Crag and Fell-beck.
The excellent, the venerable Mr. Parr, now almost
restored to happiness, continued still to call the latter place his home;
but he was so frequently an inhabitant of the apartments assigned to his use,
both at Eagle’s Crag, and Raven’s Tearne, as to leave it doubtful whether he
thought it so.
Lady
Rachel also retained her house in town; but she found so many charms during the
summer in Westmoreland, and so much difficulty in quitting it in winter, that
she too was rather a resident than a visitor.
Thus
surrounded by their friends, and blest by each other, Mr. Willoughby and
Isabella, in offering up their thanksgivings for the manifold blessings that
were bestowed upon them, failed not to acknowledge, that the afflictions with
which they had been visited, were the most precious of them all.
A few
words, and only a few, on a less grateful subject.
Mr.
Dunstan hastened to fulfil the wishes of Lady Charlotte, by dissolving the
union between them finally and completely. But speedy as were his movements to
effect this purpose, they could not outrun the fleeting connexion which had
been so suddenly formed between Lady Charlotte and Sir Charles Seymour. A very
few weeks put an end to an arrangement from which they were to have been “the
happiest of creatures!” and Sir Charles thought himself bound neither by the
“fair hand” of the lady, nor by his “honour as a gentleman,” to renew it in a
form that would give Lady Charlotte a legal right to be a torment to him for
the remainder of his life.
Dissension
first, and desertion afterwards, if it could not make Lady Charlotte virtuous,
made her at least heartily sick of vice; but it being more easy to raise the
evil spirits of darkness than to lay them, she continued the unwilling slave to
all those raging passions, which she had hoped to make the instruments of torment to others; and having to do with
the vindictive disposition of Mr. Dunstan, which, in seeking to inflict
punishment, found no means better fitted to his sordid apprehension than the
imposition of poverty, she remains for the rest of her life equally indigent
and despised.
Nor
did Sir Charles Seymour escape without a competent retribution for the evil of
his doings. Afraid to return to his native land, where shame and scorn await
him, he continues a wanderer upon foreign ground, unwillingly atoning, by a
life of unceasing mortification and excruciating recollections, his offences
perpetrated against Morna, and meditated against Isabella!
In
having delineated the excellences of self-command in an Isabella, I feel
persuaded that I have only sketched a picture, the original of which will be
recognized in many a virtuous breast—“Ed Io anche son’ Pittore!”
But I
am prepared to be told, that no such a
monster as Lady Charlotte is to be found.
As
well may it be denied that the minute germ in the bosom of the acorn can expand
into the lofty and extensive
oak, as that the corrupt propensities of the human heart, unchastened by
discipline, and unrestrained by principle, will not grow up into the full
stature of every atrocity that ever disgraced the name of man.
If
then, in shewing the fruits I hold forth a warning against the culture of the
root, let me rather be considered as the guardian than as the calumniator of
human nature; and let not the instructors of youth allow any of the wide spreading branches of “dignified spirit,”
“emulation,” “the point of honour,” or “justice to self,” to shelter from their
exterminating hook, — Pride, — Envy, — Revenge, — or Malice.
THE
END.
LONDON:
PRINTED BY J. NICHOLS AND SON, PARLIAMENT-STREET.